The Candid Life of Meena Dave

They chatted for a bit longer. Once off the phone, Meena wandered around the apartment. She ran her fingers along the wall by the front door. Took a deep breath and exhaled. Then she went to her bedroom and grabbed the envelope. She dug out a pen and notebook. After a few minutes of thought, she wrote out a note, petty maybe, but it felt good. She pressed the metal clip together to open the envelope, slid in the note, then pressed it back in place. Then Meena ran up two flights of stairs and slid the envelope under Sabina’s door.

She’d responded to Sabina’s offer.

Because she didn’t want to ruin her good mood, Meena slipped out the front door and walked over Storrow Drive to the esplanade. Half the city was running, walking, biking, or sitting along the river. It was what the locals did on a warm day after a cold winter.

She smiled and waved at an older couple who walked past her from the other direction. She was going to be a local. She didn’t need Sabina to make her feel welcome. The city would; the other aunties and Sam would. Sabina might not have wanted her then or want her now, but Sabina’s wants, and wishes, would not define Meena’s life, would not prevent Meena from making her apartment a home.

She walked along the footpath with the earth firm beneath her sneakers.





CHAPTER FORTY-SIX


Meena played tug-of-war with Wally on the cold grass while Sam sat on the bench. Over the past week, they’d traded little items back and forth. He left her mostly food, while she left him a few gags, like a tuxedo T-shirt. On the back she’d written in block letters, Vora. Sam Vora. She’d drawn a tiny martini glass next to it for laughs. Last night they’d gone to pub trivia and come in fourth, which Ava had not been happy about. They had strict instructions to get it together for next week.

“He’s getting so big.” Meena lay on the ground, and Wally changed the game to climbing over her.

“Off.” Sam pointed to the floor.

Wally obeyed and sauntered away to sniff something by the fence.

Meena brushed off her jeans and sat on the bench. “He’s learning.”

“Finally.”

They watched him go from bush to bush, sniffing. He found a twig and played as if it were the best thing that had happened in his dog life. The sun warm on her face, Meena leaned back and curled her legs under her. It was a peaceful Sunday afternoon. Until Sabina came through Sam’s porch and into the yard.

“Hi, Sabina,” Sam greeted her. “Welcome back.”

Meena tilted her head. “Were you away?”

“I was visiting a cousin in New Jersey,” Sabina said. “Meena, I’d like to speak with you.”

“OK.”

“In private.”

Meena sat up. “It’s fine. Sam knows everything.”

The look of surprise on Sabina’s face was a small pleasure.

“I guess you didn’t want to keep it between us,” Sabina said.

“Auntie, I knew before,” Sam clarified. “Neha told me. A part of it.”

“You chose to fill her in. Chose Neha’s side.” Sabina turned to Sam, betrayal and hurt visible on her face.

For the first time, Meena could see age on Sabina’s face. Her usually flawless skin was pale, and there were more lines around her lips.

“It wasn’t Sam,” Meena said. “Neha left me notes.” She gave Sabina a short summary of Neha’s bread crumb trail. “We didn’t know about you until last week, when you admitted it.”

“We?”

“I trust Sam,” Meena said. “As I wrote declining the offer, I won’t ever speak of this again. I will keep your secret, but I’m not selling. I’m not leaving.”

Sabina visibly stiffened. “It doesn’t matter that I don’t want you here?”

That hurt. Meena had softened her heart to make room for others: Sam, Zoe, Tanvi, Wally . . . that made her vulnerable too. Hannah had taught her how to hold her own, and Meena could handle it. And whatever else came her way.

“Sam, tell her how it is,” Sabina pleaded. “If this is revealed, it will ruin me, this place, everything we’ve built here.”

“How so?” Meena asked. “I did write in my note that while I’m biologically your eldest, I’m not going to make claims on anything. I want to keep what I have, build on it. That’s enough.”

“Then what?” Sabina asked. “You’ll pass it down to your children? Continue the legacy?”

Meena stood. “If I have any, yes. Because whether you want me or not, I have the same birthright as you. More, considering both my biological parents have claim. You don’t have to like it, but it’s true.”

“It was a mistake,” Sabina said. “You were never supposed to find me, come back.”

Sam stood and put his hand on Meena’s back.

“I didn’t choose this.” Anger rose in Meena. “I wasn’t looking. I never wanted to find you. I didn’t think about you. Even when I lost my parents, I never thought, Hey, I still have a birth mother out there somewhere. Never. You didn’t exist to me. This was all Neha’s doing.”

“So then go,” Sabina said. “I am nothing to you, and you are no one to me. You can walk away with almost three million dollars and get on with your life.”

Meena hunched her shoulders and crossed her arms to protect herself. “You made a choice. When you were seventeen. I’m making one now. I will live with yours, and you can live with mine. We can be enemies or acquaintances, it’s up to you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Sabina looked up, lowered her arms, and made herself tall. “I see.” She turned to leave.

Meena knew she should let her go; she owed Sabina nothing, should want nothing from her. “The thing is,” Meena said, “I was sixteen years old for a very long time.”

Sabina stopped.

“Even in my twenties,” Meena continued, “I was older, I knew more about the world, how to navigate, move through, make a living. Inside I was still this young girl, frozen in time, by one event. I learned how to cope, to fake maturity, but the fear I carried with me, that was the fear of a little girl who’d lost everything. This place, not just the people in it but the history of this place, the one you are the curator for, gave me something, a past that hadn’t disintegrated into ashes. By coming here, by choosing to stay here, I finally let that sixteen-year-old girl grow. I hope you find a way to do the same.”

Sabina turned. There were tears in her eyes. The eyes she shared with Meena.

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