I absently rub the throbbing behind my breastbone and climb into my nest, graceful for once because the stiffness in my leg is gone. My body is strong. The heat in my veins is powering me, charging me like streaks of purple lightning in an electrical storm. I’m a force. I can sway nature; I know it in my bones.
I kneel in my soft pile and smile at my mate. “Come on, now.”
His eyes flash gold. He crosses the room in a blur, jerking to a halt inches from the foot of the bed. Why did he stop?
I pat the soft pillow next to me.
His shoulders bunch, and he grimaces as if he’s straining against himself.
And then it’s like someone flickers the lights on and off in rapid succession. He’s standing; he’s in mid-motion. His fangs glint; he’s gritting his blunt white teeth. And there’s a terrible sound—a garbled howl that rattles the dresser and the mirror on the wall.
I scramble to the headboard, huddle as small as I can, my power gone. Something’s wrong.
He flip-shifts so quickly I can’t track it. He becomes a blur. His naked body is a mirage.
And then it’s over. He’s standing as a man, panting, hands clenched. Trembling.
I wait a few seconds, but when he stays in human form, I slowly crawl to him. My wolf wants a closer sniff. She needs to know her mate is still in there.
He groans, balling his fists so tightly, all the veins in his arms pop. “You’re gonna make me suffer, aren’t you, shy girl?”
Yes, it’s good that he’s suffering, even though I can’t recall exactly why. My heartbeat’s calming down. The receding fear allows more feelings to flow through me—excitement, satisfaction, an exquisite anticipation.
I’ve never felt this amazing. Neither has my wolf. She’s inhabiting me, melded in my muscle and blood, pure spirit. We’re together in this. We need the same thing.
I lay back, propping myself up on a stack of pillows, and let my knees fall apart.
“Come on, then,” I tell Killian.
“You want this?” His voice is gravelly, torn from his throat.
“Yes. Come now.” I spread my pussy lips so he can see how wet I am for him. So he will come to me. I have no patience left.
He sucks down a ragged breath. “You’re not yourself.”
My wolf growls. My skin is flushing hotter than I can bear, and the pleasant pulsing in my pussy has crossed the line into an ache. He can make me feel better. Why is he just standing there at the end of the bed, staring?
The human can’t be trusted. My wolf howls, calls to her mate.
“You don’t really want this,” Killian says.
I snarl. He won’t come. My wolf knows. The human is not right. But I’m stronger than him. I hold more inside me—the moon, the night, the future. It doesn’t matter if he’s broken. I’m stronger than him.
I roll to all fours and crawl to him, kneeling at the very edge of the bed. Except for the rapid rise and fall of his chest, he’s frozen. His jaw is a knife. I stretch my spine so I can reach it with my mouth, and I taste the harsh line, test the solidity of the bone with my teeth. He remains completely still, but his breath is ragged.
He should be still. I’m dangerous. He has wronged me, and I haven’t decided yet whether he is forgivable or not.
I lick down his slightly salty neck, explore the knot of his Adam’s apple, the ridge of his collar bone. His skin quivers under my tongue. An agonized rumble emanates from deep in his chest.
He suffers. I can taste it on the tip of my tongue.
He should suffer. He should cry alone with thorns stuck in his hide.
I press my heavy breasts to his chest so his hurt is closer to my heart. The grinding of his teeth is sweet in my ear.
I drag my sensitive nipples down his front, and it feels so good. Why do I want to torment him? He has what I want, and he needs to give it to me.
I need to take it.
I explore with my fingertips, my nails. The ridges of his abs. The valley below his hip bones. The hard, flat place above his cock bobbing in the air. Every muscle on his body is taut and straining.
“If I do this when you’re—when you’re not in your right mind, you’ll hate me.” He’s panting.
“I already hate you.” I don’t remember why, but it’s true, although less true than it was even minutes ago. Past wrongs don’t matter. He’s big and fierce. He can protect our young. And he can make me feel good, and that’s what I need.
Everything else is inconsequential.
I wrap my fingers around his throbbing cock. He hisses, abs clenching. I stroke down, let the velvet heat warm my palms. There’s a drop of seed at the tip. I catch it with the fleshy base of my thumb, and then I lift it to my mouth and lick my hand clean.
Killian breaks, tossing me onto my nest, lunging after.
I laugh in victory.
My nest is soft and welcoming. I wiggle to get comfortable. My mate kneels between my legs, hovering over me, fangs extended. His eyes blaze blue and gold.
Is he going to bite me again? I touch the still tender marks on my neck and smile. I want that. He growls, and it doesn’t stop, it rolls on and on like a distant engine, stoking the gentle spasms beginning in my core.
“Who do you belong to?” he snarls.
My lips curl higher. “My mate.”
He grumbles, seizing my wrists and pinning them beside my head. My breasts graze his chest again, my nipples impossibly hard now and unbearably sensitive. Every glancing touch feeds a current surging to my aching pussy, priming it, readying it for his knot. I lift my torso, hunting more sensation, and he snaps, pressing me down to the mattress with his weight.
“Who do you belong to?” he says again, this time so close to my ear his incisor nicks my earlobe.
“My mate,” I moan.
He pushes up on his arms, scowling. He doesn’t like my answer.
“Who?” It has the resonance of an alpha command, but I can’t tell him. His wolf has no name. And the question doesn’t quite make sense. There’s something we’ve forgotten.
He’s not doing this right. I struggle under his weight, nipping at the flesh of his bicep and wriggling my hips until he lets me up. He sits back on his heels. Frustration pours from him.
He runs a hand through his hair. “What do I do to make this right?”
My cheeks are damp. It’s not sweat. It’s tears. I’m frustrated, too. I need, and he’s supposed to do.
“Why do you ask me?” I sob. “I don’t know.”
It’s too much. The air’s too heavy. All the good feelings are twisting and turning and slipping away, and my head is full of wool.
I flop back and close my eyes. Why is this so hard? It always has been, from the second I knew he was mine, but I know deep down it’s not supposed to be.
I plunge my fingers between my legs, finding my slick passage and the swollen nub that begs for attention. It’s not what I want, but what else can I do? There’s no relief from this male, only the stoking of a fire that somehow makes me hungrier, thirstier, and angry. So angry.
“Okay. Okay.” Killian’s talking to himself. I have no patience left for him.
And then his rough fingers slip through my folds, sending a shock of pristine pleasure through my belly. My channel squeezes on air. My clit throbs.