“I’m sorry, but unless you have an appoint—”
“Child, I want to be very clear about something.” She pointed to the glass door, no doubt with a magnetic lock on it, that separated the reception area from the rest of the floor. “I am about to try that door, and once I’m through it I’m going to Amit Nohamapetan’s office, and I’m going to try the door there. If both doors don’t open for me, I am going to do two things. One, I am going to file suit in the Guild Court of Grievances against the House of Nohamapetan for obstruction of investigation, which as you probably don’t know is a very serious charge and will cost the House of Nohamapetan hundreds of thousands of marks to defend against. And then they’ll lose, at which point millions of marks will flow from their accounts into mine, and you’ll be fired for having caused an easily avoidable interhouse argument. Two, I’ll sue you as well, and let the House of Nohamapetan know I’ll be happy to drop my suit against them if they fire you. And then, between our two houses, we’ll make sure that you never work in any capacity ever again, and that the rest of your life is spent never earning more than the Interdependency minimum benefit, or if you do, that everything you earn above the IMB is garnished and sent to me. And I will spend it on champagne, toasting your misery. Are we entirely clear on this?”
The receptionist gaped and then buzzed the door.
“Thank you,” Huma said, and swept through. Kiva once again followed.
Amit’s office was on a far corner of the floor and large, with impeccable furniture and wide windows that looked out on the Hubfall business district. He and two other people sat in gorgeously comfortable chairs at a table, and all of them seemed surprised when Huma and Kiva appeared in their midst.
Huma pointed at the two who were not Amit. “You and you. Fuck off right now,” she said.
They turned to Amit, who nodded. They fucked off. Huma and Kiva sat in their vacated seats.
Amit looked at them, and then reached over to the table and picked up a tablet, which was flashing a message alert on it. He read it. “Apparently you threatened my receptionist, Countess Lagos,” he said. “Also, that’s not how an obstruction of investigation charge works and you know it.” He tossed the tablet back on the table and considered his two guests. “Now, to what do I owe the genuinely unexpected pleasure of your presence?”
“One, your family sabotaged our product on End,” Huma said.
“I don’t know anything about that,” Amit said.
“Well, I do, and our lawyers will be speaking to yours about that. Two, your family has interfered in my daughter’s ability to conduct business on End by influencing the duke there to illegally escrow and use our revenues.”
Amit glanced at Kiva. “Ah, Lady Kiva. I thought I recognized you. I believe you were friendly with both my sister and brother at one time.”
“‘Friendly’ isn’t the word I’d use,” Kiva said.
“Perhaps not,” Amit said, agreeably, and then turned his attention back to Huma. “Interference of trade is a serious charge, ma’am, so I assume our lawyers will be discussing that as well. I do not need to remind you that the Court of Grievances is very sensitive to being used as a way for one house to intimidate another. So if you bring a suit and lose, the House of Nohamapetan will get lawyers’ fees and treble that in damages. And our lawyers are very good and thus very expensive.”
“We won’t lose. We’re also bringing charges against your brother Ghreni for attempted murder, attempted kidnapping, conspiracy to both, sabotage of a guild vessel, piracy, and extortion.”
“What?” Amit said, less genially.
“The little fucker planted a bomb on my ship and sent pirates after one of my passengers,” Kiva said.
“And yes, Amit, we have all the evidence we need to make those charges stick,” Huma said. “We have Kiva, and the victim of the attempted kidnapping and murder, and the crew of the Yes, Sir all willing to testify.”
“Plus the security recordings of the attempted murder, and the confession of the hit man, and the recordings of the communications between the Yes, Sir and the pirate vessel,” Kiva added, helpfully.
Huma nodded. “There is that slight complication that Ghreni is at least a year and a half away, which makes it difficult for him to be recalled to stand trial. But with the evidence we have, I think we can convince both the guild and parliament to issue a bill of attainder.”
“And since the little shit was the authorized representative of the House of Nohamapetan on End, we’ll make sure the bill attaches to your house,” Kiva said. She was freestyling off of what her mother was saying, but she was pretty sure she knew what her mother was up to and that this was where she was going with it. So why the fuck not.
“I can guarantee you that the House of Nohamapetan is not engaged in any plan to destroy one of your ships,” Amit said.
“Don’t even try that, Lord Amit,” Huma said. “We all know your brother doesn’t have that much initiative. Neither do you, for that matter. If Ghreni is doing anything, he’s doing it under direction. If not from the House of Nohamapetan, then from someone in the House of Nohamapetan, which from our point of view is the same thing. We have no problem asking the guild and Interdependency courts to widen the scope of the conspiracy charge and investigate you, your sister, and indeed the entire fucking House of Nohamapetan.”
“That might be more difficult than you expect,” Amit said.
Huma snorted. “Just because you’re trying to land the emperox for your spouse doesn’t mean you or your house is immune to justice, Lord Amit. How is that going, by the way? Rumor is she’s notably resistant to your charms. She might even be relieved to find out you and your whole fucking family are being investigated.”
“The attempted murder victim is the son of a very good friend of her father, the former emperox,” Kiva noted, helpfully.
“Oh, well, all the more reason for her not to want to be seen anywhere near your felonious ass,” Huma said, to Amit.
“As a matter of fact I’m seeing her later today,” Amit said, only a little peevishly. “She’s touring our new tenner with me.”
“That’s adorable,” Huma remarked, and clapped her hands together. “Maybe I’ll have one of our people at Xi’an run over a précis of our complaint to her. You know, give you two lovebirds something to talk about while you tour your pretty new toy.”
Kiva was now looking at her mother in open admiration. Huma Lagos had always been someone with whom one would not wish to fuck, and Kiva had years of watching her mother argue and negotiate to draw from for her own skills with both. But it was always a joy to watch her mother deftly and profanely shove assholes like Amit Nohamapetan up against a wall, then reach down and squeeze (or reach in and twist, as the case might be). It was nice when you could look up to your parent, even as an adult, and think, This is who I fucking want to be when I grow up.
Amit sighed, brought his hand to his face, and rubbed it. “All right, Countess Lagos. What do you want?”
“Why, Lord Amit, whatever do you mean?”
“I mean that if you really wanted to bring a suit to the Court of Grievances or to the Interdependency courts, you would have just done it and surprised us with it. The fact you’re here in my office means you want this resolved another way. Fine. Tell me what you want.”
“I want to give the House of Nohamapetan a haircut.”
“I don’t even know what that means,” Amit said.
“It means that I have three things I want from you, and all of them are going to hurt.”
“What are they?”
“First, you fucked with our business. We can fight about it in the court, but you’re not going to like how it turns out.” Huma turned to Kiva. “How much revenue were we expecting from your trip?”
“A hundred million marks,” Kiva said.
“So you want a hundred million marks from us,” Amit said.
“I want two hundred million marks.”