CHAPTER FORTY
Thunk.
Thunk.
Thunk.
Thunk.
I had been standing in the meadow for two hours, throwing my knife over and over again. It was a small stump, and I rarely missed anymore. I had trampled the wild mustard down into a straight neat path from going to retrieve the knife. There were only a few stray throws when I had allowed my mind to wander.
Thunk.
Thunk.
And then the whir, the chink, the swish of it missing its mark and disappearing into the tall grass behind the stump. Walther’s words, Walther’s face, Walther’s anguish wouldn’t leave me. I tried to sort it all into something that made sense, but there was no sense, not when it came to murder. Greta wasn’t a soldier. The baby hadn’t even drawn a first breath. Savages. I went to find my knife, lost somewhere in the grass.
“Lia?”
I turned. It was Kaden. He swung down from his horse. I knew by his manner he had heard something, probably from hushed voices in the tavern.
“How did you find me?”
“It wasn’t hard.”
The meadow bordered the road leading out of town. I supposed I was in full view of anyone passing by.
“Berdi said you and Rafe went out early this morning. Before sunup.” I listened to the flatness of my voice. It sounded like it belonged to someone else.
“I don’t know where Rafe went. I had some arrangements to take care of.”
“The duties you spoke of.”
He nodded.
I looked at him, his hair blowing in the breeze, a white burnished gold in the bright midday sun. His eyes rested on me, sure and steady.
I kissed his cheek. “You’re a good person, Kaden. Steadfast and true to your duty.”
“Lia, can I—”
“Go away, Kaden,” I said. “Go away. I need time to think about my own duties.”
I turned and walked back through the meadow, not waiting to see if he listened to me or not, but I heard his horse trot off. I retrieved my knife from the grass and threw it again.
Her dress was blue. The baby was moving.
I have to do something, Lia. I have to do something.
This time I saw more than Walther’s face. More than Greta’s.
I saw Bryn. I saw Regan.
I saw Pauline.
I have to do something.