Waiting for Denny and his girlfriend to get here was a painstaking exercise in the art of patience. I tried to let time flow as naturally as possible, but there were moments when I literally stared at the clock and willed the hours to surge forward. But nothing helped, and every day seemed to be more sluggish than the last. I thought the anticipation of his arrival would make a blood vessel burst in my brain before he got here. Wouldn’t that be poetic?
I was really excited for Denny to hear my band. That was probably because he was the reason I’d started a band in the first place. Normally, my parents never would have agreed to let me do something like that, but after Dad had inadvertently slugged Denny, he was a lot more agreeable; in an effort to keep Denny happy so he’d keep quiet, I don’t think there was anything Dad would have denied him.
Denny had always been fascinated by my ability to play and sing, and he’d always pushed me to use it. “You have God-given talent,” he’d say. “Not doing anything with it would be a waste.” When he’d found out that our school was having local bands play junior prom instead of hiring a DJ, he’d urged me to put a group together, and had even cleared it with my father.
Not only had Denny been a bright spot in my past, he had unknowingly given direction to my otherwise meaningless life. He’d set the mold for my future, and I would do just about anything to return the favor.
I was whistling when I walked into Pete’s that Friday night. Jenny gave me a look that clearly said, What’s with all the joy? I shrugged. “It’s Friday. TGIF.”
Jenny laughed at my answer, her blond ponytail bouncing around her shoulders. Leaving her, I walked over to Sam, the bouncer at the bar. Stretching out my hand, I showed him my spare house key. His brows bunched together and his lips compressed. “We moving in together? You’re great and all, Kellan, but I like living on my own.” His voice was deep, husky, and perfectly matched his absurdly large muscles. I swear the man’s biceps were as large as my skull, and I wasn’t sure how it was physically possible, but he had no neck whatsoever.
Chuckling, I shook my head. “Denny’s coming in tonight. I’ll probably be onstage. Will you give him this for me?” Denny and Sam had been in the same grade during high school, and the three of us had hung out a lot while Denny had been here. As soon as Denny had called me about a room, I’d told Sam.
His huge fist closed around the shiny metal. “Sure thing,” he gruffed, shoving the key into his pocket.
“Thanks!” Clapping him on the shoulder, I turned and headed toward my table.
Evan and Matt were already there. Griffin was having a conversation with Traci near the bar. And by conversation, I mean Traci was rapidly telling him something while he blinked with a dumbfounded, confused expression on his face. Matt watched Griffin with a smirk on his lips while Evan cuddled with Brooke. I guess she’d said yes when he asked her out. Well good, that should make him happy for a bit.
Two seconds after I sat down, two girls approached me. Pulling chairs in so they were on either side of me, they spoke at almost the same time. “Kellan Kyle! We love your music!”
Their eyes were darting over my face and body, and I wondered if they meant what they’d just said. As courteously as I could, I replied, “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
Both girls feverishly flirted with me until it was time to go onstage. I was certain I could go on a date with either one of them, if I wanted. Maybe both, if they were up for it. I didn’t ask though; my mind was other places. Denny would be here soon.
When it was time for us to go play, a familiar feeling washed over me—anxiousness mixed with peace. As I walked up the steps to the stage worn with use, I felt the remnants of who I was melting off me. Onstage, none of my worries touched me. It was like I was a different person. Like I was acting, and yet I was being more truthful than I ever was off the stage. I bled my heart out while I was performing, not that many people truly noticed; they were too busy enjoying the showmanship to dig beneath the surface of the words. There was safety in the scrutiny, anonymity in the spotlight. I felt invincible up there. Just me and my guitar.
Behind me was the coolest backdrop of any stage I’d been on to date. The wall was pitch-black, and covered with old guitars in every shape, size, and model you could think of. None of them held a candle to my simple acoustic instrument though. Sometimes the most beautiful things in the world were overlooked because of their flashier counterparts. I preferred quiet beauty.
As I gripped the microphone stand, I shifted my gaze out in front of me. Ear-splitting screams blended into one giant wall of sound. Girls of every race, age, and size were jockeying for position in front of my feet. I smiled down at them with an expression that was as much encouragement as it was a come-on. They ate it up, jumping and waving their hands so I’d notice them. I lifted my eyes to take in the crowd farther back from the stage. Clumps of people surrounded the various tables. The bar was packed. Good. I liked playing to a full house.
“Evenin’, Seattle,” I murmured into the microphone.
The girls right in front of the stage started shrieking again. One of them to the left of me slumped like she was fainting. Luckily one of her friends caught her and helped her to her feet; I’d hate to be the cause of someone getting seriously injured.
“Everybody doing okay tonight?” I asked while Matt, Griffin, and Evan got situated. There was a flurry of answers from the bar, most of them of a positive nature. I glanced at my bandmates, saw that they were settled and ready, and turned my attention back to the crowd. “Let’s get this party started then!”
I pointed behind me to Evan. He took my cue and began the first song on our set list. A hard, driving beat filled the bar, and I lost myself to the rhythm. Matt and Griffin joined in for their parts, and then I joined in for mine. The girls near me went crazy. I played with them, flirted a little, made each and every one of them feel like I was anxious to meet up with her later tonight. I wasn’t going to, not tonight anyway, but what harm did it do to make them believe that? Everyone wanted a little fantasy in their life.
Throughout our set, I kept one eye on the doors for Denny. He should be showing up any time. I wondered if he’d look the same—unruly dark hair that stuck up everywhere; short, skinny frame. I wondered what his girlfriend looked like. I kept picturing her as a petite blond thing for some reason.
