“That wouldn’t work for me. It would put me out of business.”
Anina laughed. “You’re the worst, Don Vincenzo.”
“I know. That’s why I don’t get the fancy assignments. I’m the quick-fix priest, the bubble gum they stuff in the holes of a boat about to capsize, hoping it won’t sink.”
“I’m sorry, Don Vincenzo. You have a lot of pressure on you.”
“And so do you. And so does every person who tries to love. That’s my point. But that’s also the job. You want to be a wife? Get ready to work like a farmer. When you’ve solved one dilemma, here comes a new set of problems. When you’re serious about love, you’ve got to be just as serious in your commitment to work at it. No running away. No moving out. No disappearing. It wouldn’t help anyway. You can’t outrun your pain because it can be as stubborn as love.”
“Should I marry Paolo?”
“Only if you expect the worst. A wise woman once said that the bride should wear black and the widow white. The bride mourns the loss of hope and the widow is finally free of the pain.”
“I can’t get the picture of what he did out of my mind.”
“The memory is often the monster, not the transgression itself. Being unfaithful is not a part of love or a rejection of it—it’s a lack of will. I’m sure you have experienced a lack of will in your own life.”
“I have.”
“So then you know what he did was a failure of his will, but not of his love.” Don Vincenzo got up and went to his desk drawer, where he punched a tablet of Nicorette gum off the sleeve and popped it into his mouth. He chewed. “What do you want out of life, Anina?”
“I wanted to get married and have a family with the man I love.”
“It’s a job.”
“I guess it is, Padre.”
“It’s a tough job if you don’t know who you are. A mother is not just a loving presence in a family who cooks and cleans up and comforts the children. She sets the example and teaches the family, including her husband, how to love. She has to know herself. If she doesn’t, she’s going to look to the people she loves to fill her up. That’s a terrible burden to put on your husband and children. A job, on the other hand, can soak up a lot of the ambition and ego we have so we are free to love once we get home. Look at it like the heel of the bread that soaks up the sauce at the end of the meal. You take the last bite and the plate is clean. Has Paolo gotten a job?”
“Not yet.”
“And you?”
“I’m going to fill in at Cabrelli’s for the manager when she goes on maternity leave.”
“Hmm.” The priest folded his arms across his chest.
“Did Paolo cheat on me because he doesn’t have a job?”
“I don’t know.” Don Vincenzo looked at her. “Do you think he kissed another woman because you don’t have job?”
“I don’t know.” Anina was confused. “What does my job have to do with anything?”
“When you find your purpose in life, it changes you. You see things differently. More clearly. You love more and better. You solve problems and are able to help others solve theirs because you stand in strength. You live in the whole world, not in your small corner of it. You serve.”
Don Vincenzo moved to the door to bring Paolo back into his office. Anina, who hoped to leave Don Vincenzo’s office with an answer, had found it. No one would be more surprised than Anina when she decided to follow her heart.
CHAPTER 25
As Anina unlocked the entrance door of Cabrelli Jewelers promptly at eight a.m., her grandfather was bent over the bruting wheel in the back room. The high-pitched hum of the wheel was the sound of her childhood. She and her brother came to the shop every day after school and waited for Nicolina to pick them up. Anina called out to Olimpio, locked the door behind her, and hung her purse on a hook behind the desk before flipping on the lights in the empty showcases.
Anina unlocked the safe and pulled the jewelry inventory out, lining up the storage trays on the glass counter. She counted the diamond rings and cross-checked them against the manager’s inventory list. She arranged gold hoop earrings on their stands and positioned them in the case. She placed the pin light directly on the platinum hoops studded with sapphires.
She moved the brooches around like chess pieces, until each one was displayed to its ultimate advantage. Most shoppers had no idea what they were looking for. It was up to the salesperson to present the possibilities, Olimpio had taught her. The customer was buying a piece of jewelry and a story. Anina observed that women bought pieces that reminded them of happy times. When men bought jewelry for someone they cared about, they wanted it to be the best.
“All set, Nonno. The cases are done.”
Olimpio took off his work goggles, went into the showroom, and checked Anina’s work. “You’ve got an eye.”
Anina began to cry. “I haven’t been paid a compliment in a long time. I’m sorry.”
“Paolo doesn’t pay you compliments?”
“We’re fighting a lot. Things were better after we went to Don Vincenzo, and now they’re bad again. He says I don’t pay enough attention to him. I think it’s because I’m worried about Nonna. I’d like to come and stay with you. I could help you and help her get better.”
“The day may come when we need you, but not now. I’ll take care of my Matelda, and you need to take care of your Paolo.”
Anina raised the shades and unlocked the front door. A customer waited on the sidewalk. Anina opened the door and smiled. “Welcome to Cabrelli’s.” The bells jingled as Anina went behind the counter to serve her.
* * *