I didn’t hear her wake up, but I’m glad that she did. I touch my nose against the side of her cheek and rock against her again.
“Beh,” I sigh into her hair. It still smells good though the scent of fruit seems to be gone.
“Ehd!” Beh grabs at my hand, pushes it away from her skin, and scurries out of the pile of furs, away from me. She hauls the top fur toward her and wraps it quickly around the top part of her body. Many sounds come out of her mouth—loud, fast, and harsh.
I look over to her, confused. I don’t understand what she is doing.
Beh turns away and looks toward the fire, still making a lot of sounds. She is angry. That much is obvious, but what I’ve done wrong is a mystery. I start to move closer to her, but she cries out, stands, and wraps the fur more tightly around her shoulders. More loud sounds come from her mouth as she backs away from me and goes to the cave’s entrance.
I stand as well, following her outside. She is crying, and I don’t want her to be sad. Yesterday she was happy; I know she was. We had to work hard, but she was happy. Now she’s upset with me, and I don’t know why.
When I get close to Beh, she turns and narrows her eyes at me. I stop short as she holds her hand out and points at me with her finger.
“Ehd, no!”
Every muscle in my body halts.
I remember the sound from before, when I tried to help her undress at the lake. I take a quick step back, cowering slightly. Is she going to hit my nose again? I whimper and watch her closely as she pulls her hand back to her chest. She stands in the dim morning light and stares at me a moment. I can see hurt in her eyes.
I want to go to her, to hold her until she feels better, but I’m certain she won’t allow it.
“Beh?” I say softly.
Beh groans as her hands come up and cover her face. She rubs her fingers into her eyes so hard I’m afraid she will hurt herself, but when she takes them away, her expression is softer. She looks from me to the ground and back to me again before making more sounds with her mouth.
They are soft noises again, though, so I listen carefully. I don’t want her to say that no sound again. She doesn’t, and after a while, she sighs and takes a step toward me. I flinch a bit, and she holds out her hand to me slowly.
Tentative, I reach out my own hand. When our fingers touch, Beh comes closer and takes my hand in hers. She whispers more sounds as her thumb runs over the back of my hand. Her eyes meet mine, and they are expectant. She looks out toward the steppes, makes more sounds, and looks back to me again. Her eyes are questioning, but I don’t know what she needs.
I never know what she needs from me.
Unexpectedly, Beh takes a step forward and places her mouth on the side of my face.
Her lips are warm and soft, and I have no idea why she would do such a thing. I look at her out of the corner of my eye as I take a slight step backwards. I lift my hand to my cheek and touch the spot, rubbing at it a little.
Beh’s lips smash together, and she seems to be holding in a laugh. I don’t understand why, but I’m glad she doesn’t seem to be sad now. Maybe whatever I did wrong was fixed when she put her mouth on my face. It would not surprise me.
My mate really is rather strange.
And beautiful.
Twisting my fingers around hers, I bring Beh back into our cave and get her a drink and eat some of the dried antelope meat. When we’re done eating, Beh uses more mint leaves to rub her teeth and mine before heading out to find more food to store for winter. Though I have not tried for some time, I decide to make some traps in the pine forest to see if I can catch rabbits. Beh’s strange foot coverings don’t seem like they would keep her warm at all, and rabbit fur would be good for her hands and feet if it gets too cold in the winter months.
I think back to the previous spring and wonder how I managed to even keep myself alive. Before I had Beh, I didn’t think about winter until the temperature changed from hot to cool again. Now I have to think about everything much sooner, even before the weather turns hot. I’m glad I’m alive—glad I didn’t give up—because now I can take care of Beh. If I hadn’t survived, she wouldn’t have anyone to take care of her now.
I set three traps before we go back to the field and collect more grain. This time, I think to bring an extra hide with me so I don’t have to use the one I am wearing. We work quickly, but when a rumble of thunder crosses the sky, we must head back to the cave with all we have gathered.