19
THIS IS LIKE THE PERFECT storm of bad decisions,” Jamie said as the three of us approached a bed-and-breakfast in Key Largo. It was dark out. We’d ditched the truck about seven miles before; minutes later, it had begun to rain. Not enough to wash the blood out of my T-shirt or off my skin, but more than enough to make the miserable seven-mile walk even more miserable. Stella scratched at a thousand mosquito bites, and Jamie muttered about Lembas the whole way.
“Fine. Let’s get this shit show on the road,” he said as we stood in front of a well-lit, charming old green Victorian with yellow plantation shutters and scalloped trim. The shingles were weather-beaten and worn, and creepers snaked up the siding from the ground to the windows. “Mara, you should probably stay outside while I—”
“What?” I looked up. I’d been picking at a flake of dried blood between my thumb and forefinger, not paying attention.
“You’re not exactly inconspicuous,” he said. “And I’ve never tried to Jedi mind-fuck anyone like this before.” His voice wavered a little.
I arched an eyebrow. “Don’t you mean ‘mind-trick’?”
“Not when I do it,” he said.
“You’ll be fine,” I said. “Just ask for three rooms.”
But I’d never seen him so nervous. He ended up taking my hand and walking in with me, filthy and bloody though I was. Our clothes dripped water on the maroon runner that led up to the front desk. The wood had been painted a dark hunter green, and the desk itself looked like it was covered in a giant doily. A fan lazily spun above our heads, and the breeze made me shiver.
No one was actually at the desk, of course. There was a little silver bell, like an actual bell, with a card that said Ring for Service in calligraphy.
“Well?” Stella looked at Jamie.
Jamie fidgeted. “I’m not sure I can—”
“You can,” I said gently.
“No, but if I can’t, though . . . I mean, if I screw up, what if she calls the police?”
“Then you’d better not screw up.” I smiled.
“Don’t be such a dick,” Jamie said, but he was smiling too. Then he rang the bell. He looked ready to bolt at any second.
“Just a moment!” The three of us heard shuffling, and then a pair of doors swung open. A bespectacled elderly woman appeared, beaming at us. Well, not all of us.
“Oh my,” she said as she got a good look at me. “Oh, sweetheart, are you all right?”
I mustered up my most winning smile. It did not have the desired effect.
“Um, we’d like to book a room,” Jamie said quickly as the woman held her hand to her chest. Stella nudged him. “Two rooms. Three rooms,” he amended.
“Dear, what happened to you?” she asked me. “Do you need a doctor?”
“Um, no—We were just—Jamie,” I said through gritted teeth, still smiling awkwardly. “Do something.”
I could see the woman’s confusion turn to nervousness and then to fear as she looked from me to the others. “Three rooms, you say?” Her voice wobbled slightly. “You know, I think I have just the ones for you. I’ll just run and do a quick check and make sure they’re ready. It’s been a while since we’ve had anyone up in the suites. Won’t be but a minute.”
“There’s no need to check,” Jamie said suddenly. His voice wasn’t loud, but it still felt like it was the only sound in the room. “The suites will be perfect. What floor are they on?”
“Third,” the woman said, blinking at him. “Third floor, rooms 311, 312 and 313.”
“Those will be perfect.”
The woman nodded, looking a bit dazed. “Yes. Perfect. I’ll just need your names?” She took out a guest book and a pen, and looked at Jamie expectantly.
Something came over Jamie then. He lifted his chin as he said, “Barney.” I cocked my head to the side. “Rubble.”
Stella put her head in her hands.
“And this,” he said, a smile spreading across his lips as he sidled up to Stella, “is Betty.” He put his hand on her shoulder. She smiled weakly. “And this is our daughter.” Jamie placed a hand on my head. “Bamm-Bamm.” I stepped on his foot.
“Ow,” he said through a clenched smile.
The woman clapped her hands together, clearly pleased. “What a lovely family you have, Mr. Rubble.” Her green eyes twinkled as she wrote our names in the guest book. “I’ll just need a credit card and one form of ID?” she asked Jamie.