TWENTY-SEVEN
SHE TOLD THIS TO NO ONE IN THE YEARS FOLLOWING HER DEPARTURE from her father and Dark House and the beginning of her life as caregiver for Grehling. Few who lived outside the walls of the building had ever seen her; fewer still knew who she was. During her early years, she was kept tucked away in rooms of her own and not allowed outside the building without an escort. She was fed, clothed, and educated in the manner of girls who were fortunate enough to enjoy a better social standing in the city, but she was denied their companionship. Dark House was her home, but it was also her prison.
She never knew her mother; she never even found out what happened to her. Her mother was simply never there, and no one would talk about her. She was raised by the women who worked for her father, raised in a home where strange men came and went by the hour, raised in dark and oppressive and carefully guarded surroundings that, by the end of things, she came to hate. She might have grown up there, but by the time she left to help look after and raise Grehling, she had come to realize the truth about her father.
“So that’s how you got us into Dark House so easily,” Paxon said. “They knew who you were because that’s where you grew up.”
They were walking back to the airfield, Paxon getting ready to leave for Paranor and the Druids.
“Some of them did. I feel badly about deceiving Fentrick. He used to play with me as a child. He and I were great friends at a time when I had no other friends. Now that’s gone.”
“You did it for me,” the Highlander acknowledged. “I am very grateful.”
“Don’t think you’re so special, Paxon,” she said quickly. “I did it because it was the right thing to do. I knew when Grehling brought Chrysallin to my front door that if I let them inside, I was crossing a line. Everything would change, and the past—maybe all of it—would be wiped away. I made that choice. That’s all.”
“Was it your father who gave you the flash rip?” he asked
“He thought I needed better protection living away from Dark House. He made me promise never to tell anyone I had it. That’s all I really want to say about it just now. I would appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to Grehling. He thinks a lot of me, and he might have a hard time understanding. I already told him I had nothing to do with Arcannen.”
Paxon nodded. “I won’t say anything to him or anyone else. There’s no need. I’m just glad you’re all right. I was worried when I saw you slammed into that wall. By your own father.”
“My own father regards me as a failed experiment. I am an embarrassment to him. He wants me to be his daughter, and he can’t understand why that is so difficult for me.”
“But he attacked you!”
“In his eyes, I attacked him first. I allied myself with you, his enemy. I severed whatever ties remained between us. He had taken pains to do special favors for me in the past, even after I left, even though I never asked for them. I think after this, maybe that part of my life is over.”
They were nearing the airfield now, the first of the masts and light sheaths of the moored vessels rising up ahead of them. “Don’t misunderstand me,” she added quickly. “I’ve wanted it to be over for a long time. There’s really nothing between us now but our blood ties. I’m glad he’s gone. And not likely to be back anytime soon.”
Paxon gave her a rueful look. “You’ll probably think the same thing about me once I’ve left, knowing what I was thinking about you.”
She nodded. “I might. You don’t seem to have a very high opinion of me.”
“I made an assumption about what you were doing in Dark House that I shouldn’t have made. I apologize. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“I’ve never had a problem with what people think about me. You included.”
“After what you did for me, how you helped me with your father, the way you stood by me when I was in danger? I will never forget that. And I don’t want you to be angry with me. I like you a lot. I want us to stay friends.”
She regarded him coolly. “It might be possible,” she said. “Why don’t we wait and see?”
At the airfield, Grehling came rushing out to meet them, throwing his arms around Leofur, who rolled her eyes and then hugged him back. The boy hugged Paxon, as well, and asked to hear the whole story of what had happened to them in Wayford. Paxon told him, Leofur adding bits and pieces here and there, but he was careful to stay away from the family connection between the young woman and the sorcerer.
“You did the right thing, taking the potion so you could help Chrys,” Grehling announced. “You can always go after Arcannen later. You can find him again, if you really want to.”
“I hope you’re right,” he said, ruffling the boy’s hair.
“In fact, I’ll go with you!” Grehling declared. “I can help you track him down and bring him back. I can be your pilot. Can’t I, Leofur?”
She gave him a smile. “You can be anyone’s pilot. No one knows more about airships than you do.”
Paxon reached out to shake the boy’s hand. “You and me, then. We’ll talk about it another time.”
