The Tie That Binds

“AH right,” she said. “All right, go then.”


But she wasn’t looking at me. She was watching my dad. It didn’t have anything to do with me anymore—if it ever did.

“Go,” she said. “You may as well get yourself involved in this too. You’re just like him. You don’t care what I think. Why do you bother to ask?”

But she didn’t go back to bed yet and she wasn’t finished talking. She had more to say to my dad. From their bedroom down the hall I could hear her talking to him while I got out of my pajamas. Her voice was going on and on with steel in it, like she was some lawyer summing up the defense in a bad case, and even though by 1941 it must have been an old defense and an old case, she did not sound tired of it. There was all that steel and ice mixed up in it. But my dad wasn’t saying anything. I could hear just the sound of him sitting down on the edge of the bed to put his boots on and the noise on the wood floor as he stamped into them. Then I was dressed and out in the hallway again ready to go downstairs, and I heard him say something to her. It sounded like two words, and they must have been enough, or too much maybe, because after he said them it was only silence coming out of their bedroom. I went downstairs.

Lyman was still standing in the front hallway. The strings of his earflaps were tied tight in a double knot under his chin pulling the bill of his cap down low on his forehead like he was expecting heavy weather, and he was standing there holding his suitcase.

“You coming along too?” he said. “For the send-off?”

“Yes, sir.”

I put my coat and stocking cap on, and we stood facing one another, waiting for my dad. We examined the rug and each other’s feet.

“At least,” Lyman said after a while, “at least it don’t look like it wants to snow.”

“No, sir.”

“I hope it don’t,” he said. “Not anyhow.”

The rug was an oval braided one made of bright rags, and Lyman’s shoes were his best, those black polished shoes he must have worn to the Holt Tavern a year earlier. They had sand on them now from his walking the half mile to our house. The sand was getting on my mother’s rug.

“Well,” Lyman said. “How’s the sixth grade?”

“What?”

“The sixth grade. At your school in town.”

“I’m in the eighth grade,” I said.

“Eighth,” he said. “Well, don’t never quit.”

“No, sir.”

“Take me,” he said. “You never know when you might need all your education.”

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s right,” he said. Then like he’d been pondering this question for a good long time, he said, “What’s the capital of California?”

“San Francisco.”

“That’s right,” he said. “You see?—that’s what I’m talking about.”

My dad came down the stairs then and put his coat on, and we went outside to the pickup. It was cloudy and just flat dark, but it wasn’t going to snow; it was too cold to snow, and there wasn’t that heaviness in the air that comes before snowfall. I sat between my dad and Lyman in the pickup with the gearshift between my knees and the light from the speedometer showing yellow on my dad’s face. Nobody said anything for a while. The gravel on the dirt road kicked up underneath the fenders, and then we were on the highway, where there was the sound of the snow tires on the blacktop. Outside the window the headlights picked up the brush and tumbleweeds caught along the fence line beside the highway, and beyond the fence line the country was all dark, with the few trees standing up leafless and showing even darker against Owens’s white house on the right when we passed it and again two miles later against Wheelers’s yellow house on the left as we passed it too, driving north towards town. There were no yard lights on anywhere in the country.

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