“How do we fix this?” I ask. “Did you talk to Popa?”
Brandon nods toward the gateway. “If Davis is dead half the job is done. He was the source of the biggest change. Now we need to shut down Einstein and destroy that. Between all the changes in the past, and the frequency that thing is being used, it’s creating a rebound effect. Once it’s destroyed we just have to tuck in and let everything even out. At least, we hope.”
“Shit,” I say, pulling myself toward the door. “Shit. Nik said…something about going to Einstein. Traveling to someplace, but from the other side…”
Brandon’s face goes slack. “January, if he does that…traveling through time from outside the timestream? That’s like leaving a spaceship through the airlock and getting back in by punching a hole in the hull. That could just break it outright.”
“Help me,” I tell him.
“There’s no time…”
“There’s plenty of time. Help me get back in there.”
“No,” Brandon says, his eyes welling. “You’re dying.”
“Better to make it count then,” I tell him, and if he won’t help me then I’ll just drag myself there. But when he sees I’m not giving up, he lifts me under the shoulder. I get to the door and Ruby floats in front of it.
“I’m coming with you,” it says.
“You’re staying here,” I tell it. “You’re going to make sure Drucker goes down for this. Use your fancy data matrixes and I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
“You can’t go in there alone.”
“Sure can,” I say, as I reach up to punch in the code.
“January, I know as an artificially intelligent construct I don’t experience emotion the same way a human does, and I know our time together has sometimes been tense, but I think it’s fair to say that I have developed a level of fondness for you, and…”
“Yeah, yeah,” I say, giving it a little grin. “Don’t get all weepy on me now. You’ll rust or something.”
I give one more glance down at Allyn, dead on the floor, and I use some of the anger to propel me forward to finish the code. Brandon steps back. “We’ll be waiting right here.”
“Thanks,” I tell him.
As I’m opening the door I feel a body beside me, and then I’m shoved to the side. I fall backward, away from the door, someone darting in past me.
Kolten.
Warwick is calling out, trying to get him to stop, and I’m pushing forward, the door still open, and beyond it I see the closet, but I don’t see the closet. It’s like seeing two things at once, both a full room and an empty room.
As I fall backward my body lets go, and I know when I hit the floor I won’t be able to get back up, but then I feel a strong pair of hands grab me around the shoulders, and Cameo whispers, “I have you, darling.”
And they shove me forward through the doorway.
I tumble to the floor as the door slams behind me and I feel it immediately: the blood stops flowing. It hurts and I’m woozy, but I’m not leaking anymore. I roll to my side, taking a second to collect myself, and see Kolten, his back to me.
He’s standing there like he’s looking at something, but there’s nothing to see.
At least, I don’t think there is.
But then a groaning sound comes up from the middle of him, and his hands float out to his sides, reaching up for his face. He turns, like he’s trying to get away, and blood is pouring out of his nose. For a flash, I see a younger version of Kolten, but darker, radiating a terrible energy. As I’m trying to focus on him, the Kolten I know falls to his knees, his eyes blank, and he slumps over.
Some people are more susceptible than others.
I leave Kolten where he fell. Not much I can do at this point. But before I go looking for Nik, I take off my boot.
Family.
It was a dream, once. And then I convinced myself I could never have it. Maybe that I didn’t deserve it, or it wasn’t actually out there. A fantasy concocted to sell movies and greeting cards and shit. Mena showed me that wasn’t true, but I wasn’t all the way there. I got part of the way but it wasn’t enough. I needed to get there on my own.
If I have one regret, it’s that I won’t be able to make good on all the apologies I need to make. To say the goodbyes I am suddenly wishing I could deliver.
I use the heel of the boot to smash the keypad.
It sputters and goes dark.
I check to make sure the blood has really stopped flowing, and then gallop-slash-limp toward the lobby.
* * *
—
I find him in the tram station under the hotel, trying to figure out how to work the controls to take a car over to Einstein. As I approach he gives up and hops down onto the track. I’m walking like a zombie, practically dragging myself his way. He hears me coming well before he even sees me.
He’s ready. Worse, he’s cocky.
Because I took a chunk out of him before, his face a collection of cuts and bruises, but he can see that I’m seriously hurt, and even with the time-stopping properties of this place, my body is basically moving on adrenaline at this point.
“Thought you were dead,” he says. “I should have taken a moment to finish the job.”
“I broke it,” I tell him.
His face twists up. “Broke what?”
“The gateway. The panel. Smashed it up good. So basically no matter what you do, we’re stuck here.”
He laughs. It’s a very unsettling laugh. It echoes and grows deeper the longer it goes.
“I have access to all of time,” he says. “I’m sure I can figure something out. And once I’m done, fuck it, I’m going to own this place.”
“So that’s the plan? What happened to feeling bad for all those poor people on their poor cots and all the rich assholes who put them there?”
His shoulders slump a little and he sighs. “This is just how the world works. It’s built so that the people at the top stay at the top. There’s no way to climb anymore. If you want something, you have to take it. I am tired of my shitty apartment and my shitty paycheck and my shitty life. I’m going to climb the ladder. If I have to do it by their rules, then so be it.”
“Too bad I’m going to stop you,” I tell him, not entirely convinced, but with enough conviction that he appears momentarily worried.
And he comes for me.
As he does, time seems to slow, like it did before. I hear Mena’s voice in my head. She’s telling me about nirvana. About how you achieve it by not trying to achieve it. That you just let it be.
So I let it be.
Knowing that this is where I’ll die, and that’s fine.
Because I saved my family and found my sangha.
THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING
The Paradox Hotel, once, was a grand place.
The blue carpet is worn and in desperate need of replacement, or at least vacuuming and cleaning. The astronomical clock in the center of the room doesn’t work anymore. The top is covered in a layer of dust, along with most of the desks, which are now chipped and dinged. The air is permeated with a damp smell.