My jaw unhinged. “Seriously? I’m right here, Minka.”
“Nice try.” Kami slid behind her desk and rested her boots on the edge. “I don’t know anything about what happened there and neither does London.”
A monstrous creature loped into view. Briar unhooked Trio’s leash and patted the middle head. “Such a good girl.”
Three tongues dropped to the sides of their respective mouths.
“Does she really need to be on a leash?” I asked.
“Yes.” Briar hung the leash on a hook on the wall. “We don’t all have your wrangling skills and I don’t want to be responsible for anything happening to her.”
Briar Niall had a heart of gold and who was I to challenge it? I’d say it was because, as a shapeshifter with the ability to morph into monstrous creatures, she felt a kinship with the dog—except Briar’s tenderness extended to children and inanimate objects. She still slept with the same teddy bear she’d snuggled since infancy. I feared the day that teddy bear lost its stuffing. Briar would lose her mind.
“The dog’s eating too much,” Minka complained. “She needs to be put on a diet.”
“Don’t body shame her,” Briar objected.
I cast a critical eye at the dog. “She looks the same to me. A bit meatier, but considering she was half starved when I met her, that’s a good thing.”
Ione Sheehan hurried into the open-plan office, her cheeks flushed. “The next time a client hires us to remove a troublesome flock of magpies, please give the job to someone else.”
Kami smirked. “Why? What happened?”
Ione flopped into her chair. “You don’t want to know.”
“Actually I do.” Kami swung her feet to the floor and leaned forward intently. “I had a rough night, Ione. Throw me a bone.”
“Fine.” Ione leaned her elbows on the desk and rubbed her face. “Mrs. Alden asked us to take care of her bird problem, which turned out to be the wrong number of magpies making an appearance on her fence.”
“The wrong number?” Briar queried. “You mean she’s missing one?”
Ione shook her head. “You know the old nursery rhyme—one for sorrow, two for mirth, three for a funeral, four for a birth.”
Minka frowned. “I thought it was two for joy and then five for heaven, six for hell, seven for the devil, his own self.”
Ione sighed. “According to Mrs. Alden, there are typically an even number of magpies on her fence, but last week they were only showing up in odd numbers.”
I bit back a smile. “And an odd number of magpies is bad?”
“Very bad,” Ione confirmed. Tall and slender with light brown hair tied in a knot at the base of her neck, the earth witch looked more like someone ready to lead a classroom of children in song than a knight ready to take down a monster with a bow and arrow.
“Especially one single magpie,” Minka chimed in.
“She insisted one of her neighbors was trying to curse her and asked me to find out which one to put a stop to it,” Ione continued.
Kami slotted her fingers together and cradled the back of her head. “So? Was she right?”
Ione opened a canteen of water and drank greedily. Then she wiped her mouth and said, “She was, as a matter of fact.”
Kami’s mouth formed a small ‘o’. “Plot twist! I thought for sure it was just going to be due to magpie migration.”
Ione took another swig from the canteen. “I found a cage full of magpies in her neighbor’s shed. Apparently every time more than one appeared on the fence, the neighbor would snatch it and lock it in the cage so there’d only be one.”
“One for sorrow.” Kami whistled. “Did the neighbor say why?”
“He said Mrs. Alden had stolen his curry recipe and claimed it as her own during the neighborhood curry competition. She won first prize. When he confronted her, she denied it.”
Kami choked back laughter. “And this was his revenge? Combat by magpie?”
“It seemed to work,” Ione said, shrugging. “She was upset enough to hire me.”
“Please tell me you set those poor magpies free.” Briar leaned down and rubbed Trio’s exposed belly. The monstrous dog looked ridiculous with her legs splayed and her three heads bobbing.
“Of course. And I told Mrs. Alden the truth.” Ione stared vacantly at the wall. “Great goddess. I really hope our new neighbors are nice.”
Briar perked up. “New neighbors?”
“Neera and I are moving into our new flat this week, remember? Once we’ve got furniture for you to sit on, we’ll have everyone over for a party.”
“Where is it again?” If she mentioned it before, I’d forgotten. It would be nice to have knights who lived closer to me. We seemed to be scattered throughout the city, which was one reason we met up at The Crown after work. Location, location, location.
“Near Paddington,” Ione said. “I wouldn’t have minded staying in our same flat, but ever since the tribute center opened at the end of the block, the street’s been teeming with vampires.” She shuddered. “When we realized the lease was coming to an end, we decided to take the leap.”
As vampires’ low-hanging fruit, humans were required to register as blood donors for their local tribute center. Like jury duty, it was set up as a lottery system, except not all donors survived the ordeal. Supernaturals were exempt. Vampires had better uses for magic users, like keeping plants alive and protecting the territory from invaders.
“The centers should all be on the outskirts of the city,” Minka said.
Kami batted her eyelashes in a mock innocent fashion. “But then how can our vampire overlords remind us they’re in charge? Part of the intimidation factor is having the centers smack in the middle of every bustling neighborhood.” She delivered the Latham report to my desk for me to co-sign.
Ione squirmed. “When you see them all standing in the queue…It makes me queasy.”
I scanned the report, signed it, and handed it back to Kami. “Tribute centers are better than the alternative.” Before the tribute centers were established, vampires were free to feed on anybody they encountered. People lived in constant fear.
“Did your boyfriend tell you that?” Kami asked. “Speaking of the Demon of House Duncan, has he invited you to participate in any Britannia Day events tomorrow?”
I narrowed my eyes at her.
Minka straightened in her chair, adopting the tone of a lecturer. “I highly doubt Prince Callan would participate in festivities that celebrated his handover to House Lewis. If it weren’t for Queen Britannia, he’d still be in Scotland with his family instead of a hostage to House Lewis.”
“Not necessarily,” Kami argued. “If House Duncan had won the Battle of Britannia, Callan still might’ve ended up here, just as the future king instead of a hostage.” She dropped the completed report on Minka’s desk and winked. “Don’t say I never gave you anything.”
Minka glowered in return. “Don’t you have somewhere you need to be?”
“She does, in fact,” a familiar voice said.
Multiple heads swiveled to the entrance where Simon stood. He twisted a hat in his hands.
“Hey, Simon,” I said. “How are you holding up?”