He nodded as his eyes fell to my lips.
What my body wanted was never up for debate. The main thing stopping me was fear of where my head would take things after. I didn’t want to get attached to a man I’d deemed dangerous for me. And I also didn’t want to deal with everything else that came along with it, like having to admit what I’d done to Jasmine—even if she’d already encouraged me to go for him. Aside from all that, I couldn’t deny that I wanted him more than I’d wanted anything in a very long time.
“If you decide you want me to come inside,” he said. “We’ll let things happen naturally—only what you’re comfortable with and only what you ask me for. And I won’t stay the night. There doesn’t have to be any mention of it tomorrow, either, or the next day. It can be noncommittal. It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to, Aspyn. No pressure…just pleasure.”
“That sounds like an advertising slogan.” I laughed nervously. “Anyway, you make it sound so simple.”
“I can also go home. And we can pretend this conversation never happened. But that would be painful.” He shook his head and groaned, “Because I want to fuck you so badly. I’m sorry for being blunt. But I’ve dreamed of fucking you almost every day since the night I crashed my car.”
His words sent chills through my body. “I don’t want you to go home tonight,” I whispered.
“Good. Because I really don’t want to.”
A rush of adrenaline hit as I forced out an awkward but important question. “Do you…have any diseases or anything? Are you clean?”
He pushed back a bit in his seat to look at me. “I’m glad you asked. I saw my doctor for my yearly physical before I left Seattle, and I got a full STD panel just to be on the safe side, even though I always use protection. Totally clean, and I haven’t been with anyone since I’ve been here. Despite what you might have assumed, I don’t take that stuff lightly. You?”
“Same. Clean bill of health and no diseases. Haven’t been with anyone in over a year, and I’ve always been safe.”
“Two things I want to make clear,” he said. “I’m serious about not discussing anything that happens tonight. I just want you to enjoy it and not worry about attaching meaning to it.”
I swallowed. “What’s the other thing?”
“As I’ve alluded to, I’m not doing anything to you unless you specifically ask me for it.”
“Is that some kind of sadistic need to hear me beg?”
“Nope. I just prefer knowing exactly what you want and not making any assumptions.”
I let out a shaky breath as he placed his hand on my leg.
He squeezed my thigh gently. “You’re so nervous. Don’t be. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to. Just tell me to fuck off at any time, and I’ll leave.”
What made me more nervous right now were all of the things I did want him to do to me. Even the touch of his hand on my thigh had sent shockwaves through my body, which was so damn sensitized. I was as excited and turned-on as I was nervous.
I finally opened the car door and got out. He did the same and followed. His body behind me was palpable as we walked together toward my house. Then I fumbled with my keys until I managed to open the door.
Once inside, he looped his fingers with mine and locked my hand in his. He slowly brought me toward him until our lips pressed together. I exhaled into his mouth as our frantic breaths collided. Troy’s tongue went in search of mine, and I knew I was a goner. Hell. This man was the best kisser. Every inch of me felt ready to explode. It had been a long time since I’d had sex, sure. But the sexual attraction I had for Troy was next level. I’d never felt this intense need for another person’s body before.
I scratched at his back as our kiss intensified. As he leaned into me, his hard-on became apparent. I couldn’t help remembering the rumor about his size. I wasn’t proud to be thinking about what Jasmine used to say about him right now, but that’s where my mind went. I wondered if I’d be able to take him, since the two men I’d been with had both been average-sized.
“Aspyn, I’m so freaking happy right now.”
I didn’t respond to that, but my body certainly echoed the sentiment. And it turned out, I was the one with the least patience between us.
“We should go to my room,” I muttered into his mouth.
He spoke over my lips. “Lead the way, beautiful.”
We broke the kiss before I took him into my bedroom. I paused in front of my bed to reach my arms around his neck and kiss him again.
With our lips still pressed together, he placed my hand on his belt. “Undress me.”
Wrapping my fingers around his belt buckle, I slowly opened it like I would the most ornately wrapped present. Loosening the belt, I slid it out from the loops on his pants and threw it to the ground. The buckle landed in a loud clank. I tugged at the opening of his jeans, noticing the warm skin of his hard stomach. I looked down to find a thin trail of hair lining his abs. Fuck, he was beautiful. My mouth watered.
“You like what you see?” he asked.
Biting my bottom lip, I nodded.
“Wait till you feel me inside you.”
Jesus.
Rather than push his pants down, I slid my hands up his bare chest to feel the contours of his muscles.
“I love the way you’re looking at me right now…so much, Aspyn.”
“Get over yourself,” I teased.
“I can’t wait to have you over me—and under me. Can’t fucking wait,” he said huskily, looking down at my chest. “Can I touch you?”
I nodded fast. “Mm-hmm.”
“Can I take off your shirt?” he asked.
I nodded again.
He slipped my shirt over my head and reached out to gently cup my breasts through my bra, massaging them slowly. Having his hands on me felt freaking amazing.
“You know what I love about your body?” he asked.
“What?” I could barely form words, so aroused by his touch.
“How natural it is. I love that you’re not skin and bones. I love that your tits aren’t fake. They’re phenomenally real.” He placed his hand on my stomach. “And I love this.”
A twinge of discomfort coursed through me. “You love my jelly roll?”
“It’s a tiny pooch—and yes, it turns me the fuck on.” He reached his hand behind me. “But what makes me absolutely crazy is your ass, Aspyn. I’ve been obsessed with it from the moment I first saw it jiggle in those Goofy scrubs, and I can’t wait to fuck you from behind.”
Turned on to the max, I leaned in to taste his lips again.
“Now tell me what you want,” he whispered over my mouth.
I was too far gone to be anything but completely honest at this point. “You seem to want me to tell you what I want. But I don’t want that.”
He pulled away and arched his brow. “Okay?”
I decided to unleash my deepest, darkest desire. “I prefer it if you call the shots. Tell me what to do.”
His breathing was labored as he cupped my breast again and squeezed. “That’s what you like, huh? Well, I’ll be damned. You sure you want to give me all the control like that?”