Chapter 26
My time with Mrs Jones was becoming increasingly talky. To put it another way, we spent a lot of time talking and less time actually 'performing' and dancing.
“It gets to a point where you know all you need Alice, and then instinct takes over,” she told me when I pressed her on the issue. “You're there now, you don't need to learn any more physical moves. That part will take care ofitself.”
She'd taken to asking me how I felt about everything, and continued to try to instill in me this desire to perform, this need to break further out of my shell and explore my sexuality to its fullest extent. She would always talk about my body as being a gift, a powerful tool to use to make men quiver, to run their wallets dry.
The more time I spent with her, the more I was indoctrinated to her teachings, to her philosophies. She taught me to enjoy the process, to throw myself into every performance. What had once shred my nerves now enlivened my senses.
I began to relish the prospect of undressing for a man, of seeing him lose his cool and empty his wallet into my thong. Sometimes my tips would outweigh the money Kyle was officially paying me for the job. It struck me how in such a short space of time I'd gone from being destitute to falling to sleep at night, my high heart rate and anxiety no longer a problem, my bank account swelling by the week.
I'd taken to sitting by the phone, constantly glancing at it in the hope that it would ring, that I'd be sent off on another job. The thrill was unbeatable, the feeling of sexual liberation I felt infiltrating me completely.
And then there was Kyle. As I'd expected, he'd never called me, never got in touch. If ever I was given a job it was via a middleman, a messenger. I hoped every time I stepped into the car that he'd be behind the wheel, watching over me, keeping me safe. I wanted him to care, wanted him to be there. But he never was - the window was always down, the driver always visible. It was never him.
It was coming to the end of term when Tess was nominated to plan a party for the people on our course. It wasn't anything official, but that was college - any excuse for a party. She, of course, enlisted me to help her out.
It surprised me how she'd barely spoken about that night down at the club. I thought she'd really push it further but she hadn't. She'd only asked me about things in passing and never dwelt on it all. Perhaps it had finally sunk in that I didn't want that side of my life mixing with my life at college.
She planned for the party to take place at the main social room of our halls, filling the large space with decorations and ordering in enough alcohol to fill a fuel tanker. Her seemingly bottomless credit card must have taken a real hit, but I helped to share the burden with my newfound ability to actually pay for things. Giving her a few hundred dollars for a party was something that would have been laughably inappropriate - nay impossible - only a few months ago. Now it barely made a scratch on my bank account.
What started as a party for our classmates quickly escalated into a free-for-all. I suspected as much might happen, what with the party being held in our halls. As people stumbled upon it they couldn't help but sneak in for a cup of free punch. Soon half the campus had descended upon us.
I didn't care. In fact, I was happy for it. A lot of our classmates were boring as sin. At least, that's how I saw them now. It occurred to me that I'd actually quite liked them before I started dancing. I guess it was me who'dchanged, not them.
I saw Tess' eyes linger on Tom as he turned up. I knew her disinterest in him wouldn't last long, and so it had turned out. “I thought you didn't like him anymore,” I said as she followed him across the room with her eyes.
“What - oh him, God no, I was looking at someone else.”
I laughed. “Sure.”
“All right, fine. He's f*cking hot, OK. He may be an idiot, but that's not gonna change. Nothing wrong with a bit of window shopping.”
I giggled as she stormed off to refill her cup. I swear, nothing was ever normal or easy with her. Always a drama of some kind. It had been like that since we were kids, mainly about boys. She was always the first - the first tokiss a boy, the first to go to second base, third base, hell, all of the bases. Sure, I was the first to strip for money, but I imagine she'd probably done so as an amateur many times before!
It took until the end of the evening for Tess to finally pluck up the courage to talk to Tom. She was so vivacious and confident with everyone else - but with him, she always seemed to close up, retreat a little bit into her shell. That's how I knew she liked him a lot - it's what she always did when she liked someone.
I saw her flirting with him from across the room, the alcohol in her body providing ample lubrication for her words to slip from her tongue. I saw her gesture over to me as she spoke, with Tom's expression going wide with surprise. It always unsettled me when I knew someone else was talking about me, especially now.
“After-party time!” Tess said as she stumbled towards me, leaving Tom behind her. I could see him excitedly shuffle off through the thinning crowd to find his mates.
I kinda liked the sound of it - an after-party.
“Where?”
“Tom's frat house babe! We've been invited into the lions den!”