The song we were singing was a fan favorite, and everywhere I looked people were singing along. I focused in on the group in front of me. Propping a foot up on a speaker, I leaned out into the crowd, letting them touch me. It was complete mayhem, but the way they grinned made me smile. It was nice to be able to make people happy, even if it was for a really strange reason.
I was suggestively running my hand down my body when I felt something. It was the oddest sensation I’d ever felt, like lightning was about to strike and the air was charged with static electricity; even though it was warm in the bar, my skin was pebbled with goose bumps. I kept the majority of my attention on the girls clamoring for me to notice them, but I lifted my eyes to the doors.
There was a girl being led into the bar. Whoever was with her was weaving her through the packed crowd. I couldn’t see the person in the lead at all, and was only catching glimpses of the mystery woman, but it was enough. I saw hundreds of girls every night, some plain, some beautiful enough to be highly sought-after cover models, but this girl…even seeing her through a crowd, there was something about her that sang to me. It nearly stopped me in my tracks. Mentally, at least. I was having difficulty getting the right words to come out of my mouth. I was sure I’d said those last two lines completely wrong.
It was almost like I’d been punched in the gut. My breath felt strained, and I was getting sort of light-headed. What was it about her that affected me so much? I didn’t entirely know, and it freaked me out. She was studying the band as I discreetly studied her, and from what I could see of her expression, she didn’t seem overly thrilled with us. I wondered why.
Wavy brown hair bounced along her shoulder blades as she walked through my field of vision. It was hard to clearly make her out with the space and bodies between us, but I saw long legs under her jean shorts; they seemed to go on forever. And she was wearing a tight shirt that highlighted her small, perky breasts. The light yellow fabric almost reached her waistline, and the thin band of skin around her middle showcased her trim stomach in a classy but tantalizing way. She was long and lean like she was a runner, like me. I wondered if we had that in common. Then I wondered what else we had in common. Blue eyes? A love of music? An almost debilitating need to never be alone?
I wanted to keep covertly staring at her all night long, but I couldn’t let this odd, overwhelming sensation of attraction distract me from the fans. I had a job to do, after all. I dropped my eyes to my girls and gave them all of my gyrating, teasing attention as I tempted them with my voice and my body. Whoever this random woman was, I’d probably never see her after tonight. And if I was going to meet her at all, it would have to be after our gig. There was no need to fixate on her now.
Even still, I couldn’t resist a peek, and I again shifted my eyes to take her in. Oddly, she and the person she was with, who I could now see was a guy, were talking to Sam against the far wall. Sam seemed happy to be talking with the pair. Sam rarely looked that way at work, especially on a night when the bar was jam-packed full of people. Or potential problems, as he liked to call them. But he was smiling. He even reached out and gave the guy a hug. That was when it hit me. The guy was Denny. The girl I was instantly attracted to, even from the massive distance between us…was Denny’s girlfriend.
Well, of course she was.
I instantly locked my eyes onto the fans in front of me and amped up my seduction of them. I even reached out to touch a few of them, since they were safe. Denny’s girlfriend was not safe. I could not be having thoughts about her. It was inappropriate on so many levels. I may on occasion have slept with girls who were in committed relationships, because who was I to judge what someone decided to do with their body, but I wouldn’t do that to Denny. He was my brother. My family. The only real family I had in this world, besides my band.
Missing my long-gone friend, I looked up to make eye contact with him. I wanted to make sure he got his key, make sure he was settled, maybe even give him a quick wave, even though I was still singing. I spotted him clutching the girl’s hand, and a smile broke out through my words. Denny looked older, for sure, but he still had that youthfulness about him that made me want to reach out and give him a noogie. The innocence on his face, in his smile, warmed my heart. I’d do anything for this guy. Give my life for him if necessary.
Denny’s girlfriend—Kiera, if I remembered correctly—was gazing up at him like he was the moon and stars to her. I let go of my initial attraction and smiled over their relationship. He was clearly happy with her, and it was obvious they were in love. I pushed back my own desires and only let my happiness for him shine through. I gave him a small wave as the song ended, and he lifted his chin and raised his key to let me know he had it.
Hating to break eye contact with the friend I was itching to catch up with, I quickly glanced at Matt and gave him the okay to start the next song. The job came first, especially when I was onstage. The song Matt started playing was one of my favorites. It was also one of the most painful songs for me. I had written it about my parents. It was sort of my plea for them to love me. Too little. Too late. They never had, and now that they were gone, they never would. I still sang it almost every night though. Hopeless as it was, I couldn’t stop trying to win their affection.
For a moment, I was so lost in the words and the painful memories that everything else faded into the background. Then I found my gaze wandering to Kiera. She was leaving the bar with Denny. She glanced back at me at the last minute though. Lips parted, her expression was awed as she watched me cut open my heart and bleed out all over the stage. Maybe it was the lights, but I could have sworn her eyes were watering, like she understood that this song was painful for me. That I had to fight against my throat constricting with every syllable. That the only reason I could sing it at all was because of endless rehearsals and performances. For the first time in a long time, I was looking at someone who saw me. Not the rock star, not the playboy, but me. The real me. And for the first time in a long time, terror crawled up my spine. Kiera shivered, like she also shared my fear, then she disappeared with Denny.
This girl…she’d already made an impression, and I hadn’t even been introduced to her yet. The three of us all living together could be an incredible, eye-opening experience. Or it could be a living nightmare. Either way, it was definitely going to be interesting.