“One day soon,” he says, kissing me on the forehead so gently that tears rush into my eyes.
I feel that sharp-edged guilt digging, biting into my insides until everything feels shredded and bleeding. Despite this, I still need to go through with it. I can’t go to prison. Not now. I get a flash of Detective Mendez saying they’re looking into Mr. Werner’s death. I can’t not do this.
As we leave the room, I stuff a small wad of paper into the door lock so the latch won’t catch properly, and then we walk out of the building, my heart heavy as an iron fist as I lead my boyfriend away so my new friend can break into his room.
***
Hand in hand, we walk through the campus, past the old chapel with its steepled, faded-blue roof and stained glass windows, past the more modern Dewey Building and the huge, rambling Meyers Library. It feels like everyone’s hanging out on the grass, even though summer has well and truly slipped into fall and it’s way too cold to be sitting out here. Or maybe I feel this way because every time someone looks our way or says hi to us, I feel exposed, like they must know the kind of shady person I really am.
People keep coming by to us and asking Danny how he’s doing, which is really sweet but also really awkward. He deals with it all graciously, though, a lot more graciously than I would’ve.
“Hey, Danny,” Mandy calls out.
I’m immediately on my guard, every muscle inside me tensing as Mandy and Elle approach.
“How’s it going, Mandy?” Danny says.
There’s that familiar smirk on Mandy’s face that makes my chest tighten. I know, even before she opens her mouth, that nothing good is going to come out of it.
“So Elle and I have a bet. Do you think they’ll ever find the wolf or bear or whatever that ate your uncle?” Next to her, Elle is smiling and sort of frowning at the same time, like she was prepared for Mandy to say some mean shit to me but not like, this mean.
I’d been expecting something bad, but holy shit. The anger ignites deep in my belly and rages up and out. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I snap.
The acidity in my voice catches Mandy off guard, and she turns the full heat of her attention on me, bearing down on me like a beast of prey. “Oh, look, the little worm’s talking back.” She steps toward me and shoves me back.
“Hey!” Danny says. “Stop that.”
Instead of stopping, Mandy shoves me again, this time with all her might. It’s so shockingly strong that suddenly, I’m snatched back to that cursed day in the woods. Mr. Werner’s breath hot in my ear, my hands slick with blood and sweat, grasping at something, anything. That moment where everything civilized stopped existing and we were shaved down to the bone, nothing but teeth and claws.
“Lia,” Danny says, but his voice comes from afar.
All thought has come to a screaming mess in my head, and I taste the metallic tang of fear in my mouth as I swing my hands up to cover my face, to protect myself from Mr. Werner, and I only realize what I’ve done when my flailing hands smack into Mandy’s face.
It wasn’t a hard smack, but Mandy stumbles back with a shriek like I’ve just punched her in the face.
“You slapped me!” she screams.
“I—what? No, I didn’t, I wasn’t—”
“You pushed her first,” Danny says.
“Oh, your little girlfriend assaulted Mandy. I saw that very clearly,” Elle says with a smirk.
Kids are crowding around Mandy and Elle, who are shouting, and my blood is pounding in my head and everything is swimming. Tears spring to my eyes and dimly, I realize that Danny’s leading me away.
As soon as we turn a corner, Danny swings around to face me. “Are you okay? Holy shit, that was messed up. God, I’m so sorry I didn’t hold her back or something, I just froze.”
“It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t freaked out like that. When she pushed me, it just—” I stop myself in time. I can’t tell him that when Mandy shoved me, it snatched me back to the woods with Mr. Werner.
“Shit, shit,” Danny mutters.
“What is it? I’m okay, don’t worry about me.”
“Draycott has a zero-tolerance policy on physical violence.” Danny sags against the wall. “And knowing Mandy, she’s going to spin this into something worse than it really was, and Elle would back her up. I’ll speak up on your behalf, obviously I will, but Mandy always has a knack for getting people to believe her version of events.”
Oh god. Draycott has a zero-tolerance policy on violence. It does. Of course it does. Most schools do. Oh my god, how could I have been so stupid? I’ve fallen right into Mandy’s trap. I want to bury my face in my hands and shriek until my throat is ragged and bleeding.
“I—”
Whatever I’m about to say dies away when my phone starts ringing. Danny and I stare at each other in horror. The caller ID says Draycott Administration Office. You’ve got to give it to them. They’re efficient. I barely realize that I’ve answered the call until I hear the receptionist’s voice.
“Hello, Lia Set—Set-eye-ay-wen?”
I don’t bother correcting her. “Yeah?”
“This is Margot from the admin office. Please report to Mrs. Henderson’s office right away.”
Oh my god. My stomach turns to stone. My arms are lead. I can’t breathe. I can’t—
“Hello, are you still there?”
I manage a squeak, which Margot takes as a yes. She tells me they’re expecting me soon and hangs up.
This is it, then. This is how I get myself kicked out of Draycott. Not by killing Mr. Werner, but by accidentally hitting Mandy. I stare at my phone. I stare at Danny.
“Lia.” His voice comes out hoarse.
I open my mouth, but no words come out. There is a lump too big for words to slip around.
“We’ll fight it together. I’ll tell Mrs. Henderson what really happened,” Danny says.
I nod numbly and let him lead me toward Castor, which is good, because I’m in a daze and barely know which direction to face. I can’t believe I’m about to get kicked out of Draycott after all.
At the admin office, Margot says to Danny, “I’m sorry, you can’t wait here unless you’ve got an appointment.”
Danny steps forward. “But—”
“Trust me, she’s in enough trouble without you making it worse,” Margot says.
Danny and I gape at each other for a second, then he says, “I’ll get my phone. I’ll make calls. I’ll—”
“I’ll be fine,” I say, and I barely recognize my own voice. “Don’t worry about me.”
Danny smiles, and it hurts to see how fake it is. How he’s so obviously doing it for my sake. “I’ll get my phone from my room real quick and call my family lawyer. It’ll all be okay.” He pulls me in for a second, his familiar scent filling my senses. I close my eyes and breathe him in.
And then I walk into the principal’s office, and just as the door closes behind me, I realize Stacey’s still in Danny’s room.
Chapter 25