“Well, my aunt drives me crazy because of you, so I suppose we’re even.”
“Fine. Let’s make a deal: I won’t say anything about your pay in my next letter to Daldry, but you have to tell me how the argument with your aunt started.”
“You’re blackmailing me to betray Mama Can’s trust!”
“Yes, but I have to sacrifice my independence and peace of mind by not saying anything to Mr. Daldry about him paying you to watch over me. We’re even.”
Can refilled Alice’s glass. “Okay, but drink this first.” His gaze was steady and penetrating.
Alice tossed back the drink and set the empty glass on the table. “I’m listening.”
“I think I found Mrs. Yilmaz.” Alice looked bewildered. He thought she hadn’t understood. “Your old nanny. I know where she lives.”
“How did you find her?”
“Well, I am the best guide in Istanbul. I’ve been asking around üsküdar over the past month. I finally found somebody who knew her.”
“When can we go and see her?” Alice couldn’t hide her excitement.
“The time has to be right. And Mama Can can’t know anything about it.”
“What does it have to do with Mama Can? Why didn’t she want you to tell me?”
“I told you. She thinks I’ll only hurt you by taking you to meet Mrs. Yilmaz. My aunt has an opinion or a theory about everything. She thinks that the past should rest in the past, that it’s never good to stir up old stories. She says that we shouldn’t dig up what time has left buried.”
“Why on earth does she think that?”
“I have no idea. Perhaps we’ll find out. But you must promise that you’ll be patient and wait for me to organize the visit without saying anything.”
Alice gave her word, and then Can asked her to let him take her home. He had drunk an impressive volume of raki over the course of his confession, and it was imperative for them to be on their way while he could still walk.
The following evening, on her way from Cihangir to the restaurant, Alice stopped by her apartment to change clothes before her seven-o’clock shift.
The atmosphere in the restaurant seemed to have returned to normal. Mama Can’s husband was busy in the kitchen, shouting whenever a plate was ready, and Mama Can watched over the dining room from her cash register, only leaving her perch to greet the regulars and point them toward the tables that she assigned according to her own personal opinion of their importance. Alice took their orders and hurried between the tables and the kitchen.
When the rush hour of the evening service hit around nine, Mama Can left her stool to lend Alice a hand. She was watching Alice, and Alice knew it. She did her best to act as if Can had told her nothing of the previous day’s argument. When the last customer was gone, Mama Can locked the door, pulled up a chair, and contemplated Alice, who was setting the tables for the following day, as she did at the end of every evening. She had taken the tablecloth off the table next to where Mama Can was sitting when the rag she used for wiping down the tables was suddenly snatched out of her hand.
“Go make us some tea, my dear. And bring two glasses.”
Alice welcomed the break. She went to kitchen and came back a few moments later with the tea and glasses. Mama Can told her husband to close the serving hatch between the kitchen and the dining room. Alice put down the tray and sat across from her.
“Are you happy here?” asked Mama Can as she poured the tea.
“Yes,” said Alice, wondering what was coming next.
“You’re brave. Just like me when I was your age, I was never afraid of working. It’s a funny situation when you think about it, between our family and you, don’t you think?”
“What do you mean?”
“During the day, my nephew works for you, and in the evening, you work for me.”
“I’d never thought of it that way.”
“You know, my husband doesn’t say much. He says I don’t leave him any time to get a word in edgewise, that I talk enough for both of us. But he likes you and respects you.”
“I’m touched to hear that. I like you all very much too.”
“And the room I’m renting you—you like it?”
“I love how quiet it is, yes. The view is lovely and I sleep well there.”
“And Can?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You don’t understand my question?”
“Well, Can is the perfect guide. Probably the best guide in Istanbul. And we’ve spent so many days together that I think I can consider him a friend as well.”
“My girl, do you realize how much time you spend together? It has been months, not days.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“I’m just asking you to be careful with him. You know, love at first sight only exists in books. In real life, feelings grow slowly, the way one builds a house, stone by stone. Do you think I fainted with pleasure at the sight of my husband the first time I saw him? No. But after forty years of living together, I love him very much. I learned to appreciate all of his qualities. I got used to his weaknesses. When I get angry at him, like I did last night, I try to spend some time alone and I think.”
“What do you think about?” asked Alice, somewhat surprised at this unexpected revelation.
“I imagine a set of scales. On one side I place all the things that I like about him, and on the other side I put everything that annoys me. And when I look at the scales, I realize that everything balances out, or even leans toward the positive side. That’s because I’m lucky to have a husband I can count on. But Can is much more intelligent than his uncle, and unlike his uncle, he’s also rather handsome.”
“Mama Can, I never intended to seduce your nephew.”
“I realize that, but I’m talking about him, not you. He would search all of Istanbul if you asked him to. Don’t you see that?”
“I’m sorry. I never thought that—
“I know. You work so much that you don’t have a minute to think about anything. Why do you think I forbid you from working on Sundays? So that you rest at least one day a week. So that your heart has a reason to keep on beating. But I can see that you’re not attracted to Can. You should leave him in peace. You know the way to Cihangir, and the weather is warm and pleasant now. You can go there on your own.”
“I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow.”
“You don’t need to discuss it. You just have to tell him you don’t require his services any longer. If he really is the best guide in the city, he’ll be able to find other customers.”
Alice looked into Mama Can’s eyes. “You don’t want me to work here anymore?”
“I never said anything like that. What’s got into your head? I like you very much, and so do the customers. I’m delighted to see you arrive every evening. I’d be bored without you. Keep up your work, keep the room where you sleep so well, concentrate on your days in Cihangir, and everything will be for the better.”
“I understand, Mama Can. I’ll think about it.” Alice took off her apron, folded it, and put it on the table.
“Why were you angry with your husband last night?” she asked as she headed for the door.
“Because I’m like you, dear. I’m strong-willed and I ask too many questions. See you tomorrow. Go on. I’ll close up behind you.”
Can was waiting for Alice outside.
“You don’t look well. Are things still tense in the restaurant?” asked Can.
“No, everything is back to normal.”
“Mama Can’s bad moods never last long. Come on, I’ll take you home.”
They started off toward Alice’s apartment.
“I have to talk to you about something, Can.”
“I have news too. I think it’s better if you hear about it now. The reason the old schoolteacher doesn’t see Mrs. Yilmaz in the market anymore is that she left Istanbul. She went home to Izmit with her family. I even have her address.”
“Is that far? When can we go and see her?”
“It’s about an hour on the train. We could also take a boat. I haven’t arranged anything yet. I wanted to make sure you were ready.”