My comrade Suguna knows to send this letter to you when she hears that I am no more. As you know we are banned, underground people, and this letter from me you can call as underground of underground, so it will take minimum five or six weeks to come to you through a safe channels. After I left my child there in Delhi, my conscience is very much bad. I cannot sleep or take rest. I don’t want her. But I don’t want her to suffer also. So in case if you know where she is, I want to tell you her frank story a little. Rest is for your decision. Her name that I have gave her was Udaya. In Telugu it means sunrise. I gave her this name because she was born in Dandakaranya forest during sunrise. When she was born I frankly felt hatred for her and I thought to kill her. I felt really she was not mine. Really she is not mine. Really if you see her story that I have written here, I am not her mother. River is her mother and Forest is her father. This is the story of Udaya and Revathy. I, Revathy, hail from East Godavari district of Andhra Pradesh. My caste is Settibalija which comes under BC (Backward Caste). My mother’s name is Indumati. She is a SSLC school pass. She is married with my father when she is 18 years. Father worked in army. He was older to her by many years. He saw her when he was home for vacation and fell in love because Mother is very fair and pretty. After engagement but before marriage Father was court-marshaled from army for smoking near the armory. He came to live in his village which was on opposite side of Godavari river from Mother’s village. His family is same caste, but was rich than hers. During marriage ceremony itself they made my Mother to got up from the pandal and demanded for more dowry. My grandfather had to run for loan. Only then they agreed and marriage continued. Immediately after marriage Father developed some perversions and sadism. He wanted Mother to wear short dresses and do ballroom dancing. When she refused he cut her with blades and complained she was not satisfying him. After some months he sent her home to my grandfather. When she was five months pregnant with me my Mother’s younger brother took her back to Father’s village in a boat. She was dressed in a very good sari and jewelry and took two silver pots of sweets and twenty-five new saris for her mother-in-law. Father was not there in the house. In-laws refused to open the door and came out and kicked the pot of sweets. Mother felt very much ashamed. On the way back, in middle of the river she taked off her jewelry and jumped from the boat. I was in her stomach five months then. Boatman saved her and took her home. I was born in my maternal grandfather’s house. During pregnancy time Mother’s stomach was huge. She was expecting twins. White color, like her and her husband. But I came out. I was black and weighty. Seeing my color Mother was unconscious for two days. But after that she never left me. The whole village talked. My father’s family came to know how black I was. They had that caste and color feeling. They said I was not theirs but a Mala or Madiga girl, not a BC but a SC Schedule Caste girl. I grew up in my grandfather’s house. He worked in Animal Husbandry. He was a communist. His house had a thatch roof but many books. When he became old my grandfather became blind also. I was in school then I would read to him. I would read Illustrated Weekly, Competition Success Review and Soviet Bhumi. I also read the story of the Little Black Fish. We had many books from People’s Publishing House. Father would come to my grandfather’s house at night to trouble Mother. I would hate him. He moved around the house at night like a snake. She would follow him, he would torture and cut her and send her back. Again he would call her and again she would go. For some time afterwards he took her and kept her with him again in his village. Again she became pregnant. In my grandfather’s village the women prayed for her second baby to be also black so Mother could be proved a faithful wife. They sacrificed thirty black hens in the temple for this. Thanks god my brother is born also black. But then again Father sent Mother home and married another woman. I wanted to be a lawyer and put my father behind bars forever. But soon I became influenced by Communism and revolutionary thinking. I read communist literature. My grandfather taught me revolutionary songs and we would sing together. My mother and grandmother stole coconuts and sold them for paying my school fees. They bought me small things and kept me very fashionable and many boys liked me. After passing Intermediate I sat for Medical entrance and got selected but we had no money for fees. So I joined government degree college in Warangal. There Movement was very strong. Inside forest, but outside also. In my first year itself I was recruited by Comrade Nirmalakka and Comrade Laxmi who would visit women’s hostel and talk to us girls about exploitation by the Class Enemy and terrible condition of poverty in our country. From college itself I worked as a part-timer and courier for the Party. Afterwards I worked in the Mahila Sangham—women’s organization, creating class awareness in slums and villages. We became a channel for Party’s communication all over Telangana. We would travel by bus to meetings carrying booklets and pamphlets. We would sing and dance at protest meetings. I read Marx and Lenin and Mao and became convinced of Maoism.