The silence was deafening.
Aspyn chewed her lip for several more seconds before she finally said, “I don’t think so, Troy. I appreciate that you want to be friends. I really do. But I’m just not there yet.”
So there was more to this than her just being busy. She really didn’t want to hang out with me. I certainly wasn’t going to be an ass and push it. I did have some pride. But this sucked.
“Okay. Fair enough.” I took a couple of steps back, feeling like I had a giant letter L slapped across my face.
This girl had gotten to me lately. And I couldn’t figure out why. Was it because of our past? Or was I just into her despite all that? Normally, I could let a rejection roll off my back. But it felt different this time.
She took her keys out. “Have a good night.”
“You, too.”
I stood in place, watching her drive away.
Instead of getting in my car and heading home, I decided to go back inside to hang out with Nonno while he ate his dinner in the dining room.
I found him and settled in next to him, but we didn’t talk much while he dug into his meal.
Finally, my grandfather interrupted me in the middle of a daydream. “Why the long face?”
I grabbed a fork from a spare place setting next to him and took a bite of his pasta. “It’s nothing.”
“You and Miss Aspyn seemed to be getting along better today.”
“Smoke and mirrors,” I mumbled.
“What are you talking about?”
“We were doing great until she rejected me out in the parking lot. I asked her to go to dinner with me—not on a date, just as friends.”
Nonno chuckled. “You expect me to believe that?”
“It’s true. I know she wouldn’t want to date me. I just want to make things right with her, maybe get to know her on a platonic level after all the shit in the past.”
My grandfather cracked up.
I narrowed my eyes. “What?”
He wiped his mouth. “I’m old, but I’m not blind, kid. You like staring at her ass more than I like McDonald’s ice cream and Sinatra.”
“You think I like her? I’m not looking for anything more than just being her friend.” I rubbed my temple. “Of course she’s attractive. But that’s not what this is about.”
Nonno pointed his fork at me. “You kiddin’ yourself or something? Of course you like her. She’s a beautiful girl—in that natural way, too. And she’s a decent, strong, independent woman. Very sweet. What’s not to like? Even though you two have a history, that’s in the past—has nothing to do with today.”
Mindlessly twirling some more of the pasta around my fork, I said, “There is something more to it than just wanting to hang out with her. I have this nagging feeling that I need to prove I’m not a bad person. I’m not sure where it’s coming from.”
He nearly choked on his food from laughing. “It’s coming from below the belt.”
I rolled my eyes and dropped the fork. He wasn’t going to believe me. I could understand why he doubted my intentions. Admittedly, I did like staring at Aspyn’s ass, but I wasn’t trying to get into her pants. Or her scrubs. Not to sound like a dick, but I had no problem getting laid, if I wanted to. I didn’t need to resort to groveling over some woman who hated my guts in the hopes that she’d sleep with me.
That said, I had thought about what it would be like with Aspyn. I might have fantasized once or twice about how that energy between us would translate to the bedroom, what it would be like to make her lose her mind to the point that she no longer cared whether she hated me.
“The way you two go at it?” my grandfather said. “I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if it all comes to a head one day. She’s invested in you. It might not seem like she likes you, but you get to her. Usually if someone doesn’t care, they’re ambivalent. She might have told you no because she’s afraid, not uninterested.”
“Well, my ego is certainly happy to eat up that theory, Nonno.”
He chewed. “So, she just told you flat-out no when you asked her?”
“Yeah.” I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms. “I really was just asking her to have dinner, nothing more. Maybe, like you, she didn’t believe my intentions. But she’d rather go out with some guy she’s never met than have dinner with me on Friday night.”
“She’s got a date?”
“Yeah. With some dude she met on a dating app.”
“What’s that?”
“Online dating. You know, that thing I showed you once on my phone when you asked me if I was looking for a mail-order bride?”
“What does she need to do that for?”
“It’s how everyone meets people these days. There’s no such thing as going out and meeting someone by chance anymore.”
He frowned. “That’s sad.”
“Yeah, but by the same token, it’s easier to meet people.”
“It’s too much,” he said. “Like being a kid in a candy store. It conditions people to pass up something good because they keep thinking something better might come along on that conveyor belt. And they probably pass on someone every day who could’ve been the great love of their life. It takes more than just a quick look to know if someone’s right.”
I swallowed my water. “That’s an interesting perspective. And I agree, it can be too much sometimes. I’m sure it was better when life was simpler. Unfortunately, we’re not there anymore.”
Nonno crumpled up his napkin. “Look, you’re my only grandson. I want the best for you. And I can only hope you’re lucky enough to meet a woman you love someday as much as I loved Nonna.”
Deep down, I did want that. Just not right now. Or anytime soon. But someday? Sure. My grandfather had been in his mid-thirties when he met my grandmother. And my father’s only serious girlfriend was his current one, whom he’d started dating in his late forties. That was proof that sometimes it takes a while for the right one to come along.
“I know how much you miss Nonna,” I told him. “It breaks my heart.”
“If everything you’re saying to me is true, she’d be proud of you for trying to be a better person, Troy.”
An image of my grandmother’s face flashed through my mind. Her love and lessons didn’t always come the easy way. “Well, her hitting me with that wooden spoon once or twice might have knocked a little sense into me, even if it took a decade to sink in.”
? ? ?
On Friday night, Eric and I went to grab drinks in Meadowbrook Center after work before he was meeting his girlfriend there for dinner. Even though Meadowbrook was a suburb, it had a nice little town center with bars, restaurants, and an urban feel.