“Yo! Josie!” I heard Jake call.
It was early afternoon the next day and I was in the light room looking for a recorder.
“Light room!” I yelled, shuffling through the detritus in Gran’s desk and deciding that tomorrow I would tackle it and organize it.
I’d need to do that since I had not only managed to make appointments with the two interior designers that had businesses in the county, I had phoned New York and began negotiations to take the job with the up-and-coming designer. He was considering once every six weeks visits from me for a week so I could take meetings as well as very limited travel for runway shows and the like.
Thus, if my conditions were accepted, I’d need an organized desk.
I was looking forward to working in the light room, being with Gran as I did it.
So I very much was hoping he’d accept my terms.
“Babe.” I heard Jake say and looked from the desk to the opening of the spiral staircase where he’d appeared.
“Hey, darling,” I replied.
“How’d shit go?” he asked, moving to me at the desk.
“Two appointments with designers, both tomorrow. And I called New York. My conditions are being considered,” I answered, having turned my attention back to what I was doing, still rifling through Gran’s desk.
I felt him stop by the desk as he replied, “Right,” Then he asked, “What are you doing?”
I looked up at him then reached to the desk and took the envelope with the tape in it and gave it to him.
He looked down at the writing before he looked into the envelope I’d opened and his eyes cut to me. “From Lydie?”
“I found it in her safe deposit box,” I shared.
“F*ckin’ hell,” he muttered.
I again focused on the drawer I was going through. “I’m looking for a recorder so I can listen to it.”
I found nothing but heard Jake slide open a drawer to help.
Seconds later, he said, “Here.”
I looked to him to see he had a dictation machine held up in his hand.
And suddenly, I found I couldn’t catch my breath.
“Slick,” Jake called and my eyes lifted to his. His roamed to my face and his voice gentled when he noted, “You can give this time.”
Slowly, I shook my head.
Jake took that in, assessed my expression for long moments then nodded.
I watched as he loaded the tape into the machine and after that, I had no choice but to follow him to the window seat since he’d grabbed hold of my hand and guided me there.
In Jake fashion, he then arranged us in the seat as he wanted us. Jake behind me, his legs up on the seat surrounding me, my back against his front, his arms wrapped around me, cocooning me in his strength, his protection, his safety.
I drew in a deep breath and rested my arms on his at my middle.
“Ready?” he whispered in my ear.
“Yes,” I whispered to the sea.
I heard a click then nothing for long seconds before I heard Gran’s voice.
Josie, my buttercup, she said. If you’re listening to this, I’m gone.
I closed my eyes tight.
And by the time you listen to this, you’ll have met Jake.
I opened my eyes and Jake’s arms pulled me deeper into his body.
I knew the moment I saw him that he was perfect for you. I also knew from the expression on his face when he saw your picture, he knew you were perfect for him too.
Oh God.
I made a noise in the back of my throat as I swallowed the tears clogging there and turned. I wrapped my arms around Jake and pressed my forehead into his neck as I continued to stare at the sea and listen to the beloved voice of my Granny.
It’s likely, by this time, Gran went on, that Arnie’s read my will to you. You’re probably confused and perhaps alarmed. I don’t wish to pain you with this knowledge, but even after your assertions that you were content with your life, I was troubled. I didn’t want you to be content, my buttercup. I wanted you to be happy. So I did what I needed to make you that way. I gave you to Jake and doing it, gave Jake to you.
I pressed my forehead in Jake’s neck.
He’ll make you happy, my precious Josie.
A tear slid down my cheek and, as if sensing it, Jake pulled me even closer.
Now, there are some things you need to know, Gran stated, suddenly sounding all business. Conner, Jake’s eldest, has a tendency to collect girls. I think for boys of his age this is not unusual. But for Conner, I feel it’s something else. He admires his father but he’s very intelligent. I think, watching his father be unlucky in love, he’s searching for the right one. But he’s going about it the wrong way. You need to handle that.
It was then a giggle escaped my throat just as a chuckle rumbled in Jake’s chest.
