I stare at the long mirror hanging in my room. Even when I back up as far as I can I can’t see my entire body. My room is too small. I had straightened my hair, put on my best jeans and a black T-shirt, and laced up my purple boots. Nothing new. I wrestled with the fact that this wasn’t a good idea at all. In eight hours from this minute I have to be awake and getting ready for work. Knowing how bad-off the store is makes me feel guilty. Like I haven’t done enough. For the hundredth time I tell myself that I don’t have to stay long. Just make my appearance and leave.
My mom walks by my room then backs up. “I thought you left already.”
“No, and I don’t have to leave if you need me.”
“Caymen, I’m fine. Now get out of here. You look amazing.”
As I walk the five blocks to Scream Shout, I take in my surroundings. Old Town looks like it belongs in a western movie. All the storefronts are made of vertical siding or red brick. Some stores even have saloon-style swinging doors. The sidewalks are cobblestone. The only things missing are the horizontal posts to tie off the horses in front of the stores. Instead there is a wide street and diagonal parking curbs. The ocean is several blocks away, but on a quiet night I can hear it and I can always smell it. I take a deep breath.
Two doors down from our doll store is a dance studio, and I’m surprised to see the lights all on this late at night. Wide-open windows on a dark night make everything inside as clear as on a movie screen. There is a girl inside, probably my age, dancing in front of a wall of mirrors. The graceful movements of her body prove she’s been studying for years. I wonder why some people seem to be born knowing what they want to do with their lives and others—mostly me—have no idea. I sigh and continue my walk to the club.
Scream Shout is packed with locals tonight. I recognize some people from school and nod hello. The stage can barely be called that. It’s more like a rickety platform. Mismatched tables fill the area around it and a bar lines one wall. There are so many people I actually have to search out Skye.
“Hey,” she says when I join her. Her hair is extra pink tonight, and I feel drab standing next to her.
“Hi. It’s crowded tonight.”
“I know. So cool. You must’ve made a good impression on Tic because he was just asking if I thought you’d show up.” She nods her head to a door off the side of the stage where I assume the band is getting ready.
“Must we call him that?” I haven’t decided what my impression of Mason is. But it must’ve been something or I wouldn’t be standing here, giving up sleep.
“Yes, we must, Caveman.”
“Please. Not you, too, Die.”
She laughs. “I know, they’re pretty awful, aren’t they? It makes me laugh when you call Henry Toad, though.”
“How’s it going with Toad anyway?”
“Pretty good.” Skye is extremely loyal. Henry would have to do something blatantly horrible for her to break up with him at this point. Not that he would. Aside from his heinous abuse of nicknames, Henry is decent.
I look back at the stage, waiting for its occupants. “I’m guessing tonight you’re going to be madly in love with him because he’s about to go all rock star on you.”
“For sure.” She smiles. “And you are about to fall madly in love with Tic because his voice is like honey.”
She’s right. About the honey part at least. As he starts to sing I can’t take my eyes off him. His voice has a soft, raspy quality to it that makes me want to sway with the beat. When I hear Skye giggling beside me I’m finally pulled from the trance.
“I told you,” she says when I look at her.
“What? I was just listening. It’s rude not to listen.”
She laughs again.
When the last song is over Mason jumps off the stage and disappears into the back with the other guys. Henry comes out first, and he and Skye make out for a while right in front of me. Gross. Why do I suddenly wish I had someone to make out with? I’m good at being alone. I’ve pretty much mastered it. So what’s changed? Xander’s lip-biting smile flashes through my mind. No. I shake the image away.
Just when I’m sure that if I take a saliva sample from Skye’s mouth it will come back with Henry’s DNA, I say, “Okay, enough.”
Skye pulls away laughing and Henry pretends like he just realized I was standing there. Right.
“S’up?” he says, then leans over to the bar and asks for some ice water. He takes it and we search for a table. There are no open ones so we just stand in the corner talking.
Eventually Mason comes out and throws one arm around my neck. His T-shirt is sticky with sweat and almost reverses the effect his singing had on me. “Hey, Caymen, you came.”
“Here I am.”
“How’d we do tonight?”
“Really good.”
“Did you bring any old ladies with you?” He looks around like this is a valid possibility.
“Almost, but she canceled on me last-minute. I guess some metal-head band was playing downtown tonight.”
“Which band?” Henry asks, and Mason starts laughing.
“It was a joke, idiot,” he says.
“Don’t call me an idiot.”
“Then don’t act like one.”
Henry pouts, and Skye says, “You’re not an idiot, babe.” Then they start making out again. Ugh. Seriously.
“Do you want something to drink?” Mason asks, leading me toward an abandoned table.
“Yes, please.”
I sit down and he comes back with two bottles of beer. He holds one out for me.
I put up my hands. “Oh, I don’t drink. I’m seventeen.”
“So? I’m nineteen.”
“My mom says before I turn eighteen she still has the right to murder me.” My mom always tells me to blame it on her if I am ever in an uncomfortable situation. It seems to work well.
He laughs. “Okay, that’s cool.” He sits down next to me.
I watch him drink for a minute then say, “I’m going to get some water.”
“Oh.” He jumps back up. “Sit. I’ll get it.”
I watch him walk away and can’t decide if I’m feeling fluttery because I’m talking to the lead singer of a band or if it’s Mason. When two other girls approach him at the bar and he turns to talk to them, I realize it’s the first option. After all, I hardly know him. This makes me feel really shallow.
The bartender hands him my glass of ice water but Mason continues talking.
I stand, suddenly. I need to go. I have an early morning.
I walk to where we had left Skye and Henry and tap her on the shoulder. “Hey, I’m leaving.”
She pulls away from Henry. “Wait.” She looks around and spots Mason. “No, don’t leave. He always gets bombarded by girls. It’s not his fault.”
“I’m not worried about him. That’s not why I’m leaving.” At least that’s what I’m trying to convince myself. “I just have to work in the morning. I’ll see you soon.”
I walk away to say good-bye to Mason and hear her say, “Wait, we’re walking you.”
As we pass Mason I wave and mouth bye. But Skye says out loud, “We’re walking Caymen home.”
He gives me the wait motion with his hand and nods politely to the girl in front of him, finishing up whatever conversation they were having. He sets the ice water he’d ordered on the bar, then he’s by my side. “I’m coming, too.”
Henry and Skye walk in front of us, talking quietly. Mason drapes his arm around my shoulder. I’m learning quickly that he’s a touchy kind of guy. We’re silent for a block.
“I didn’t realize you had to leave so early,” he finally says.
“Yeah. I have work in the morning.”
“We play again next week.”
I’m not sure if he is inviting me or making small talk so I just nod.
“Thanks,” I say when we get to the shop and I pull the keys out of my pocket.
He leans toward me, and because it never crosses my mind that he would try to kiss me no matter how touchy-feely he is and with witnesses, I don’t back up fast enough and am shocked when his lips meet mine. They’re surprisingly soft. “Oh, uh . . . wow,” I say, pulling back.