“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!” I joke as Max smirks at me over his UCLA mug, the light blue script of the word Bruins so faded you wouldn’t know what it said unless you knew he’d gone to school there, that it was his favorite mug to drink coffee from. It’s always been the subtle things like this, the little nuances that make him who he is, many of which only I know, that have made me feel connected to him. Like how he can only read a magazine from the first page to the last page, never skipping around like I do; or the fact that he talks in his sleep after he’s had a cocktail; or the way he runs his hand through his hair when he’s nervous.
“Come on! Tell me something about your night.” He reaches in and kisses me softly. “I can make it worth your while,” he says seductively.
As I drove us away from Las Vegas this morning, watching the city disappear into the hills through the rearview mirror, Jules sleeping soundly in the passenger seat, Liam high above us in the air, having texted he was flying back with Nikki on the Gulfstream jet she’d chartered, I had prepared myself for how I would answer Max’s question, for the way I could describe my night without having to lie. Jules had sworn me to secrecy about how she was feeling, and of course I would never betray her confidence. Besides the fact that she was also Max’s friend, she had told me she didn’t want to put her problems on anyone else’s shoulders. In fact, she’d repeatedly asked me if I was okay—if knowing the betraying thoughts that lingered inside her head had changed something inside of me, had altered the way I saw her or viewed marriage in general. The truth was, of course it had changed things, but I told her, if anything, it had pushed me closer to Max. It had reinforced why I didn’t ever want to lose him again.
“It was like old times!” I say brightly, because in so many ways, it was. Before Kevin and Nikki infiltrated my night, it had been just the three of us laughing and dancing the way we used to. I immediately launch into a recap of the evening, leaving out Jules’ incident, but including Nikki, a part of me wanting Max’s opinion on what her arrival meant for my friendship with Liam.
“Don’t take it personally. He’s a guy, which means he’s only thinking about one thing right now.” Max laughs and raises his eyebrows.
Maybe that’s the problem.
I smile at Max’s joke, but his words rest heavy on my mind. Did we put too much importance on our sex lives? Did we overlook other, possibly more meaningful things because our partners weren’t throwing us up against a wall? Did we let our animal instincts take over when instead we should be focusing on our emotional ones? Jules had contemplated having an affair because her husband wasn’t paying enough attention to her, but what if it was just a phase—if he really was just busy and distracted? If she’d tried talking to him about how lonely she was feeling, would things be different? And Liam. He was head over heels for a twenty-four-year-old woman who’d struggled with alcohol and drug addiction and, according to the latest gossip, had barely graduated from high school—because the sex was good? He was changing who he was and even letting his friendships fall by the wayside because he only had one thing on his mind?
“What?” Max asks when he sees me shake my head.
“Nothing,” I say, deciding I’m overthinking it. I need to take Liam’s advice and let my friends live their lives the way they want to. And I need to focus on my own life—the one right in front of me, the one I plan to live with Max.
Stella had called while Jules and I were on the way back from Las Vegas to let me know about yet another obstacle she’d run into. Apparently, all of the DJs and bands on the island of Maui were now booked on our wedding date and the only way to play music would now entail a more DIY approach. She’d wanted my approval to set up speakers and an iPod. “It’s what anyone who’s anyone is doing now anyway,” she’d squeaked, her voice sounding as tight as a drum, and I’d known better than to argue.
Not surprisingly, it turns out, when you plan a wedding, then replan it, then change everything back to the way it originally was, the only way to pull it off, or as Stella lectured, even have one at all, is to prioritize.
Having Max as my husband is priority number one, I’d thought as I’d tried to block the image of my bright pink iPod propped up next to the shrimp cocktail. That’s what’s important.