Teacher’s face fell. She dropped my hands, her ankles cracking as she pulled herself to standing. She glared down her nose at me. “I hope I haven’t misjudged inviting you here. We expect a serious infraction, an admission of true vulnerability. You’re not telling us the whole truth.”
I unzipped Jeremiah’s coat, sweating. How did she know?
She ogled the others, walking the rows again. “Why don’t the rest of you share your own q1 admissions? Reassure Kit she’s not the only imperfect being in the room?”
I struggled to erase the fear from my face. This was my one chance, and already I’d screwed it up. A familiar urge began to build in my fingertips.
Debbie spoke first. “I stole from the diner cash register when I was short on rent.”
Teacher laid a soft hand on Debbie’s back.
“I planted my stash in another employee’s locker so my dad would fire him instead of me,” Sanderson said. Teacher winked at him.
Ruth flushed. “I wrote bad checks to get enough money together to move to Maine.” Teacher nodded her approval. It took all of my self-control to keep my face blank. Ruth, of all people, had committed fraud?
Sofia began to speak, but Teacher held up her hand, shifted her focus to me. The urge to pull, to yank, zipped through my forearms toward my shoulders. Not now. One of the desks creaked as someone moved in their seat.
I ducked my chin. “You’re right—I was holding back. The thing I didn’t say before is that while driving drunk”—I sucked in a breath—“I had a crash.”
Teacher’s expression darkened. “You mock the principles we stand for.” She leaned in, lowered her voice so only I could hear. “These early quests are about building camaraderie too. If you act like you’re a saint, better than the rest of them, that’s hardly going to bring you closer, is it?” The urge rushed up my neck, wrapped itself like a vise around my throat. Teacher backed away again, gestured to Sofia to continue.
The doctor jiggled her leg so hard her entire body wobbled. “Each time my daughter went missing, I was desperate.” When her voice wavered, Teacher was at her side in an instant. She pulled a pack of tissues from her pocket and handed one to Sofia, then nuzzled her lips to the distraught woman’s ear. Sofia listened, squared her shoulders. “I wrote Oxycontin prescriptions for Rosa’s junkie friends so they’d tell me which drug den she was hiding out in.”
I nibbled at the inside of my lip until I drew blood, the tang of iron a relief. Rain battered the roof. Teacher pulled Sofia in for a hug, then turned her scrutiny to Jeremiah.
His voice shook when he spoke. “I cooked the books at work.”
I gaped at my friend as his face drained of color. He wouldn’t meet my eye, was busy watching Teacher’s pained expression. She made a fist of strength, patted him on the shoulder. He nodded and sat up taller.
“Boohoo, you buncha small potatoes,” Raeanne said, folding her hands behind her head and leaning back in her seat. “I killed two men.”
I did a double take. This was the wildest transgression of all, yet I had little trouble imagining it. Was it true? Had she? Teacher stopped in front of Raeanne’s desk. She rested her palm on her own chest for a moment before moving it to Raeanne’s. I couldn’t see Teacher’s face but knew by the shine in Raeanne’s eyes that Teacher must’ve been beaming at her. I longed for that wholehearted approval.
Still gazing at Raeanne, Teacher said, “I’ll give you one more chance, Katharine. If you want to join this group, you need to give us an admission worthy of entry. No more wasting our time.”
My heart pounded. Sweat trickled down my hairline. My chest felt like it was breaking out in hives. What was this supposed to resolve, again? I had lost the thread. Maybe what we were doing was wrong.
But we had an accomplished doctor and a CPA among our numbers, and they saw nothing wrong with the process. Fraud aside, Ruth was one of the kindest, most decent people I’d ever met, and she wasn’t alarmed. If Wisewood was off, the rest of them wouldn’t have stuck around, dedicating five or six years of their lives to this place. I shook my head, trying to focus. Teacher had warned me about thoughts like these.
I scooted forward on my chair, palms leaving sweat prints on the desk. Rain poured down the windows.
“I crashed because I hit something.” I put my head in my hands, dizzy. “Someone.”
The bodies in the desks leaned forward hungrily.
“I didn’t go back to check . . .” I trailed off. A deer had run out of the woods across a poorly lit road. I hadn’t seen it until it was too late. The ordeal had lasted seconds, the animal limping back into the woods before I’d stopped my car from spinning. I’d clipped a deer, not a person.
Hadn’t I?
A grin spread slowly across Teacher’s face as she made her way toward me. Guilt gave way to relief. “Kit,” Teacher said, tousling my hair, “you are now one step closer to your Maximized Self.”
The room erupted in applause. I felt nauseous.
“What about you, Gordon?” Raeanne said when the cheers had died down. “Always behind the camera, never in front.” She stole a nervous glance at Teacher.
Gordon, who hadn’t moved an inch since he’d leaned against the chalkboard, now cleared his throat. “This is Kit’s q1, not mine.”
“Everyone else shared,” Raeanne said.
“I answer to Teacher, not you.”
Teacher tilted her head. “Do you think you’re better than the rest of them?”
For the first time since I’d arrived at Wisewood, surprise—and pain—crossed Gordon’s face. He stepped in front of the phone, speaking directly to the camera. “The worst thing I’ve ever done is provoke an enemy at work who later murdered my wife and son while they were asleep in their beds.”
A few people gasped, everyone but Teacher shocked. With complete control, Gordon removed the phone from the mount, collapsed the tripod, tucked it under his arm, and walked out of the schoolhouse, letting the door bang closed.
“Should we go after him?” Ruth asked Teacher, worried.
Teacher patted Ruth’s arm. “Leave him be.” She returned to the front of the room, began pacing again. “More so than before, you understand the dangers of the outside world. Make our guests—your students—see how stunted their lives were before they came. Remind them they’re much safer here than they ever were out there. When guests leave Wisewood, they do so at their own peril. They return to abuse, abandonment, even death. But when they stay, we can watch over them, bring those with the most promise into the fold. Like we’ve done with Kit.” She softened. “Congratulations on passing your q1, Kitten.”
The applause this time turned into a standing ovation. I blushed, trying to shake off my apprehension. It wasn’t like the recording would ever see the light of day. So what if I’d exaggerated the details—I had completed my q1!
Yet even as I delivered a short thank-you speech, even as the rest of the IC cheered my name, a vague disquiet coursed through me. For the first time in a long time I yearned for my sister.
“One more thing before you join IC ranks,” Teacher said with a wink.
Raeanne grinned and stepped forward with a pair of electric clippers.
34
Natalie
JANUARY 9, 2020