I swallow hard. “I did.”
He stands up, gets out of the tub, looks at the camera like he forgot it was there, then grabs it and walks out, trailing a puddle of water on the floor behind him.
“Damn, Blue,” JD says. “That was a pretty stupid idea.”
“I realize that now. I mean I realized that back then, too. It took me about five minutes to understand I fucked up in a major way.”
“So where did the brand come from?”
“I… I… I joined up.”
“You joined?” Ark peeks his head into the bathroom as he buttons up one of those white dress shirts. He’s already got jeans on. Like he’s going somewhere. “Now why the fuck would you do that?”
I shrug my shoulders and look up at him. He’s so angry. Why is he so angry? And then he disappears and then reappears pulling on his boots.
“I don’t know, you guys. It was like they brainwashed me or something. I became… Are you going somewhere?” I ask Ark. Because he’s got his boots on and there’s a leather jacket in his hand.
“Yeah, we’re going somewhere. You’re gonna show me where the fuck it was they had you.”
“I don’t know that.”
“You do know, Blue.” He snarls this at me. “You do know. And I’m not playing here, I want you to show us.”
“I don’t know! They blindfolded me and kept me in a basement or something. The other day, when you found me, I was at some special party that night. They drugged me before they took me out of the basement. So when I escaped, I didn’t understand where I was. I have no idea where they are. I have no idea who they are. The only face I ever saw was my husband’s.”
“Your husband?” They say this at the same time.
“It was never legal. I had a fake name. So he’s not my real—”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I jump at Ark’s shout again.
“Shhh,” JD says behind me. “He’s not gonna hurt you, Blue. He’s just pissed off that you didn’t say something earlier.”
“Why would I tell you guys? You’re porn scum! Why is this my fault all of a sudden? Why do you care so much?”
Ark stomps into the bathroom and looms over me, making me tip my head up to look him in the eye. I feel more vulnerable here, sitting in this tub with JD’s arms around me and Ark’s disapproval, than I have ever felt in my life. Even after all the shit I’ve been through in the past year. “Listen to me, Blue. These are the people who killed JD’s girl. That brand was their brand. They killed his girl and stole his kid. That’s why we’re so fucking interested. OK? So you’re gonna get your ass up and—”
“No,” JD says. He stands up, bringing me with him, and looks Ark in the face. “Just stop, OK? Fuck this shit. I don’t want to hear any of it. I can’t do it again. I can’t let this shit take over my life again. I can’t.” And then his embrace evaporates and he steps out of the tub and walks out.
Ark and I stand there. Staring each other in the eyes.
I’m naked.
I’m bared to him.
I’ve been stripped down to nothing.
“How long?”
“Huh?” I feign ignorance.
“Don’t,” he says in a low voice. “Just stop pretending you’re ignorant, or stupid, or whatever it is you’re trying to make us think. Because it won’t work. How. Fucking. Long?”
“Fifteen months.”
“You’ve been missing for fifteen months?”
I nod.
“And no one missed you?”
“Oh, they missed me all right. My father was a Canadian premier for ten years and he’s been the ambassador in DC for four.”
Ark reaches out, grabs my shoulders, and stares into my eyes. “Oh my God. You’re Zoey Marshall. I knew I recognized you from somewhere.”
The tears spring to life and before I can stop them, they are streaming down my face. It’s been so long since someone called me by my real name. Way too long.
“I’m sorry,” he says, taking my hand and urging me to step out of the tub. I stand there on the bath rug and then he wraps a towel around me, pulling me into his chest in a protective embrace. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Blue and I stare at each other for a few seconds. She looks like her world just fell apart. But then the front door slams so hard the artwork in the foyer shakes on the walls.
I walk to the bathroom entrance and stare at my bedroom doorway.
“Are you gonna go after him?”
I look back at Blue. “No. I can’t do this again either. I spent the better part of two years making sure he didn’t do anything stupid. And you know what? I love him like a brother. I do. But I can’t fight this battle for him. If he wants to go off looking for those people alone, there’s nothing I can do.”
And it’s true. You can’t save people from themselves.
Blue pushes past me and runs down the hallway. I follow her. When I get to the foyer, she’s standing there in her towel, soaking wet, holding the door open.
“He’s gone,” she says, the sadness in her voice clear. “If anything bad happens it will be my fault.”
“Don’t be stupid. He’s a grown man, for fuck’s sake. He can—”
“You say you care?” she yells. “Then go after him!”
“You go after him. He likes you. He’ll listen to you just as much as he will me.”
She looks out at the hallway again. Will she go? I mean, she needs clothes, obviously. But she’s been making do with JD’s sweats and t-shirts all week.
But no. She closes the door with a sigh. “I can’t.”
“Can’t?” I sneer. “More like you won’t. I’m not buying this whole afraid-to-leave-the-apartment bullshit.”
She walks off towards JD’s room. I follow again, and when I get there she’s searching for something to wear. She pulls on a pair of JD’s boxers and a summer t-shirt.
“So obviously you’re not going after him.”
“I can’t leave. If they see me—”