I quickly fill her in on my history with the Plague Doctor, starting with our meeting in the study when I was Sebastian Bell, and recounting how he stopped my car when I tried to escape and, more recently, upbraided me for chasing Madeline Aubert in the forest as Jonathan Derby. It already seems a lifetime ago.
‘Sounds like you’ve made a friend,’ she says, chewing noisily.
‘He’s using me,’ I say. ‘I just don’t know what for.’
‘Daniel might, they seem chummy enough,’ she says, joining me at the window. ‘Any idea what they’re talking about? Have you solved Evelyn’s murder and forgotten to tell me?’
‘If we do this right, there won’t be a murder to solve,’ I say, my attention fixed on the scene below.
‘So you’re still trying to save her, even after the Plague Doctor said it was almost impossible?’
‘As a rule, I ignore half of everything he tells me,’ I say distantly. ‘Call it a healthy scepticism of any wisdom that comes delivered through a mask. Besides, I know this day can be changed, I’ve seen it.’
‘Christ’s sake, Aiden,’ she says angrily.
‘What’s wrong?’ I ask, startled.
‘This, all of this!’ she says, spreading her arms exasperatedly. ‘We had a deal, you and me. I’d sit in this little room and keep these two safe, and you’d use your eight lives to solve this murder.’
‘That’s what I’m doing,’ I say, confused by her anger.
‘No, it’s not,’ she says. ‘You’re running around trying to save the person whose death is our best chance of escape.’
‘She’s my friend, Anna.’
‘She’s Bell’s friend,’ Anna counters. ‘She humiliated Ravencourt and she nearly killed Derby. Far as I’ve seen, there’s more warmth in a long winter than in that woman.’
‘She had her reasons.’
It’s a weak response, intended to bat away the question rather than answer it. Anna’s right, Evelyn hasn’t been my friend for a long time now, and though the memory of her kindness still lingers, it’s not my driving impulse. That’s something else, something deeper, something squirming. The idea of leaving her to be slain sickens me. Not Dance, not any of my other hosts. It sickens me, Aiden Bishop.
Unfortunately, Anna’s building up a head of steam and doesn’t give me a chance to dwell on the revelation.
‘I don’t care about her reasons, I care about yours,’ she says, pointing at me. ‘Maybe you don’t feel it, but deep down, I know how long I’ve been in this place. It’s decades, Aiden, I’m sure of it. I need to leave, I have to, and this is my best chance, with you. You’ve got eight lives, you’ll get out of here eventually. I do all this once, and then forget. Without you I’m stuck, and what happens if next time you wake up as Bell, you don’t remember me?’
‘I won’t leave you here, Anna,’ I insist, shaken by the desperation in her voice.
‘Then solve the damn murder like the Plague Doctor asked you to, and believe him when he says that Evelyn can’t be saved!’
‘I can’t trust him,’ I say, losing my temper and turning my back on her.
‘Why not, everything he’s said has happened. He’s—’
‘He said you’d betray me,’ I shout.
‘What?’
‘He told me you’d betray me,’ I repeat, shaken by the admission. Until now I’d never actually voiced the accusation, preferring to dismiss it in the quiet of my thoughts. Now I’ve said it out loud it’s a real possibility, and it worries me. Anna’s right, everything else the Plague Doctor’s said has come true, and as strong as my connection to this woman is, I can’t be completely certain she won’t turn on me.
She reels backwards as if struck, shaking her head.
‘I’d never... Aiden, I’d never do that, I swear.’
‘He said you remembered more about our last loop than you were admitting,’ I say. ‘Is that true? Is there something you’re not telling me?’
She hesitates.
‘Is it true, Anna?’ I demand.
‘No,’ she says forcefully. ‘He’s trying to get between us, Aiden. I don’t know why, but you can’t listen to him.’
‘That’s my point,’ I shoot back. ‘If the Plague Doctor’s telling the truth about Evelyn, he’s telling the truth about you. I don’t believe he is. I think he wants something, something we don’t know about, and I think he’s using us to get it.’
‘Even if that’s the case, I don’t understand why you’re so insistent on saving Evelyn,’ says Anna, still struggling with what I had told her.
‘Because somebody’s going to kill her,’ I say haltingly. ‘And they’re not doing it themselves, they’re twisting her in knots so she’ll do it herself, and they’re making sure everybody sees. It’s cruel and they’re enjoying it, and I can’t... It doesn’t matter whether we like her, or whether the Plague Doctor is right, you don’t get to kill somebody and put them on display. She’s innocent, and we can stop it. And we should.’
I falter, breathless, teetering on the edge of a memory sprung loose by Anna’s questions. It’s as though a curtain’s been pulled back, the man I used to be almost visible through the gap. Guilt and grief, they’re the keys, I’m certain of it. They’re what brought me to Blackheath in the first place. They’ve been driving me to save Evelyn, but that wasn’t my purpose here, not really.
‘There was somebody else,’ I say slowly, clutching at the edges of the memory. ‘A woman, I think. She’s the reason I came here, but I couldn’t save her.’
‘What was her name?’ says Anna, taking my wrinkled old hands and looking up into my face.
‘I can’t remember,’ I say, my head throbbing in concentration.
‘Was it me?’
‘I don’t know,’ I say.
The memory’s slipping away. There are tears on my cheeks, an ache in my chest. I feel like I’ve lost somebody, but I have no idea who. I look into Anna’s wide brown eyes.
‘It’s gone,’ I say weakly.
‘I’m sorry, Aiden.’
‘Don’t be,’ I say, feeling my strength return. ‘We’re going to get out of Blackheath, I promise, but I have to do it my way. I’ll make it work, you just have to trust me, Anna.’
I’m expecting an objection, but she confounds me with a smile.
‘Then where do we start?’ she says.
‘I’m going to find Helena Hardcastle,’ I say, wiping my face with a handkerchief. ‘Do you have any leads on the footman? He killed Derby last night, and I doubt Dance is far behind.’