“I guess you must be wondering what we’re doing here with stuffed animals?” he whispers, even though we are clearly alone.
I nod. He places the flashlight under his face so that he looks demonic. I laugh.
“Ancient tradition states —” he says, and then he breaks into laughter. “Sorry. Got nothing. We are here because while the zoo is an awesome place to look at monkeys while drinking an overpriced grape slush, it is also like a jail to those very same monkeys, and all the other animals. Our act of hooligan do-goodery is an artistic one.”
We stroll toward the entrance. It’s a large arch you walk through, and illuminated on top of it is a big globe. We walk in, keep walking, and finally we get to a shuttered main entrance with ticket booths.
“Shoot,” he says.
“What?”
He sighs. “I was hoping for a tall wall.”
“Okay.”
“Hmm,” he says. “Plan B. Stay here.”
He jogs off to the wooded area to the side of the zoo, and I hear him doing something with the bag. He comes back and shows me the contents of the bag with his flashlight. Gravel.
“We’ll use this to mark the pathway.”
I don’t even ask. He kneels down at the shuttered doors and starts to create a one-foot-wide mini-pathway through the asphalt with the gravel, and though I don’t really know what he’s doing, I sit down on the hot asphalt and join him. The parts he does are curvy, so I mimic them.
Once we have a path that’s about twenty feet long leading from the entrance toward the parking lot, Jordan empties the bag of stuffed animals, and he begins to place them, two by two, in a line as if they’re walking up the path.
I laugh. “Ah,” I say, and my worry about going to jail goes away.
“I saw this in my sleep,” he says. “They’ll get the message, don’t you think?”
“I think so, dude.” I grab a couple zebras and put them at the end of the path.
“And zebras shall lead them,” he says.
I say, “Where is not clear.”
“True.”
We step back and look at our project. A procession of stuffed animals appears to be taking flight from the zoo.
It looks — weird.
I start laughing. I glance over at Jordan and he looks similarly amused, and then he starts laughing and our laughter reverberates through the quiet night.
Then I see lights in the distance.
“Shit,” I whisper. “Mission aborted.”
I grab his arms and pull him toward the parking lot, but it’s too late. There’s a car pulling in next to ours. My heartbeat soars. I pull him back into the zoo area and scan for a good hiding spot. There are bushes right at the edge of the woods to our right, so I pull him in that direction and I feel him nearly fall. He rights himself and we sprint toward the woods, then I jump behind a shrub and Jordan carefully follows me, trying to avoid the branches that I didn’t worry too much about.
We watch, breathless, as the car stops, the guy gets out, looks at our car, looks around, and, possibly because he’s underpaid or perhaps because he doesn’t give a shit, drives off. We stay there for a few extra minutes, in silence, as he drives away.
I find myself feeling kind of incredible there, at almost one in the morning, behind a bush at the Phoenix Zoo with a beautiful guy who doesn’t know he’s beautiful. I feel invincible. Superhero-ish.
I turn toward Jordan. He turns toward me. Our eyes meet and in his I see so much all at once. Fear. Humor. A question. And hidden behind it, I see something I wasn’t sure was there. It’s in the arch of his eyebrow, and the unflinching way he holds my stare.
I curl my lips into a smile as a kind of question. His lips curl too. That’s all I need. I lean forward and jut my neck out at him. His face is frozen.
I put my lips on his. When they touch, my heart lurches, time stops, and he gasps.
His mouth tastes like light syrup, sweet and vaguely maple. I open my lips just a little and he does the same, mirroring mine. Our lips stay connected, and then I slightly breathe into his mouth, and his whole body shakes. Mine too.
His mouth is so tentative, and I wonder: Has he ever been kissed before? I want my lips to heal him, to protect him from everything. From his crazy mom. From the people who have hurt him, because no one is as tentative as Jordan without having gone through some shit.
I pull back slowly. I search his face. He averts his eyes for a moment and I give him some time to look back at me. Which he finally does. His light green eyes focus on mine again, and his face reddens just a bit, and he smiles.
“Well,” he says.
“Well.”
We exit the bushes, which is a good idea because no, I’m not gonna have our first time be in the bushes at the zoo. And I can’t help but think about kissing Kevin and how it was just — not this. I didn’t want to. Maybe that’s why the whole thing was so weird. I don’t know. Just thinking about it, and just thinking about seeing him earlier today — well, yesterday by now — makes my chest shiver.
“You okay?” Jordan asks, and I almost laugh, because he’s the one who needs to be asked “Are you okay” in this situation. Not me. I’m pretty sure this kiss is newer to him than it is to me. But instead I just say, “Yeah.”
We grab the step stool and the empty bag and leave our hooligan whatever thing — our artwork, I guess — for the world to see in the morning. We get into the car in silence and it’s nice not to have to talk. To chill and drive through Tempe in the deep night, two dudes who happen to work together, and happen to, I don’t know.
I turn off the lights of my truck and pull up in front of his house. We come to a stop and sit there for a bit, unsure of what to say, I guess.
“I gotta,” he says, and I look at him and smile and he does a Jordan smile approximation, which makes me smile wider, because. He’s so damn Jordan.
“Yeah,” I say, and he nods and throws open the door and sprints toward the front door.
And I drive off, thinking that I’ve just had about the most exciting day of my life, and wondering how it’s gonna play tomorrow in the truck.
I prop myself up on a satin pillow and wrap a celebratory boa around my legs, which feels like the thing to do when you kiss a boy for the first time. Then I have a 2:00 a.m. texting session with Pam and Kayla: Me: You awake
Kayla: No
Me: That was a trick question, because asleep people can’t text
Kayla: This better be worth it or I will beat your ass
Me: Worth it
Kayla: Worth it how???
Me: We kissed
Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I kissed a boy and I liked it
Kayla: That’s awesome sweetie. Was he a good kisser? I’m guessing yes
Me: How the hell would I know
Kayla: True. Oh no. Were you a bad kisser? You probably were really bad. Did he drop you off at home and drive away? Cause that’s what people do with bad kissers.
Me: (After sending a meme with a teenage girl giving dramatic side-eye) Fuck you bitch
Pam: You know that thing where you’re asleep and your phone keeps vibrating? That shit needs to stop
Kayla: He kissed a boy and he liked it!
Me: I kissed a boy and I liked it
Pam: Okay okay fine but can you shut the fuck up about it until after 9 a.m.?
Me: Sorry
Me: I
Me: Am
Me: Sorry
Kayla: Also me too
Kayla: Sorry
Kayla: So sorry
Pam: K you are both on ignore congrats tho on the kiss he is good for you
Me: Thanks Pam love you like crazy
Pam: K me too hitting ignore now
Me: You still there Kayla
Kayla: Of course because I’m your actual best friend and I care about your feelings
Kayla: She is going to slap me when she reads that in the morning
Kayla: Do you think this is like a thing now? You and Max
Me: I have no idea?!?! How will I know?
Kayla: Guys, esp dude bros are notoriously assholish about hooking up. But Max is better than that. I think?
Kayla: You’ll look in his eyes and just know
Me: Oh my god I have a bf! Maybe?!?! A bf!?!?
Kayla: Love you sweetie. More than Pam obvs
Pam: (After sending a meme with Chucky giving the middle finger) Fuck you bitch