And somehow, in an awful way that sometimes felt like a betrayal, it also had set her free.
It wasn’t Adu who worried her. It was Margo, Joel’s high-powered assistant, who had protected him from the outside world and run his life and diary with exceptional ruthlessness. Suddenly Flora wished they hadn’t decided that it would have been ridiculous for them to turn up together. She wanted Joel there, his quiet presence calming her, her amazement every time she felt him by her side, as if every hair in her body lifted when he entered a room, like a sunflower gravitating towards him. She knew, deep down, it wasn’t right to be so amazed, to be so bowled over.
She had handed him her heart in her hands without truly knowing whether this quiet, enclosed man could be trusted with it. But it had gone; it had flown from her as if it had always been his, regardless of what he wanted to do with it. She sighed. Maybe she wouldn’t see Margo. Maybe she wouldn’t see anyone.
‘SURPRISE!’
Flora blinked. Her old desk, situated in an open-plan space and now occupied by a slightly insultingly young-looking girl called Narinder, was covered in balloons, and standing behind it, looking jolly, was her best work friend, Kai. Never one to let things pass undercelebrated, he had covered her desk with cakes and bottles of fizz, and everyone she knew (and many she didn’t: things moved fast at the firm, but who cared when cake was involved?) was standing round, looking pink and cheerful.
‘Hooray!’ shouted Kai. ‘You’re making it out of here alive!’
Everyone cheered, and Flora also went pink. ‘Och, I’m only … I mean, I’m in the middle of nowhere,’ she muttered.
Kai said, ‘Listen to you, you’ve gone all Scottish and you’ve only been away five minutes.’ He popped a cork and poured fizz into plastic cups, and more people arrived every minute. Flora had kept her head down and worked incredibly hard for the four years she’d spent there, and she was touched by how many people came up to thank her for what she’d done or to say how much they’d miss her.
‘See?’ said Kai. ‘You think no one ever notices you.’
‘Come on, serve free cake and they could be saying bye to a pencil sharpener,’ said Flora, but she was pleased nonetheless.
One older woman, one of the senior lawyers, who Flora had always looked up to as almost impossibly suave and glamorous, took her aside. She was on her second glass of fizz.
‘Tell me about Mure,’ she said. ‘Are there jobs there?’
‘Well, tourism mostly,’ said Flora. ‘Catering, always. Farming if you like. It’s not easy up there to make a living. Doctors and teachers always welcome.’
The woman nodded. ‘It was my dream, you know,’ she said. ‘To move away. To make money here, then go somewhere beautiful where I could …’ She smiled. ‘This sounds silly, I know. But where I could set myself free.’
Flora nodded. She knew what she meant.
‘You could,’ said Flora. ‘You could go any time. It’s not expensive to buy a house or anything. The people are nice. And there are lots of English people there,’ she said, encouragingly. ‘I mean, we have shops and everything. Well. Three shops. Okay, forget what I said about the shops.’
The woman smiled sadly. ‘Oh, I’m too old to start over now, I think. Everything I know is here, and, well … But you doing it … amazing. I think it’s amazing. I look at your Facebook.’
‘Oh,’ said Flora.
‘And it’s so beautiful and … well. I’m jealous. That’s all.’
And she patted Flora on the arm, rubbed briefly at her eyes and sashayed off on her amazing high heels which cost more than Annie’s Seaside Kitchen turned over in a week. Flora watched her go.
‘So,’ said Kai. ‘There’s something else people want to know.’ He leaned in conspiratorially. ‘Spill!’
Flora blushed. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Shut up! You know exactly what I mean.’
Flora’s skin was so pale that she couldn’t possibly hide a blush. She went scarlet.
‘Seriously,’ said Hebe, an incredibly beautiful girl with polished skin and long braids. She was pretending to be joking but Flora didn’t think she was really. ‘I mean, why you? I mean, obviously you’re awesome and everything …’
Her voice trailed off.
‘Who are you talking about?’ said a voice. It was Narinder, her replacement.
‘She somehow pulled Joel Binder,’ said Hebe in the same tone of voice. ‘Basically, she held him hostage on an island until he gave in.’
‘That’s it exactly,’ said Flora, determined not to take the bait.
Narinder shook her head. ‘I never met him.’
‘You never did?’ said Kai. He googled the company’s home page and brought up the picture of him. It was an image Flora knew incredibly well – his smart suit, the thick brown curly hair, the horn-rimmed glasses, the strong jaw and slightly disconnected expression. It was all him. She couldn’t deny what she felt for him. Couldn’t downplay it.
‘Look at her!’ said Kai. ‘She’s off in a dream. Are you choosing wedding dresses?’
‘No!’ said Flora furiously. ‘Shut up! I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘Why, is it over already?’ said Hebe. ‘Has he definitely resigned too?’
‘He’s coming in next week,’ said Flora defiantly.
‘Are you a hundred per cent sure about that?’
Kai sensed the situation was getting a little out of hand. ‘Come on,’ he said, steering Flora away. ‘Early lunch. Bye, everyone. Tell my clients I’m on it.’
‘Bring back the real story!’ shouted Hebe.
‘Actually, I hate her. She can’t have any cake,’ said Flora as Kai ushered her along, picking up her bagful of belongings – which included a pretty pair of spare shoes in a ballerina style that would be rendered instantly useless by the mud of the farmyard in almost any season Mure had to offer and some expensive Chanel lipstick she’d bought to cheer herself up once following a disastrous Tinder date. It felt like another life.
She was pondering this as they waited for the lift and then, just when they were nearly out of danger, Margo strode up to her. Flora’s heart sank. Which was ridiculous. Margo had been the closest thing to an intimate Joel had ever had at the company. He had lots of acquaintances but hardly any friends as far as she could tell. He’d had a million girls, which she tried not to think about too much, but very few girlfriends who’d lasted longer than a week or so. He had no family, or at least not the type she would recognise. He may carry on talking to Margo. He might even – and Flora felt a momentary panic at the thought – want to continue working with her once they’d sorted out his move.
‘Hello.’
Margo looked at her as if she hadn’t recognised her first off. Then she smiled. ‘Flora MacKenzie,’ she said.
There was a long pause. Where the hell was that stupid lift? Kai suddenly was very interested in his phone.
Margo cleared her throat. ‘So, how’s Joel?’
Flora again went bright pink. ‘Um, he’s great.’
‘And is he … in Scotland right now?’
She said ‘Scotland’ like someone might say ‘Candyland’: a ridiculous and temporary concept.
‘Um, no,’ said Flora. ‘He’s in New York at the moment, working for Colton.’
At this Margo’s face brightened. ‘Of course he is,’ she said. ‘I knew he wouldn’t be able to stay in the country for long.’
She sniffed as the lift finally arrived and Flora and Kai went to step inside.
‘No, but, he’s, but …’
Kai jostled Flora into the lift as she stumbled over her words.
‘Very nice to see you,’ said Margo, walking on. ‘Good luck with everything!’
‘She’s just jealous,’ said Kai, two cocktails later.
Flora stuck out her bottom lip. ‘No, she’s just like everyone else! She doesn’t think it’s possible for people to change!’
There was a delicate pause. Kai had known Joel’s self-obsessed, diffident ways for as long as Flora had.
‘And he has, right? I mean, of course he has.’
Flora bit her lip. ‘Yes,’ she said stiffly. ‘Of course he has.’
Chapter Six