I dreaded to think of what went down in there. “He invited us to his frat house?”
“Yeah,” she said hurriedly, “come on, let's go.”
I hesitated slightly at the thought. Tom's frat house was notorious for specializing in a particular type of after-party - the type that I wasn't so keen on. Yeah, I was a stripper, but that's where I drew the line.
I couldn't say no to Tess' begging expression, though, her eyes yearning for me to say yes. “Fine, but if it gets weird I'm off!”
A smile cracked across her face. “I'm counting on it,” she said naughtily.
....
Tom's frat house was as I'd expected it to be: large, luxurious, and filled with dicks. We sat around in the main living room on old armchairs, a fire blazing in a centerpiece fireplace, several girls draped over guys' laps. I could feel where this was going, and I wanted no part in it.
“When are they getting here Tess?” It seemed Tom had finally learned her name.
Tess looked over at me as if she'd done something wrong. “Any time now.”
“What's going on,” I whispered to her as she sat on the arm of my chair. “Who's coming?”
Her face screwed up as it always did when she'd been naughty. “Babe, you're gonna hate me for this, but...”
Before she could finish her sentence there was a loud knock at the door and Tom looked up excitedly. “Tess,” he said, nodding her towards the entrance.
Tess glanced at me sorrily before pouncing towards the door. What the hell was she up to.
She opened it up and my heart dropped in anger as Tatiana walked through it, flanked by a couple of the other girls from the club that I didn't know. They walked in with large coats on as the guys began to whoop and cheer.
“Hello boys,” said Tatiana, throwing a wink in my direction as she flung her coat to the floor to reveal a sexy nurses outfit.
I looked in fury at Tess as she crept back into the room behind them, mouthing 'sorry' to me as she did. The other two girls discarded their coats as well to reveal their own sexy gimmicky outfits, perfect for this bunch of hooting monkeys.
I had to get out of there. This was way too close for comfort.
I stood quickly as Tatiana launched into her routine, the guys all roaring and high-fiving each other as they scrambled for their wallets and drew out notes. I walked round the back of my chair, doubting my sudden disappearance would be noticed, when the commotion suddenly stopped and Tatiana's voice carried across the room to my ears.
“You not going to join us Alice?” I turned to look at her, her mouth curled into a conniving grin. “How about you show your friends what you've been learning?”
Every eye turned on me, wide and unblinking, mouths falling open. Tom spoke first, his words spilling out in amazement. “Alice, are you - are you a stripper?!”
I could see the smile widen on Tatiana's face as I stood there, dumbstruck and unable to reply, unwilling to reply.
“Oh, did they not know Alice. I am sorry.”
I turned quickly before they saw my tears and ran from the house into the cold, my breath quickly engulfing the freezing air. I could hear Tess behind me calling my name but ignored her, her voice fading with every step.
I ran and ran, the alcohol heightening my emotions and forcing the tears from my eyes, warm against my cold cheeks. I stopped under a bridge, shaded from the fierce breeze, and sunk to my knees, my weeping uncontrollable.
My world had been broken, the facade I was holding up crushed. My two lives had suddenly come crashing together as one, my secret life as a stripper revealed to the most untrustworthy and shallow people on the entire campus. I knew it wouldn't be long before the whole f*cking college knew, and it was all Tess' fault.
I heard her voice once more growing close as her silhouette appeared against the night sky in the distance, following after me. I stood and look on as she approached, her face swollen in guilt, her breathing heavy as she slowed in front of me.
“Alice, I'm so sorry....I had no idea that would happen.”
I said nothing. I just stared at her in anger.
“I just wanted Tom to like me, I thought that would work. I never thought Tatiana would bring you into it. I'm sorry, I didn't think...”
“That's just it isn't it Tess.” My voice was scathing, boiling over. “You never f*cking think, not unless it's about you. Do you have any idea what you've done. I could get chucked out of college when people find out about this.”
The gravity of what she'd done dawned on her, her voice growing in remorse as she continued to apologize. “It's OK, I'll go back, I'll tell them not to say anything, not to tell anyone.”
“You think they'll listen, you think they'll give a shit. They're all as f*cking selfish as you.” I threw the words at her violently, hoping to inflict damage.
“You've ruined everything Tess, everything,” I continued. “Thanks - you're such a great friend.”
With that I turned from her and carried on walking away, hearing her sobbing behind me and calling for me to come back. I didn't stop. I didn't turn. I kept walking, not knowing where my feet would take me.