Jess and I rode the rest of the way, hearing only the sounds of the meadow and an occasional snort from Clive. Deep thoughts circled around in my mind. I trusted Jess. My trust let him cut my hand to seal our friendship in blood. I really wanted to mean it as much as that blue-eyed boy. I wanted to find a way to keep him forever, but the idea of forever just felt impossible.
We returned to the stables and Jess called his father. Dr. Mason looked over my ankle and determined it was a bad sprain. After two days of searching, Uncle Frank found Blue Bonnet and turned five shades of red, yelling at Jess. He got a list of chores a mile long to remind him of the responsibilities when having a horse since he’d apparently forgotten. I promised Jess to help after my ankle could stand the pressure. After all, we swore in blood.
A week, after the horse incident, my ankle held enough weight to help Jess out in the barns. I was getting ready when a faint knock echoed off the wooden door in the living room. I found Jess on the other side.
“I thought I would meet you at the barn,” I said, confused.
“I know. But I got a surprise for you.” He got all fidgety with excitement, making the words slurring together He handed over a box with a lid on top. “Open it.”
I pulled the flaps back and peered inside the present. A set of green eyes stared back from an orange, furry face.
“You got me a kitten?” I said, pulling the little body from the box.
“I found her this mornin’ out in one of the sheds. I know she’s not a dog, but I kind of liked her.”
“She’s really mine?” I asked, rubbing the soft fur against my check. I heard a small purr come from deep in the little kitten’s throat.
“If you want her. I, um, thought maybe you’d forgive me. I’m sorry I got you hurt.”
“I wasn’t really mad at you.”
“No?”
“No.” I smiled, rubbing the orange fur on my cheek again. “She’s really awesome. Thank you, Jess. I really mean it. What’s her name?”
“I thought ‘bout Carrot since you know, she’s got your orange hair.”
“I don’t have orange hair!”
“Whatever,” he said back with a wicked grin. “Pumpkin.”
“I’m going to choke you, Jess Mason!”
“You can kill me down in the stables. Come on. We gotta go. Get your ugly shoes on,” Jess laughed straight in my face. I stared at him a few minutes, trying to give the worse possible glare to that dang boy. I would knock him in the head one of these days.
I handed the little orange ball of fur over and walked back to my bedroom. Carrot. It was a stupid name, but I liked it. Typical Jess. I laughed to myself. Sweet with a gift and then ornery with the delivery.
Carrot wasn’t the only thing that came from our horse riding incident. Mrs. Mason said I needed real lessons if I planned to ride at the ranch. I worked with a trainer twice a week. It was a little difficult the first few classes since I refused to get on a horse. As the weeks passed, I learned to not be afraid and formed a level of control that could have stopped Blue Bonnet on that wild afternoon racing across the meadow. I convinced my father I was truly thankful to the Masons’ for the lessons. Deep down, the contempt remained, as it was just another item penciled onto the never-ending Mason List.
Chapter 13
Today, 10:35 p.m.
The meadow fades away in my dreams. I wake again on the soft pillow. The warmth seeps into my skin, flooding me with comfort. I reach up to scratch my nose, but my wrist holds tight in the restraint. The damn thing still has me captive.
“Your dad should be back soon with the doctor.”
I jerk, realizing my head is cradled in the lap of the beauty queen. “You’re still here?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Your dad asked me to stay.”
“Oh.”
Her fingers brush through my red hair like I am a child. The motion feels soothing even if I am dead on the inside.
“He wants me to help clean you up when they take these off.” She smiles again. “Would you be ok with that?”
“I…I…don’t know.”
“They’re bringin’ you some clothes. I can help rinse you off in the shower and put ‘em on.”
“They?”
“I don’t know. Your dad didn’t say.”
I forgot my clothes were still the same. The same white shirt and jeans caked in dirt and vomit and blood. The red liquid soaked into everything and dried a solid black. The images flash again; vivid pictures captured in my head forever. My fingers twitch into a fist and my teeth bite down hard into my skin. I can’t breathe. I want to curl into a ball but the ankle clasps make my body thrash against the mattress.
“Take a deep breath, Alex. It’s ok. Breathe in. Breathe out. It’s goin’ to be ok.”
“No…”
“You have to be calm when the doctor comes or he won’t take them off.”
“I want…I want,” the air comes in jagged gulps, “to see Dr. Mason.”
“Breathe.” She rubs a hand against my arm. “Breathe.”
I cry. I cry ugly tears that shake my whole body. Nothing in my life will ever feel as painful as today. I feel alone. I feel hollow. The beauty queen curls her small body around my tall frame as I cry snotty tears into her pretty hair. At this rate, they would keep me all night. My eyes close and my thoughts swirl back to the memories of the last time I slept in the Arlis hospital.
Chapter 14
When I was twelve…
I was bored out of my mind after a brutal two days stuck in the farmhouse. The sky had drizzled freezing rain all night, which turned into snow toward morning. Storm of the century, according to every resident who purchased shovels and chains from the hardware store.
The living room held six new drawings from the last two days of confinement. I was officially out of ideas and needed something else to occupy my time. Jess called a little after lunch. He wanted to pick me up on his four-wheeler to go back to his house and watch movies. As it turned out, Jess promised his mother he would stay at my house until the snow stopped blowing. Double cover for his stupid idea. If only he’d told me of his little plan, I would have dressed better.
My skin turned to ice as we bounced deep into the meadow on his four-wheeler. Jess punched the gas, hitting another drift. My arms clenched tighter around his waist in a vice grip. I wore only a small jacket and pair of fancy gloves that were Christmas presents from the Masons. Without layers, the frigid air slapped me in the face. I buried my frozen nose into Jess's back to keep my eyes from freezing shut.
“Where are we going?” I shouted the words over the sound of the four-wheeler.
“We’re almost there,” he yelled over his shoulder. “It’ll be warm in the house.”
“What house?” I pulled my face free to look around the area. Over the last four years, Jess dragged me all over Sprayberry into every nook and cranny except Uncle Frank’s place. Nobody ventured inside the spook house except the man himself.
“Up there,” Jess motioned to the trees.
Peering through the thick snow, I saw the outline of what resembled the wooden boards of a treehouse. “You decided today was best time to take me here? In a blizzard?”
“I know, right? It’s gonna be so cool.”
“Are you insane?” My breath formed each word in the cold air. “We have to go back. It’s snowing harder.”
“Come on.” He jumped out of the seat and stomped through the snow to the tall oak.
“Jess…we can’t.”
He met my protest with a giant snowball, which smacked me in the chest. I formed one of my own and ran through the tall drifts to shove it down the back of his shirt. Jess spun around and put me in a head lock. His free arm grabbed a wad of ice, twisting it against my neck.
“Mercy!” I screamed.
“You goin’ up?”
“Yes! Ok! Yes! Now let me go!”
He loosened his arms. “I promise. We won’t stay long.”
“You drive me crazy.”
“I know,” Jess grinned, as the snow gathered on his long eyelashes.