And he won’t tell you, he prefers filling his body with what he calls proteins and carbs, by that he means is meat and rolls, but he needs vegetables and it took me some time but I found that Conner likes peas.
“Peas,” I whispered, wondering why I hadn’t yet served them and knowing that night, I would.
Amber, Jake’s daughter, Gran continued, is enchanted with an inappropriate young man. She is very sweet but has no idea of her charms. She thinks she’s fortunate to have caught his eye and doesn’t understand it’s the other way around. You need to find a way to communicate that with her and untangle her from that situation. From what she’s told me, this Noah person is unworthy of her but I have not been able to get her to understand this is true. Please see to that, for Amber deserves much better.
A huge smile had spread on my face and I felt Jake’s body shaking with laughter.
Finally, Ethan, Jake’s youngest, well…what is there to say about that darling boy? Not much except he’s a darling boy who needs a mother.
My smile died and Jake stopped laughing.
See to that too, buttercup, Gran ordered. And in doing so, watch his diet. He’s a growing boy and it’s understandable that he’s hungry nearly constantly. But sometimes he overindulges. Put a stop to that, will you?
Warmth spread through me for a variety of reasons when Jake rested his jaw on the top of my head and gathered me ever closer.
I have many things to say about Jake, Gran remarked. But I have a feeling they won’t need to be said. This is because I’ve no doubt Jake will show you all that needs to be said. I just encourage you, my precious girl, to allow him to say them in his way. I promise you…promise you, Josie, you’ll wish to hear them.
I curled my fingers into Jake’s sweater.
My girl, know this and never forget. It’s never too late to reach for happiness and no matter what life has done to you, it’s never too late to find it. Please don’t be offended when I share with you that I know you’ve been hiding. I know why. I understand it, buttercup, but it’s time to come into the light. I’ve found someone special to help guide the way. Please, Josie, take Jake’s hand and let him guide you to happiness.
The tears slid down my cheek and Jake pressed his jaw into my hair.
And last, I love you, Josie. I know the things I just told you are true because I had many things happen in my life, things that would lead me to believe I’d never find anything but contentment at best. But when you entered my life, I found happiness.
My body bucked with my sob and Jake pulled me up so I could shove my face in his neck.
Thank you, buttercup, Gran said softly, for being the light of my life. I treasured you from the moment you were born, to the time I sit here saying these things to you, to the time I take my last breath and I’ll treasure you beyond it. This is because you’re a treasure, my Josie. You always have been and you always will.
My breath hitched with my sob as the tears flowed freely down my cheeks and into the skin of Jake’s neck.
Tell Jake, Conner, Amber and Ethan they held special places in my heart, will you, buttercup? I know it will be sad to know that when you weren’t with me, although I had a full life, I often felt empty. Until I met them and they filled my life with such beauty. Such great beauty.
“Jesus,” Jake murmured, his voice rough.
I knew what that meant and gave him a loving squeeze.
And I know they will do the same for you, Josie, if you let them. Please let them, buttercup.
I drew in a deep breath to control my tears.
It didn’t work.
Good-bye, my precious girl, Gran said and the tears slid faster down my cheeks. I’ll love you always. Forever and completely.
I heard the click, then silence which was broken by the sound of my sob as it filled the room.
I knew Jake put the recorder aside when his arms got even tighter and one hand slid up into my hair, his fingers gliding through it, holding me, stroking me, soothing me.
He held me close for some time. It could have been minutes; it could have been hours before my tears abated.
Then he held me for longer.
My eyes scratchy, my heart hurting, my lips moved.
“She gave me everything,” I told Jake.
“Yeah, baby,” he replied.
“And then she died and she gave it to me again.”
I felt his body give a slight jerk before it settled and he said, “Yeah, Slick, she gave me that too.”
Gran gave Jake that too.
I closed my eyes.
Then I opened them, pulled slightly away and lifted my head to catch my man’s gaze.
“I need to clean up and go pick up Ethan.”
Jake looked into my eyes for long moments.
Then finally, I watched fascinated as his eyes—an unusual stormy gray—changed colors to a beautiful light blue.
And this was when they smiled.