Meena got up from the couch. She needed to do something. Spending this much time in her head was unbearable. She flung open the apartment door. If anyone passed through the hall, she would talk to them. If it was one of the aunties, she’d face them, confront them, wait for an explanation. Flowers and hearts assaulted her, the former with their sharp scent, the latter with their overwhelming presence in the hallway.
Heart-shaped wreaths of fresh red and white roses hung on her and Sam’s doors. The inside staircase was laden with small red satin hearts tied to each baluster, a large white satin heart attached to the newel. The small hall table held a bouquet of preserved red roses with a giant silver ribbon around the vase, the diffuser making the hall smell like the queen’s rose garden.
Valentine’s Day. Of course. There wasn’t a holiday the aunties didn’t celebrate. She stepped outside to see what they’d done with the exterior of the building. Shivering in only her sweater, jeans, and socks, she made it to the front stoop to take in the large heart-shaped wreaths on the doors and the twinkle lights in red and white around the iron railings before rushing back inside.
Except she didn’t want to go back to the apartment. She didn’t want to be alone. Arms wrapped around herself, Meena paused. Four months ago she’d never thought of wanting company. Her work had afforded her enough interaction with different types of people that she hadn’t minded the time she spent alone. This was a different kind of need, though. She wanted not strangers and small talk but something deeper with someone she knew, who knew her.
On impulse, she knocked on Sam’s door. He was the one she wanted. She heard Wally bark as Sam opened the door. He was rumpled in another one of his long-sleeved T-shirts, this one with an MIT logo, and gray sweats. His eyes looked red behind his glasses. Meena fidgeted.
“Didn’t you hear me say come in?”
Meena shook her head. “Sorry. I was in my own head.”
Sam held the door wide and Meena walked through. Wally bounced out of his crate and ran toward her. At least the dog wanted to see her. She crouched down to give Wally proper love and gave in to the need to press her face into his fur. The loneliness of the week caught up with her, and she stayed there until Wally squirmed to escape her hold. She stood, uncertain, as the pup went back to his crate and gnawed on a toy.
“Do you want to grab lunch?” Meena asked.
Sam rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m on deadline and have a lot of work.”
His eyes were distant, focused on something other than her. She should go. She was bothering him.
“I’ll go. I don’t want to interrupt you.”
He took her by the hand. “I’m sorry. You need to talk and I’m here.”
She shook her head. “I was the one that told you I needed to be alone, and you respected that. I can’t come in here and expect you to drop everything now that I can no longer stand to be in my own skin.”
“Friends do that for each other,” Sam said. “Tell me.”
She paced in front of him. “There’s nothing to tell. I’m still angry at Neha, at the aunties, at everything. I want to confront them and blow it all out in the open.”
“Then do that,” Sam said. “Don’t plot or plan. Just go with the straightforward truth.”
“You don’t get it.” Meena winced at the high pitch in her voice. “I need to know if whichever auntie it is knows. And if she knows I know.”
“I’m lost.”
“If I hand them all of it on a platter, they could lie. Pretend they didn’t know, even if they did.”
Sam sighed and sat down. “So what do you want to do?”
Meena tapped her chin. “Drop hints. Different ones to each auntie. See what sort of reactions I get.”
“Are you sure you want to take the long way around?”
She crossed her arms in front of her. “I’m not sure of anything. For once, I want someone to recognize me. Tell me the truth. All of it.”
He nodded and stood. “I’ll help with whatever you need.”
She took his hands. His eyes looked tired. There was a stain on the front of his T-shirt, maybe from coffee. She reached up and touched his face. “I’m not going to put you in the middle of this.”
He put his hand over hers. “Too late.”
She smiled. “Thank you.”
He nodded.
Reluctant to let go, she stepped back and headed to the door. Before leaving she turned around and faced him. “Sam, I’m glad we’re friends.”
“Me too.”
She took another breath. “I think there could be something more here, and maybe, if you’re up for it, we should figure it out. If not, I totally understand. I don’t have a lot of experience in this. The last time I let myself genuinely like someone, it was Jason Lee in tenth grade.” She paused as a look of surprise crossed his face. She’d blurted it out, and he said nothing. “It’s OK if you aren’t interested. You don’t have to like me back.” Oh God, she was in high school again. “What I mean is, I would like us to go on a date, dinner, but this time a date. But if you don’t, just let me know, I can take rejection.”
Meena forced herself to stop talking. She wanted to run out of the apartment and leave the house, go for a long walk, maybe jump into the frigid Charles River to escape. “I’ll go,” she said.
“Wait,” Sam said. “That was a lot of words, my brain is still catching up.”
She put her hands on her hips. “How long is it going to take?”
He held up a finger. “You want to go out on a date?”
She nodded.
“First, yes. I’m saying yes so that we’re clear,” he said.
“And second?”
“Why now?”
Because I like the person that you are. “It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Maybe I’m giving in to societal pressure. Or maybe I just want to get out of the apartment and do something that’s not by myself. And you’re . . .”
“Convenient?”
“No,” Meena said. “You’re the opposite of that. If I wanted easy, I could go to a bar and find a stranger to pass the time with.”
“I see.”
“No pressure,” Meena said. “I’m not going to throw myself at you again. And I’m not saying that to make you feel bad. You’re perfectly within your rights to choose who you kiss.”
“Wait,” Sam said. “We’re kissing now?”
She put her face in her hands. Then she heard a little laugh. He stepped closer and pulled her hands away. “I’m teasing.”