The woolly thing grew over the months. It became a private joke between them. He would ask if it was meant to be a sock, a tunic, a cloak. Her answer was always the same: “You’ll like it, you’ll see.”
One night, in the warlord’s tent, long after he’d stopped ordering her hands to be bound, he gazed upon her. “Do you know which battle comes tomorrow?”
“Yes,” Jadis said. The warlord planned to strike at the heart of Valoria. He would likely succeed.
“You must hate me for it.”
“No.”
The word brought tears to his eyes. He wanted to weep against her skin. He did not believe her.
“My love,” she said, “I have almost finished your present. Let me knit it here beside you. It will bring you luck in battle.”
That made him laugh, for he couldn’t possibly imagine how she expected him to wear that ugly, lumpy mass of wool. He was cheered as he remembered how dedicated she was to her hapless knitting. So what if she had no skill for it? It was proof of her devotion to him.
He went to the tent’s opening and called for her knitting basket.
He set it beside the bed and enjoyed her again. Afterward, she knitted beside him. The warlord was made sleepy by the needles’ quiet chatter. “Aren’t you finished yet?” he teased.
“Yes. Just now I’ve finished.”
“But what is it?”
“Don’t you see? Don’t you like it? Look closely, my love.”
He did, and Jadis stabbed her needles into his throat.
The coin lay heavy on Kestrel’s palm. All the breath had gone out of her.
The emperor said, “We were talking earlier about your captivity under Arin.”
“It wasn’t like this.” She tightened her fingers around the coin. “I’m no Jadis.”
“No? The governor, I hear, is an attractive man.”
“I didn’t think so.” She hadn’t, not at first. How miserable that she hadn’t seen Arin for what he was, how worse when she did understand it, and how perfectly awful now, when he was lost to her and the emperor was asking for her secrets. “He was never my lover. Never.”
That much was true. The sound of her voice must have convinced the emperor, or the way she clutched the coin. His response came gently: “I believe you. But what if I didn’t? Would it matter if the slave had shared your bed? Oh, Kestrel. Don’t look at me with such shock. Do you think that I’m a prude? I’ve heard the rumors. Everyone has.” He stood, and came near to tap the fist she had closed around the coin. “That’s why you need Jadis. This is a gift. If the capital thinks you favored the governor of Herran, let them think that it was for a purpose.
“You made a choice when you stood before me and pleaded for Herrani independence. You chose my son. You chose my cause.” He shrugged. “I’m a pragmatist. I had no desire to mire myself in a battle with Herran when the east beckons. Your solution—Herran’s new status as an independent territory of the empire—has been politically costly in some ways … but valuable in others. And militarily necessary. An added benefit? The military loves me now that its general’s daughter will marry my son.
“I think we understand each other, don’t we? I get a daughter intelligent enough to manage the empire one day, and in the meanwhile I can count on the goodwill of her father’s soldiers. You get a crown and absolution from any past … indiscretions.”
Kestrel lowered her hand, fist loose, but not loose enough to let the coin slip.
“Your dagger, please, Kestrel.” He held out his palm.
“What?”
“Give me your dagger.” When she still didn’t move, he said. “It’s too plain. My son’s bride must have something finer.”
“My father gave it to me.”
“Won’t I be your father, too?”
The emperor had just made it impossible for Kestrel to refuse without offending him. She drew the dagger, which she cherished. She pressed her thumb once against the ruby set into the dagger’s hilt and carved with her seal: the talons of a bird of prey. She pressed hard enough for it to hurt. Then she gave her weapon to the emperor.
He placed it in the drawer that had held the coin and pushed it shut. He regarded Kestrel, his own dagger gleaming at his hip. He touched the golden line on her brow that marked her as an engaged woman. “I have your loyalty to the empire, don’t I?”
“Of course.” She tried to ignore the weightlessness of her scabbard.
“Good. And what’s past is past, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
The emperor seemed satisfied. “There will be no hint of any sympathy you might have toward Herran—or its governor. If you have any, rub it out. If you don’t, you won’t like the consequences. Do you understand?”
She did. Kestrel saw now that the emperor hadn’t intended her visit to the prison to be a mere test or lesson. It had been a warning of what came to those who crossed him.