I wasn’t going to fuck it up.
She turned to face me with a shy smile on her mouth. From the nightstand, she lifted out a box of condoms. “I bought these.”
Damn it. I should have told her I’d already taken care of the condoms. Buying them couldn’t have been easy for her. I crossed over into her bedroom and took the box from her hands, tossing it onto the bed behind her.
“I want to talk to you about something.”
Her forehead creased. “What?”
“I want this to feel good for you.” I ran my knuckles over her cheek. “Don’t feel pressured to say yes, but I got tested a couple of weeks ago. I’m clean. And I’ve never not used a condom. So if you’re okay with it, then I don’t want anything between us.”
She nodded fast. “I’m on the pill.”
“I know.” I grinned. “I kind of snooped in your bathroom one night.”
I’d known this would eventually happen and I hadn’t wanted to put her at any risk. So I’d driven up to Kalispell and gotten myself tested right after our first date. I’d also picked up my own box of condoms in case she wasn’t willing to take that chance.
“This is your decision. If you want the added protection, I’m fine with that.”
She dropped her eyes, taking a moment to think it over, then she shook her head and looked back up. “No, I trust you.”
I wasn’t sure why.
I’d messed up for years, not giving her the attention she deserved. Then I’d blown her first kiss. She had to know that before this was over, I’d fuck up at least a dozen more times. But still, she trusted me and it meant the world.
I trusted her too. I’d never gone without a condom, no matter how many times women had begged me to go bare. I’d provided the protection. Always.
Except for now.
Willa was special. She was the exception to all my rules, because with her, there was no need to guard myself against manipulation or deception.
She was the type of woman who did things the right way. In the right order. Date. Engagement. Fancy wedding. Her dad would walk her down the aisle and her mom would cry as they shared their father-daughter dance. After she was married, her husband would buy her a puppy. Then they’d have kids.
Since that guy—whoever he was—would be getting those moments, I was taking this one.
“Jackson?” Willa’s sweet voice snapped me out of my head. “Are you okay?”
I smiled, shaking off the uneasy feeling in my gut. “Never better.”
Dipping low, I gave her a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth, trailing my lips along her cheek to her ear. Her entire body trembled whenever I kissed her ear, so I captured an earlobe between my teeth, tugging at it before letting it go to drag my tongue up the curved shell.
“Gosh,” she breathed.
My arms banded around her back, pulling her flush against my body as I returned to her mouth. I went at her with full force, using every trick I had to leave her breathless.
Our chests were heaving against one another’s when I finally unglued myself from her mouth. When had simple kissing gotten so damn good? Her tongue twisting with mine was enough to get me so worked up I could blow at any second. “God, Willa.”
“Don’t change your mind,” she pleaded, assuming I’d stopped for a different reason.
I grinned. “I won’t.”
Loosening my arms, I slid my hands down her sides and picked her up, laying her down on the bed. Then I swatted the box of condoms away.
She sat up and gripped the hem of her hoodie, but I stopped her. “Let me. Just close your eyes.”
“Okay.” Her hands shook as she dropped her shirt and lay back on the bed.
“It’s all right to be nervous,” I told her as I slid off her flip-flops.
“I’m not.” She lifted her head, locking her gaze with mine. “I’m not nervous. Not with you.”
She had so much faith in me—more than I deserved.
Do not fuck this up.
“Close your eyes.”
She nodded, lying back down on the white quilt with her blond hair spread out to the sides. When her eyes drifted closed, I ran my hands slowly up her legs. The tremors in her body increased as I skated up her thighs toward the waistband of her jeans.
While my fingers undid the button, I swung up on the bed, straddling her knees as I loomed over her. She smiled when my weight hit the bed but kept her eyes closed like I’d ordered.
“God, you’re beautiful.”
She smiled wider, proving my point.
I undid her jeans and peeled them off her lean legs. Then I tossed them on the floor and feasted my eyes on her red lace panties.
Her sexy-as-fuck lingerie had shocked the hell out of me at first. I’d expected to find prim and proper white, cotton briefs under Willa’s sundresses. But my woman was always in lace or silk. Sometimes she wore bikinis and other times a thong. No matter what color her panties were, her bras always matched.
Undressing her was like opening a present.
I didn’t know if the underwear was for me, but I didn’t care. If she did it to make herself feel pretty, I’d gladly be the guy who got to enjoy it too.
“Are you wet for me, babe?” I ran a finger over the gusset of her panties, making her squirm. “You’re wet.”
But she’d need to be wetter for me to fit. I went for the hem of her hoodie, pulling it up her ribs, making sure my knuckles raked across her creamy skin as I pulled it up. I grinned when I got a glimpse of her red bra. It had lace cups, like her panties, and her hard nipples were pink and puckered underneath. I lowered my mouth, sucking one into my mouth, lace and all.
“Jackson,” Willa moaned, her hands coming to my head.
Those sounds she made drove me wild. We’d been getting pretty hot and heavy these last couple of weeks and I’d worked hard to get to know her body.
Our foreplay wasn’t just about putting in my due diligence to get the prize. It was about worshiping her body so she could trust me with it. It was about discovering her tells so I’d know when I hit the right spots.
I abandoned one nipple, moving toward the next, dropping kisses along her sternum as I did. After giving her other nipple some attention, I trailed my mouth down, kissing at the soft swells of her breasts. I kissed at the sensitive skin over her ribs because it made her breath catch. Then I kissed down the softness of her stomach, lingering on her belly button for just a moment because I loved how it made her hum.
Willa’s hips pivoted back and forth, searching as I slowly went lower. I kissed down her mound, then like I’d done with her nipples, I sucked her clit into my mouth through her panties.
“Oh my god,” she cried, nearly bucking off the bed.
I smiled, rubbing her bud with the tip of my nose. She didn’t usually say god. She said gosh or goodness. I’d laughed my ass off when she’d let a golly gee slip once.
She said god when I had my mouth on her.
Wanting to see her bare, I leaned back and tugged at her panties, pulling them down her hips. As soon as I got them to her knees, she kicked them off and sent them shooting to the floor.
“Be patient.” I chuckled.
She shook her head. “You’re killing me here.”
“Well, we can’t have that.” With a firm grip on her knees, I pressed her thighs apart, then dove in. My tongue found her hot and sweet center. I worked up and down her slit, lapping her up, though I avoided her clit to make it last. She was so responsive, especially when I gave her a hard suck. But tonight when she came, it was going to be around me.
Damn, I was glad she’d pushed for this. I needed to sink inside her soon and shred the remaining barrier between us.
As she moaned my name again, I realized she’d been right. We didn’t need anything other than us to make this special.
Taking her to a fancy hotel could have made her uncomfortable. It was better here, in her own bed and her own space. She could be as loud as she wanted. She could cry if it hurt.