Grehling ran off, and Paxon turned to Leofur. “I meant what I said. I won’t ever forget what you did for me. I hope I see you again. I hope you will want to see me.”
She stepped back, looked him over, and shrugged. “I’ve seen worse than you come through my life. Let’s think about it. Go back to Chrys for now. Take care of her. Help her get better. Put all the bad things behind you for a while. Then let me know if you decide I’m not one of them.”
So he flew out of Wayford aboard his skiff, setting a course for Paranor. He could have used at least a few hours of sleep before going, but he couldn’t wait to return to Chrysallin and give her the potion. He tried unsuccessfully to convince himself that it would work, that Arcannen had not deceived him, that Leofur knew her father better than anyone probably did. One way or the other, he had to find out if there was any chance his sister could be cured. Putting it off only made matters worse.
He traveled through the remainder of the day and into nightfall, a solitary craft in the growing darkness, its masts and railings fore and aft lit by running lamps and guided by the stars. He passed back over the Rainbow Lake and up the channel of the Runne River to the Dragon’s Teeth. It was nearing midnight by the time the lights of the Druid’s Keep came into view and he felt the first twinges of serious doubt about what he was doing.
The possibilities he envisioned were almost too much for him to face.
What if Arcannen had given him poison, and he was meant to poison his own sister as retribution for the trouble he had caused the sorcerer?
What if the potion was something other than a remedy? What if it was intended to turn Chrys into something terrible?
What if it was useless, a mix of water and coloring? What if it made her worse?
But he tamped down his fears because in his heart he believed it would work and Chrys would be made well.
He set down the skiff on the landing platform, climbed out, and hurried into the Keep. A few of the Trolls serving as Druid Guards took note, but none of them spoke to him. Once inside, he went straight to the healing center. Almost everyone there was asleep, including the Healers, but Paxon ignored them all and went into the room where they had been keeping Chrys when he left.
She was still sleeping, but he managed to wake her; the sleep potion was beginning to wear off by now. He helped her sit up, whispering to her that he was back and could help her. But even so she made no response and went right back to staring into space without seeing anything. Nothing had changed. He spoke her name, hugged her, talked to her a bit, and waited for an indication that she was in any way better. She was not. There was no sign of recognition, no awareness.
He brought out the bottle with the potion in it and held it out where she would see it. “I want you to drink this. I want you to trust me.” He hesitated, wondering if he should give her any sort of warning about other possibilities. In the end, he simply said, “I love you.”
Then he put the bottle to her lips, tipped her head back slightly, and poured the liquid into her mouth. He watched her throat work as she swallowed. When she had taken it all, he held her by the shoulders and waited for a response.
Nothing.
He continued to wait, the minutes passing and the room’s silence deepening. He peered into her eyes, looking for something to reveal itself. Finally, her eyes closed and she slumped into his arms. For a terrible instant, he thought he had killed her, that his worst fears had come true. But then he felt her throat and watched the rise and fall of her chest, and realized she was sleeping.
He took the chair she had vacated and sat watching her for a long time afterward, mulling over what he had done, telling himself he had not made a mistake, that the fact she was sleeping was a good sign. Time passed, and his thoughts drifted to the events of yesterday. He relived his battle with Arcannen, rueful and disappointed that he had failed to bring the sorcerer back to Paranor, that he had in some way failed Starks. He found Leofur’s face continually resurfacing amid his other thoughts. He could see her expressions, hear her voice, and recall the way she moved.
He could not stop thinking about her.
At some point, he fell asleep.
He was still sleeping when cool fingers touched his cheek and a familiar voice called his name. He stirred awake, sleep-fogged and lethargic. Hands gripped his shoulders and fingers squeezed gently. Leofur, he thought.
But when he opened his eyes, he was staring at Chrysallin.
“Chrys,” he whispered.
She nodded, tears in her eyes. “Where have you been?”
“I came as quickly as I could. I’m sorry it took so long.”
“I was afraid, Paxon.”
“I know.”
She gave him a puzzled look. “But I can’t remember why. I can’t remember any of it.”
He smiled. “It doesn’t matter now. It’s all over. You’re where you belong.”
And she hugged him to her.
