54.
Jade
She curled up in the chair in the corner of their hotel room while Celia paced the floor. Celia had held her when she got back to the hotel, letting her talk. Letting her cry. But now Celia was anxious to move on. She wanted to figure out their next step, while Jade’s mind was still in that dressing room with Riley. She’d fantasized that one day, far in the future, she’d be able to talk to her daughter. In her fantasy, there was tenderness. Forgiveness and understanding. That had been unrealistic of her. She’d hurt Riley, and Riley was the last person in the world she’d ever wanted to hurt.
“Well, the first thing we have to do,” Celia said, “is cancel that New Bern gig. We’ll get a lot of flak for it, but we can’t possibly—”
“No,” Jade said.
Celia stopped pacing, looking at her like she’d lost her mind. “What do you mean, no?”
“What’s the point, Celia? Danny hates me and he’s friends with the police. He knows our schedule. He knows where we’ll be. Even if we cancel the rest of the tour altogether, he knows how to find me now.” She scratched at a little stain on the arm of the chair. “It’s over for me.”
Celia sat down on the corner of the bed. “It’s not just you this is affecting,” she said. “It’s me, too. Shane and Travis. Not to mention our kids.”
She was right. Many years ago, Jade had spared herself and her family from a long-drawn-out trial and months—or years—of hurtful publicity, only to threaten her new family with something worse now. But you could only run so far from your mistakes.
“I know.” Her voice came out as a whisper. “I’m so sorry. I know this messes things up for Jasha Trace.”
“It kills Jasha Trace.”
She cringed. Celia had been full of sympathy and comfort for the last hour. Now she was angry and Jade didn’t blame her.
“I know it’s going to be terrible for Alex and Zoe.” Her voice broke on Zoe’s name, but she kept talking. “There’s just no way out.” How would she ever explain it to their children? Would she be imprisoned in Virginia, thousands of miles from them? Her hand shook as she wiped tears from her eyes, and although she kept her own gaze on the arm of the chair, she felt Celia staring at her.
“There’s got to be a way around this,” Celia said.
“She’s so hurt that I left her,” Jade said. Those final moments with Riley were still on her mind. I felt so left out, Riley had said. She’d broken Jade’s heart with those words. “She doesn’t understand why I didn’t stay so I could be involved in her life.”
“Did you tell her the truth?”
Jade shook her head. “Never,” she said. She wondered how Celia could even ask.
“Maybe it would make a difference,” Celia said. “Maybe she’d understand then. Right now, she’s upset with you, and that’s only going to make things worse for us.”
“How can they be any worse for us?”
Celia didn’t answer. She ran her hand over the puffy comforter on the bed, chewing her bottom lip. What could she say? Things were as bad as they could be.
“I have to try to talk to her tomorrow,” Jade said. “I can’t let things end on a sour note between us like they did tonight.”
“Do you know where she is?”
“I have her address in my contacts.” She looked into Celia’s silvery eyes, so full of hurt. God, she was ruining everything for everybody she loved! “I hoped this would never happen.” She shook her head. “I’m so sorry.”
Celia stared at her for a long moment. Then she stood up and turned toward the window, looking out into the darkness. It was nearly two in the morning. Chapel Hill was asleep. So were Shane and Travis, in the room connected to theirs by a small living room. The men were blissfully unaware of how everything would change for them in the morning.
“We need to tell the guys,” Jade said.
Celia didn’t answer her. Instead, she lifted her backpack from the dresser and walked out of the bedroom into the living room. Was she going to tell Shane and Travis right now? Jade sat woodenly in the chair. She heard Celia moving things around in the living room for a few minutes, but she stayed where she was. Even when she heard the door to the hallway open and close, she didn’t move … but she did breathe a sigh of relief. Celia wasn’t going to tell them yet. Jade knew her well. Celia just needed time alone to think. She needed time to come to the conclusion Jade had already reached: it was over.