I think he got his rocks off when he landed a good punch or two. And since it was boxing practice, something to teach us respect and discipline and give us a physical challenge—such bullshit—teachers and social workers overlooked the bruises.
When I finally learned to fight well enough to land him on his ass, I let him win instead. I stroked the asshole’s ego and put up with the lack of food and four kids per bedroom all because I couldn’t risk getting thrown out of their house and sent away from Hazel and Thea.
“I was sitting at the table doing my homework when Thea came into the kitchen at the orphanage,” I told Willa. “I recognized her from school, but we’d never talked before. She hugged Hazel, got out her own schoolwork and sat next to me until dinner. Then I split my Snickers with her. We’ve been friends ever since.”
Willa gave me a small smile. “I’m glad you found them.”
“Me too.” I squeezed her hand.
They were my only family.
Hazel had been the person who made sure my homework was done. She’d been the one to feed me when I was hungry. If not for her and that orphanage, who knew where I’d be? Jail, probably.
Willa’s face turned to the side window and she watched the lake through the trees as they streaked past. Her mood darkened, changing the atmosphere in the truck. The air got heavy, weighing down on my shoulders as my heart beat even louder.
I shouldn’t have shared all that. What was wrong with me? My history was too serious for a first date.
Not ten minutes from town and I was fucking this up already.
Willa wiggled her fingers and I let go of her hand. It killed me that she needed some space.
I opened my mouth to apologize but stopped when Willa turned and flipped up the console. Then she unbuckled her seat belt and slid into the middle seat.
My arm automatically went behind her shoulders as she dove into my side. One of her arms wrapped around my waist and the other slipped behind my back.
Then she hugged me.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
I dropped my cheek to the top of her hair. “It’s okay. It all worked out.”
Somehow, her arms got tighter.
“As much as I like this, I don’t want you unbuckled.”
“One more second.” She squeezed me again, then slipped her arms free.
I figured she’d slide back to the passenger seat, but she didn’t. She just let me go and dug out the lap belt that had fallen between the seats. She strapped it on and smiled before looking back down the road.
This bench seat? It was my new favorite feature of my truck. Thank god I hadn’t gone for buckets.
The heavy air disappeared and I relaxed into my seat. The smell of Willa’s coconut-and-vanilla hair infused the cab, smelling far better than the blue tree freshener I’d tucked under the backseat.
With every mile, I felt lighter. Years of baggage got smaller and smaller in my rearview mirror. Unloading my past to Willa had been freeing. And though my past had been hard, I couldn’t regret it. That road had led me here, to Lark Cove and to her.
“Can I ask you something?” she asked.
“Sure.” My hand went to her knee.
“Do you ever think about finding your mom?”
“No,” I said immediately. “She’s dead to me.”
“Okay.” Just like before, I waited. But she said nothing.
“That’s it?”
She giggled again. “Yeah. That’s it.”
“You’re not going to try and convince me otherwise? Both Thea and Hazel think it would be good to find out where she’d disappeared to all those years ago. They think it will give me closure.”
“If she’s dead to you, then she’s dead to me. That’s it.”
I eyed her profile, amazed that she was on my page. My tires thudded against the rumble strip as we drifted toward the shoulder.
“Watch the road, Jackson,” she said. “I’m starving, and crashing into a tree would put a dent in our dinner plans.”
Grinning, I turned my eyes back to the highway. “Well, we can’t have that, Willow.”
She flinched, her gasp much louder this time. With her mouth hanging open, Willa turned and gaped at my profile.
I chuckled. “What? Too soon to joke about the name thing?”
Her mouth snapped closed and she pursed her lips. The corners didn’t want to stay flat, even though she tried.
“Jerkface.” She shoved her elbow into my ribs, then giggled.
With that, the seriousness of our conversation disappeared. Willa stayed tucked into my side as we drove down the road to dinner, talking about everything light and airy. By the time we’d both scarfed down two huge ribeyes and made it back to Lark Cove, I knew one thing: I’d never have a better date in my life.
And when the time came, it was going to be damn hard to walk away from this woman.
Be bold.
That was my new motto.
Or at least it had been my motto for the last two minutes.
Jackson and I had arguably the best date of all time. He took me to a nice restaurant in Kalispell, a steakhouse I’d only been to once before with my parents. When I ordered the largest ribeye with sautéed mushrooms, a loaded baked potato and a side salad, Jackson didn’t even blink. He just grinned at the waitress and ordered the same.
Then we laughed. We talked—maybe more than I’d ever talked during a meal. Jackson wanted to know all about growing up in Lark Cove and my experiences in college. I wanted to know about funny stories from the bar. Hardly a moment went by where one of us wasn’t telling the other a story.
I may have watched Jackson from a distance for years, but tonight, I’d really gotten to know him. And everything I’d learned made me crave more.
“I had fun tonight,” he said as he escorted me up my staircase.
“I had fun too.” At the top step, I glanced over my shoulder. Be bold. “Would you like to come in?”
“Sure.”
I smiled, excitement bubbling in my belly as I unlocked the door. “Shoot.” I turned abruptly just inside the door. “My car is still at the camp.”
Jackson put his hands on my shoulders and spun me back around, urging me inside. “I’ll come get you in the morning and take you to work.”
Or you can just sleep here.
If I was really being bold, I would have said that out loud, but I guess I needed more practice. Still, the thought of Jackson in my apartment again sent a rush of nervous energy to my insides.
Was tonight the night I’d go all the way?
The thought of losing my virginity didn’t scare me—much. My fingers fumbled with the clasp on my pink clutch as we entered my loft. What would it feel like? Would it hurt? Would Jackson like it?
I glanced up at Jackson as I led him toward the couch. I really want him to like it.
More than anything else, I was nervous I wouldn’t be good at sex for Jackson. It was guaranteed I’d be awkward, there was no escaping the first-time jitters. But I was more anxious about Jackson’s reaction than I was for myself.
He’d take care of me. I just wanted to take care of him too.
My mouth was full of cotton; anxiety had parched me dry. So instead of going to the couch with Jackson, I turned for the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?”
“I’m okay. Thanks.” He crouched as he approached the wall, ducking so he wouldn’t hit his head before sinking into the couch.
“I’m just going to . . .” I pointed to the kitchen, then followed my finger.
Hurrying to the cupboard with the glasses, I took one out, filled it from the tap and chugged it in three hard gulps. Then I set it in the sink and took a deep breath as I looked out the kitchen window.
Be bold.
I could do this.
I left the kitchen and took a seat next to Jackson. A silence settled over the room as my shoulder pressed into his arm, but neither of us moved. Neither of us said a word. Though we were both breathing harder than normal.
Should I touch him? Maybe stroke his leg or something?
My hands wouldn’t move off my lap.
Be bold.
I could kiss him. I bet he’d really be surprised if I swung up and straddled his lap. Except in this dress, there’d be no swinging or straddling. And dress issues aside, I probably wouldn’t have done it anyway.
“I can hear the gears turning, Willa. What’s going on in your mind?”
“Nothing.” I stared at my lap. “I, um . . .”
Be bold. For once in your life, be bold.
I took a deep breath, then blurted, “Doyouwannastaythenight?”