She was different, and I knew it instantly.
It was in the way she didn’t peek up at us but stared full-on, her chin held as high as ours if not higher. She gave lip when we demanded silence. When we pushed, she pushed harder, stepped in closer and lit our asses on fire in a way nobody ever had. She tested us more than we have her and without even trying, maybe even completely unaware.
At the thought, the pulse in my neck throbs harder against my skin as my anger boils higher with each passing second.
The fucked up part is I know Cap is on the same level we are right now, but he has more to lose, so he’s in a fucked up position.
I know my brother, he’ll be kicking his own ass later over even suggesting we stop looking for the night.
Still, with his inner struggles now in our face, Captain nods, looking between us. He’s ready to ride even though he wishes we’d listen. “If we play like shit, we lose.”
“Yeah,” Royce mocks, not allowing himself to feel the guilt that’ll hit later for our being selfish right now. “We lose, we jeopardize the season and Graven Preps stats raise, and piece of shit Principal Perkins will cause problems, and Dad will get on our fucking cases from a five by nine cement cell, and it’ll all fall harder on your shoulders because of Zoey, man, but— ” His mouth clamps shut when a click sounds.
Our heads jerk when the front door slowly creeps open and Raven steps inside.
She’s measured in her motions, taking her sweet ass time to close and lock the door, prolonging what she’s expecting to come at her – the fucking firing squad.
I quickly meet my brothers’ frowns with my own before shifting it back to her.
I clench my jaw, forcing myself to wait until she turns around and looks at me, but Royce jumps in before she even can.
“What the fuck, Raven?!” He rushes forward.
Captain grips his shoulder to try and calm him, but he jerks free waiting for her to meet is glare. When she refuses, a sour laugh leaves him and he kicks over the coffee table, sending shit flying before storming up the stairs.
“Raven,” I call her eyes to mine, but she only blows out a deep breath and looks to the left.
“I needed to clear my head,” she rasps. “And in case you forgot, I don’t have to ask anyone’s permission to do it.”
“Are you for real right now?” I growl and push toward her. “After all the shit from the last few days, you wanna play this fucking game?”
“I’m not playing games.”
“Then fucking talk!” I shout, moving even closer. “You can’t just run off whenever—”
“I can, and I will!” she yells back, trying for her usual defiant self, but her voice cracks without permission and her eyes quickly dart to the floor in a very un-Raven-like move.
Every muscle in my body locks, a sudden sickness spinning in my gut.
What the hell...
I glance to my brother, hoping for a sign of what he’s thinking, but his stare is just as wary as mine.
“Raven...” I try again, a little calmer this time and finally her stormy eyes hit mine.
My lungs constrict as I get a good look.
Her makeup has worn off, eyes are puffy and red, a silent scream bristling, a flicker of something I can’t quite read sitting at the edge, ready to burst.
I bite into my cheek to keep my mouth shut, fighting for some damn restraint when it’s the last thing I want to do.
I had every fucking intention of ripping into her and not letting up but staring at her now, standing in front of me all beat up and bruised, emotionally drained from whatever is running through her mind, and physically from being attacked at our underground ring, I can’t fucking do it. My shoulders fall.
“I need ... a shower and sleep.” Even though she says it, she doesn’t move right away.
She doesn’t move at all until I take a half step toward her. That kicks her into gear and she hustles for the stairs.
Both Cap’s and my eyes follow until her feet are no longer seen on the steps.
He turns back to me, speaking low. “I knew she was off earlier, but I can’t convince myself it has anything to do with the fight.”
“Cap.” My fucking body is weighted, ready to drop. “Tell me it’s not because we weren’t there to help her. Tell me she doesn’t look at me and see a man who can’t keep her safe.”
Captain grips my shoulder, looking me dead in the eye. “She left on her own, man, she purposely stepped away from us. The question we need to be asking is, was it because she needed a minute to herself” —he lifts his brows— “or because she needed to take care of something she didn’t want us to be a part of? And I don’t know the answer, my man. But what happened to her last night? That shit wasn’t your fault.”
“What if it was?” I argue. “What if she was jumped because of what we’ve made her?”
Cap laughs lightly, but it’s defeated. “We didn’t make her anything, brother. Raven was born who she is. Yeah, we brought her into our world, but she came in strong and determined. It’s why she blended instantly. All we can do is try to understand the fucked-up way she was raised to think. Maybe down the road, she’ll understand she’s not alone anymore.”
I narrow my eyes on him. “Why do you sound like you know she pulled some shit tonight?”
He sighs, releasing me. “I don’t know, but I feel like she’s in her head right now. Last time she was like this was when we tried to force her hand the day her mom showed up and she purposely tried to get herself kicked out of the Bray house, all to prove a point. That she was in control of her own moves.”
“Things are different now,” I all but growl.
We’re not fucking dispensable to her. I know it.