“There’s no way this shit is so cut and dry. Look how she’s acting? All the shit with Chloe and those girls out there? Vienna was right, they took off because they’re afraid of her. If they think she cares if they come near us, how the fuck can we not?”
“Maybe you’re seeing things you want to be there, Madman,” Royce mumbles, looking wretched.
He doesn’t believe what he’s saying either, but he doesn’t wanna feel the burn of losing her twice.
She reacted tonight, and in the hall at the school.
Or maybe I am trippin’ like he says.
“Why hasn’t Dad called again?” I ask them. “I texted and nothing. He said he was handling shit, and nothing. Why?”
Both frown, shaking their heads, at a loss.
“Fuck man,” I mumble. “I’m over this shit. Let’s leave.”
They both agree and within minutes we’re in the car, the party and Raven behind us.
Not a fucking word is spoken on the way home to the house that feels emptier than it should.
I shake my limbs out, rolling my shoulders around as I breathe in the cold December night air.
Fuck, I’m ready to explode.
I was ready to kill that girl. She’s lucky her friend spotted me sitting there in the dark corner I was lurking in and ripped her ass away before I did it with a grip to her hair.
That’s all I’d need right now. Collins was already on extra dickhead mode after everything at the school but fuck him. I gave his bitch ass thirty days max and then he’s on his own in a pool of Brayshaw people.
Really though, what the fuck is Maddoc doing? It’s irrational for me to be pissed, I left them – left him – high and dry with no word, but still. I can’t handle seeing his hands on anyone else, maybe he knows it and that’s why he did it, or maybe I was just another Bray Girl and in slides a new one.
All I know is I can’t watch it, so they’ll need to keep their fucking hands, feet and faces away until I allow more – which will be when I’m gone.
“What are you doing?”
I roll my eyes and spin around, holding my arms out. “Breathing, Collins. Just fucking breathing.”
He laughs lightly and walks over. “Good job tonight, you kept your cool. I’m impressed.”
“Gee, thanks. Goal fulfilled,” I deadpan.
He grins and looks out at the dark night as I was.
He nods, his brows pulling in. “We don’t have to fight, Rae. This could go a lot differently.”
I scoff. “So you won’t hold me in with blackmail?”
“No.” He tilts his head, still looking off. “Still need to keep you where you are, but it doesn’t have to be a miserable time for you, you know?” He looks my way.
I frown, and he shrugs.
“You and I would have been friends if it wasn’t for them. Things between us would be good and our own choice,” he says, his eyes bouncing between mine. “I’m not a bad guy, if you weren’t in the middle of our problem, you would have seen that on your own.”
“Maybe you’re right.” I consider his words and go for honest. “But I can’t say for sure. All I know now is you’re the asshole standing between where I am and where I wanna be.”
He shakes his head. “You only want to be there because they got to you first.”
My head pulls back. “Nobody got to me and we can’t go back in time, now can we? I made my bed and I know the drill that follows. This is a pointless conversation. I’ll be standing next to your car when you decide you’re done sniffing around here.”
“What if I told you I knew you were coming before you got here?” he calls out and I freeze.
I spin around slowly. “Then I’d say I expected that. I’m sure you watch their every move. I bet you have a PI watching their PI. Anything to get a leg up, Collins, but eventually you’ll need to find your own moves and stop counting on the steps of others. An incapable man is a weak man, and I’ve seen nothing straight from your hands.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“Challenge, observation, solid fucking fact.” I shrug. “It’s whatever you want it to be, Graven, but none of that matters, because at the end of the day, you’re still you and they’re still them. Stronger by count and courage.”
I turn and walk away.
Fuck life.
I walk into third period, the first class of the day I have with Maddoc and now Collins to find that my chair is missing.
I look up, meeting Maddoc’s eyes and he tips his chin back, leaning lazily in his seat.
I glance to the teacher who purposely looks everywhere but at me – she knows who’s in charge and it sure as shit isn’t her.
I’m about to say fuck it and walk out when Collins gets a little braver than he should.
“Come here, baby,” he says, and the entire fucking room goes silent. The teacher even freezes, arm stuck in the air ready to write on the board.
Collins sits back in his seat, patting his lap with a devilish look in his eye. “I’ve got a seat you happen to love.”
I open my mouth to speak, not really sure what’s about to come out when suddenly the choice isn’t left to me and I’m drug from the room, literally, my feet sliding across the flooring as Maddoc yanks me by the arms from the class.
“Hello!” I shout at the teacher ... who turns away from the scene.
Mac rushes out after us, and for a half second, I think maybe he’s considering stopping Maddoc, but he spins, pulls the door closed and holds it there, right as Collins reaches it.
Collins bangs on the small window from the other side, fighting to pull it open.
Maddoc continues to drag me along until he can shove me into a small concave in the hallway. He gets in my face.
“The fuck is going on?!” he booms. “And don’t you fucking dare bullshit me, Raven. Talk. Now.”
“Nothing to talk about, Big Man—”
“Don’t. Call. Me. That—” he growls, stepping against me.
I think he expects me to fight him, or shove at him or to tell him the truth.
He definitely doesn’t expect me to melt against his erratically beating heart the second it blends with mine.
He also doesn’t expect it when I move to my tippy toes and yank his head down until my lips smash into his.