I made myself look down so he wouldn’t see what had to be eighty different unwanted emotions written all over my face.
And maybe Aiden felt as unbalanced as I did because he set the subject back into place, and moved on to a safer one. “I was playing lacrosse before that anyway.”
The rest of the story I was familiar with, and I told it while my gaze was still on the muted beige carpet. “Then Leslie talked you into trying football,” I relayed back to him the information he’d shared with others a hundred times before. According to the story, he’d never played football before and he’d been interested. The rest was history. Except now I knew a fragment of the story I didn’t before—he’d known Leslie for a long time. He’d been his grandfather’s best friend. Leslie believed he’d asked him at the right moment. It had been a split second decision that had changed the entire course of his life.
That summer between grade 10 and 11, he gained twenty pounds of muscle and practiced with Leslie several times a week. By the middle of his last year of high school, several schools in Canada and the U.S. had already begun trying to get in on the Aiden Graves pie. He was a phenomenon. A natural. His talent and hard work was etched so deeply into him, it was impossible to ignore the diamond in the rough.
“Leslie asked me to play for him the day after my grandfather caught me with a girl in his backseat, and told me I needed to find something more productive to do with my time or he would.”
How about that. He really wasn’t a virgin. Huh. My mouth twitched and I raised my gaze up to meet his. “Well, I think it’s really admirable that you only get into fights with people who deserve to get the shit kicked out of them. If no one else ever tells you, it’s really noble. Very superhero-y.”
My comment had the big guy rolling his eyes, uncomfortable with my compliment. Well, he was uncomfortable with every compliment ever hurled his way. I didn’t know why I found it so attractive, and I didn’t really want to, but it was impossible to feel otherwise. How could someone be so arrogant but so humble at the same time?
“I’m not even close to being some kind of hero,” he argued.
A burst of affection filled my chest. “You came to save me last week when I needed you. You can be an off-white knight in shining armor,” I told him before I could think twice about what I was saying.
His chin seemed to jerk back and those irises focused on me. His jaw went tight.
I’d already said enough, and I didn’t want to push too much. At the rate I was going, I’d end up complimenting his butt next. “Okay, I know it’s close to your bedtime, and I just wanted to say thank you for my gift. I’ll wear it with pride, but just don’t tell Zac I left his at home.”
The big guy nodded, standing straight. He shook out his hands at his sides. “Good night, Van.”
I took a step back and grabbed the doorknob, smiling as I closed the door on my way out. “Night, night.”
* * *
Meet me in the family room, the note, written in neat print on the back of a grocery store receipt, read; I’d only been expecting my ticket, not the pass to get me through security that had been inside along with it.
The pass burned as a constant reminder inside my pocket the entire game—a game they lost. I’d kept touching it to make sure it hadn’t fallen out, trying to wrap my head around why he would ask me to meet him afterward. I mean, I’d met him afterward a few times, but it had always been because he needed something from me when I worked for him.
I had to ask a few of the stadium’s employees where to go, because when I used to meet up with Aiden in the past, I would usually drive straight over and go through the entrance allocated for family members.
I wasn’t looking forward to going to the family room, mainly because it would be the first time I’d see everyone since last season. I wouldn’t call any of the wives I’d been friendly with ‘friends,’ but I didn’t think they’d forgotten about me in a year. Back then, I’d been the only woman in Aiden’s life, and for a little while, I’d been ‘the new girl’ because most of them hadn’t been convinced I was his assistant and our relationship was solely a business one.
And now…
Well, now I looked like a lying schmuck when there really hadn’t been anything going on between Aiden and me in the past. But it wasn’t like anyone was going to believe that now, even if I hadn’t seen them since his injury last October.
If I wanted to be honest with myself, I was dreading it a little.
Okay, more than a little.
I had to really reach down into my spine and pump some steel into it, reminding myself that I knew I hadn’t lied to anyone. As long as I knew that, it was all I would need. I was there for Aiden, not anyone else. In my head, I kept repeating those words as I marched through security checkpoint after security checkpoint with my pass and ID in my back pocket ready to get put to good use.
The ‘family room’ was really just a glorified area on the way toward the players’ parking lot, with a few couches and circular tables, clear away from the media. I took my time walking over, but it came too quickly anyway. With one last security check, I raised my chin up high and walked into the room like it was no big deal, like I had nothing to feel bad about.
The room was packed. Packed with kids and women and men of all ages. It was stuffed full of Three Hundreds’ apparel. The first “Oh, honey, congratulations!” smacked me right between the shoulder blades, and while I wasn’t any sort of actress, I didn’t like being a rude asshole when it was me being deceptive.
So I turned around and tried to give the woman talking a bright expression.
What followed was probably one of the most painful thirty minutes I’d ever spent, and that was saying a lot considering my last trip to El Paso had sucked complete ass.
“I am so happy for you!”
“You two are meant for each other!”
“Are you expecting?”
“You have to make sure to always support your man.”
“Make sure to plan the baby for the offseason!”
Meant for each other? My man? A fucking baby?
I wasn’t sure how I didn’t throw up. Honestly. Then there were all the subtle comments about how an NFO player’s wife, especially a player for the Three Hundreds, was supposed to act. The players were supposed to be the center of the universe. Families were preferably not seen and not heard. ‘We’ were the invisible support systems.
I didn’t know a lot about the women, but I knew enough about the guys from the bits and pieces that Zac occasionally shared with me, and only a few of them were impressive. And if a guy was a piece of crap, what was his girlfriend or significant other like?
It was when I was in the middle of thinking about things like that, that I remembered I was married to the person who was considered by many to be the biggest asshole on the team. At least according to what Zac had told me in the past. He wasn’t friendly, much less open, and he put zero effort into establishing friendships with anyone, much less the spouses and families of the people he played alongside with. He’d said it time and time again, he didn’t have time for friendships or relationships.
What did that say about me? I was a lying asshole and a prostitute, depending on how you analyzed the facts.
I was in the middle of trying to lie to one of the vets’ wives that I’d already had a Thanksgiving meal when players began trickling into the room. Apparently, her husband was one of them because she patted my arm almost immediately after peeking over my shoulder. “I’ll have to get your phone number next game. We should get together, babe.”
On top of being an asshole and a prostitute, I was an imposter. Here were these women who were trying to be nice and include me—though a portion of them were those who had turned me off from hanging out in the family box—and here was I. A fake wife. I was a person who would be out of their lives in a few years, if not sooner depending on whatever Aiden decided in the near future.