Chapter 12
Elle
“Look, what's the big deal? If that's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done then you should count yourself lucky!”
I had, literally, never been so embarrassed in my life. Lexi was doing her best to cheer me up but I was having none of it.
I mean, sure there was the skinny dipping incident in front of my entire year but I was drunk then. It's different hearing about things after the event to actually remembering them first hand.
I sat there on the steps outside of the Modern Art Museum, my head in my hands. His face when I kissed him: he looked at me like I was mad or something.
I mean, what did I expect. He was this millionaire businessman, a guy who ran a casino and a load of other businesses. I was just a stupid little shy girl who he'd taken pity on a couple of times. What, did I take that to mean he liked me or something?
Idiot Elle.
I don't know what came over me though. The dance had been a blur. I'd been so nervous beforehand, I didn't think I could go through with it. When it started, though, I got lost into it. It was liberating, and when it ended, Icouldn't stop the adrenaline from rushing through my body.
It was like this surge of excitement. I'd never felt anything like it before. The crowd were clapping and cheering, cameras flashing and clicking. And then I saw him, standing at the back of the crowd, his tall frame carrying his eyeline over their heads.
He looked directly at me, smiling. It was as if he knew I'd be there, like he had come down to see me perform. I knew that wasn't the case, but in the moment that thought kidnapped my mind.
I went straight for him, I couldn't help it. That beautiful smile, those hazel eyes looking at me in a way that made my legs go weak. The excitement got to me, and I lunged for him. I could barely remember doing it now, but I knew it had happened.
The numb feeling of humiliation radiating through my body was enough to convince me of that.
Lexi was laughing in a sort of funny consoling way. “Elle, seriously, it can't have been that bad?”
“It was worse,” I said blankly, my voice muffled by my hands.
“So you kissed him, big deal. It's kinda romantic, don't you think?”
“Err, yeah, a completely one-sided romance. He just looked at me like I was a f*cking lunatic. You didn't see his face Lex. It was like a mixture of shock and disgust.”
She was still laughing. “It can't have been that bad babe. You're acting like you've never been rejected.”
Oh God. Rejected. What a horrible word.
I took my head from my hands and looked at her. “And you have?”
“All the time!”
“Bullshit. When would you ever get rejected?”
“I used to when I was younger. You didn't see me as a teen. I had this mouth full of braces and these little skinny legs. The worst was this guy I liked at school, Billy. He didn't just reject me. Literally, he actually got angry that I asked him out. Angry! Can you imagine that?!”
“What a douche.”
“I know!”
I couldn't help but smile at Lexi's honesty. And, of course, the idea of her as this skinny teenage girl with braces: that was a funny image.
“Look, lets grab lunch and have a cocktail, take your mind off it. Alice is coming down with Tess, we can have a girly day.”
“Fine, but no mention of this to them. I just know how Tess will react, and frankly, it's a little close to home with Alice. So don't let it slip, all right?”
She nodded, her smiley face still enjoying my pain.
“Not a word.”
....
An hour or so later the four of us were sat at a nice little outdoor restaurant on the river. The sun was out and streaming down onto our shoulders, the days turning warmer as summer approached.
Tess was her usually buoyant self, chatting away happily about all of the latest gossip she'd heard over the last week or two. She was quite like Lexi actually. They were both so smiley and bubbly, always looking to have fun and make the best of any situation.
Alice was much more solemn, much quieter. She had this air about her, this sort of gravitas as though she was the leader, the queen bee. It wasn't like she was a bitch or wanted that mantle. It was just her. She held an inner power, this confidence. I didn't think much would phase her.
And yet, she was full of mysteries. That conversation I'd heard her have with Kyle at the twins' birthday. I wondered what it was about that place, about that hotel that she hated so much. This girl was strong minded and unflappable. What had happened there that shattered her calm?
I hadn't seen Tess since that night. When she brought it up, I could sense Alice retreating back into her shell a little bit.
“So Elle,” Tess started, her face smothered in this suggestive look, “I saw you leaving with Crash Logan himself the other night. That was an interesting turn of events?!”
Alice looked up at me as Tess spoke, a look of slight surprise on her face. Clearly she didn't know about it.
It was hard for me to answer her while keeping my tone completely flat. I mean, that night had been a disaster until Crash came along. I couldn't see what others had said about him. This guy who plundered his way through life, not caring who got in his way.
He had been made to sound a brute, but that wasn't the guy I knew. Maybe he showed me a different side. Maybe with me he had no reason to live up to the reputation that had been built up around him. Maybe with me he could be himself.
“Oh yeah” I said, “we just had a drink upstairs in the hotel bar.”
“And?” Tess carried on, dragging the word out, as if there was more to tell. There wasn't really anything to tell. Nothing of note.
“And that's it.” My tone was turning defensive. I did that when under the spotlight. It made me seem guilty of something.
“If you say so,” said Tess. “I saw how you stared him down that first night you arrived. There was a spark there. Something's going to happen between you two, I can feel it.”
My mind turned back about an hour. Yeah, right.
“I wouldn't go there if I were you.” It was Alice, her words carrying a weight.
“Hey come on Alice, you went there with Kyle. And Crash, he's solar hot, like supernova hot.”
Alice's voice remained heavy, a warning to it. “Kyle and Crash are very different people. Tess, you know Crash's reputation. The things I've heard about him from Kyle. He's not someone you want to know, trust me.”
My interest was way too piqued to leave it at that.
“What's wrong with Crash? He's always seemed really nice to me.”
Alice went silent for a moment, thinking.
“There are things about him that you wouldn't even want to know. He's very much his fathers son, let's put it that way.”
His father's son. What the hell did that mean? I'd never met his father, I had no idea what he was like. I looked over at Lexi, her eyes pricking up. It appeared she probably knew what Alice was talking about.
“What do you mean though?” I asked. I couldn't lay this one to rest. “What did his father do?”
“Think about it Elle. Look at the sort of businesses his father built. Casino's, bars, strip clubs. They deal in vice. You know what happens in that sort of world.”
“What, like murder.” I said it quickly, without thinking.
Alice's expression changed immediately, her eyes dropping a little, her face losing some of its color. She nodded, her tone now completely dry. “Probably, yeah.”
I sensed a deep turmoil raging inside her, like she was battling some deepset guilt or something. She clearly wasn't letting on all she knew.
“Charles Logan was a horrible man,” she said quietly, “and Crash is no different.”
The table went silent. What had started as a friendly natter and gossip had descended into some sort of serious drama, one I was finding myself increasingly embroiled in.
Alice seemed to have a deep resentment towards Crash's father and Crash himself, and I had a good idea of why that was the case.
From what Lexi had revealed to me before, Mr Logan had been the stumbling block in the way of Alice and Kyle getting together. He'd ruled with an iron fist, or so she said, and Alice probably hated him for it.
The rule had been passed to Crash, and now he was the one causing them problems. He looked to be carrying on in his father's stead, keeping Kyle working at the strip club, not giving their relationship his blessing.
For Alice, the eldest males in the Logan clan had always been a thorn in her side. Kyle was next in line and, the way she spoke, if Crash died I doubt she'd shed a tear.
In fact, she'd probably welcome it.