He waited for the Druid Healers to arrive and then went straight to bed. He should have gone to the Ard Rhys, but he couldn’t make himself do anything more. He was so exhausted he didn’t think he could put words together to tell her what had happened. It didn’t matter now, anyway. Chrys was well. The struggle to save her was over. Everything else could wait.
He slept then and did not come awake again until it was almost midday. It took him a long time even then to make himself climb out of bed, wash, dress, and go off to give his report to the Ard Rhys. He took a few minutes to stop at the healing center and let the Druid Healers treat the injuries he had incurred battling Arcannen and Mischa’s creature before continuing on to find the Ard Rhys.
He was almost to her chambers when he passed Oost Mondara in the hallway.
“You are a whole lot of trouble, Paxon Leah,” the Gnome declared abruptly, coming to a stop. “Why is it you aren’t ever where you’re supposed to be?”
Then he glowered at the speechless Highlander enigmatically before continuing on.
Aphenglow Elessedil was still in her office when he knocked. She rose to greet him and embraced him warmly. “We were very worried about you, Paxon. Sit down and tell me everything that happened.”
He did so, omitting only the part about Leofur’s relationship with Arcannen. It took him a while to go through it all, but the Ard Rhys sat quietly and did not interrupt. He took special pains to describe the difficulty he experienced in letting Arcannen escape after he had brought him to bay, choosing to help Chrys rather than capturing the sorcerer.
“I think you made the right choice. I spoke to her earlier today.” She smiled at the look on his face. “The Healers told me she was fully recovered. But I had to see for myself. I had to know how she would react to me. It was all done carefully and with an eye toward her safety. She did not attack me. She didn’t even know who I was.”
“So Arcannen was telling the truth after all?”
“It seems so. She remembers almost nothing of what happened to her. Certainly nothing of her torture and her suffering. Not even much about Mischa—just a vague memory of an old woman.”
“She doesn’t remember any of it? Not the black creature or the gray-haired woman? Not the escape with Grehling?”
“She remembers the boy helping her. She just doesn’t remember any of the things related to the nightmares and the pain. I didn’t want to ask her too much all at once. There will be time for that later. There is one thing, though. And I wanted to ask you before pursuing it. She doesn’t remember anything about using the wishsong.”
“I wasn’t there when it happened,” he said, “but I guessed that was what it was from the description Grehling gave. Chrys had never used it before then; there was never anything to indicate she had inherited it. I don’t think she knew.”
Aphenglow nodded, her brow wrinkling, her face thoughtful. “There is a history of it surfacing in various members of the Ohmsford family after they have reached a certain age. It doesn’t always manifest itself right away. In Chrysallin’s case, I would guess the shock of what she experienced at the hands of Mischa and the threat of having to go through it again brought it out. Chrys just reacted to her fears by voicing them, and the magic came alive.”
“But she doesn’t remember it now?”
“Not a bit of it. My dilemma is what to do about that. She harbors a powerful magic. She’s locked it away inside, but it could surface again at any point. What do we do? Do we let it be or do we find a way to reveal it to her and teach her to master its use?”
“If she doesn’t remember now, maybe she won’t remember at all. I don’t think she should be reminded of anything that happened.” His voice tightened. “I don’t want her put through anything else right away, Mistress.”
“Nor do I,” she said. “I think we should let her be. But I wanted to hear you say it. For the time being, at least, while she is still healing, we should keep it to ourselves. Maybe she will remember at some point, and when she does we will have to be ready to tell her the truth. Now, tell me how you are.”
He said he was fine, a bit battered and bruised, some scrapes and burns, but no broken bones. He had been to the healing center before coming to her and was treated for his injuries. Mostly, it was feeling good about Chrys that strengthened him.
“She’ll remain with us for as long as she wishes—certainly until we know there are no aftereffects from what she went through.” She paused. “One thing more. Are you well enough to undertake a short journey?”
The way she said it told him she was expecting him to say yes. It also told him this was important, and she wanted him to be a part of whatever was going to happen.
“I can travel,” he answered.
“I have something I need to do, and it isn’t going to be very pleasant. But as protector of the Druids—officially now, your trial period is over—I need you to bear witness. We leave in the morning.”
She dismissed him then, leaving him to wonder at the nature and purpose of her mysterious outing.