She continues, “There are moments you treat me great. I’d be stupid to deny that. But there are plenty of times when I feel like I don’t matter. That my needs are merely collateral damage in your pursuit of whatever you think will make you happy.”
I want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her until she starts making sense. Instead, I keep my hands to myself as I nod. “I see.”
“You really don’t.” She offers me a tight smile that seems all wrong. “I planned this trip thinking we could have fun together. I thought…” She laughs, but it sounds off. “I don’t know what I thought honestly, but I’m mad at myself for being surprised that all this even happened. I’m even more disappointed that I thought your work would only be kept to one day.”
The victory I felt from Yakura’s meeting disappears at her expression.
Something about it raises every alarm in my head. “Iris…”
She holds up a hand. “It’s fine. I’m going to take a walk.”
“No, you’re not.” We are in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by wild animals and darkness. I don’t give a shit how angry she is. I’ll be damned if I let her walk out.
She raises her chin with defiance. “I didn’t ask for your permission.”
The back of my neck heats. “Then as your boss, I’m ordering you to get started on the updates Yakura wants. Time is of the essence.”
Her entire body tenses. “Of course. I’ll get right on that as soon as I submit my two weeks’ notice, asshole.”
Oh, fuck. She takes advantage of my stunned state and leaves the suite before I have a chance to stop her. The front door rattles as she slams it behind her.
Good luck trying to undo this mess.
18
IRIS
I wish I could say I’m some bad bitch that was willing to take a nice little jaunt around the safari lodge property. In all honesty, I had every intention of doing just that, especially after my fight with Declan.
But I’m not a bad bitch. Not in the slightest. All it took was some rustling leaves to have me hightailing my butt to our backyard and parking myself on a lounge chair. Instead of making my presence known to the big asshole inside, I kept the lights off. I could lie to myself and say I did it so I could see the stars better, but in reality, I wanted to be alone. He was so adamant about me not leaving to the point of being a complete dick, so I feel like it is only fair.
Well, you did tell your boss you’re quitting. That’s some bad bitch material that Cal would be proud of.
I groan. That was so stupid on my part. Instead of biting my tongue, I let my anger get the best of me. My phone buzzes for the fourth time since I walked out. Declan’s name flashes across the screen, and I sigh as I answer the call.
Be an adult.
“Tell me where you are.” His clipped voice rumbles through the phone.
“Out.”
So much for acting mature. But seriously, who is he to order me around like that? Has he learned nothing from what happened earlier?
“I swear to God the moment I find you…”
His half-finished threat makes the back of my neck prickle.
What the hell?
“I’m fine.”
“You’re out in the middle of the fucking jungle.”
I coo at him through the phone. “Technically it’s called a bush. Not that you would know since you made me plan everything for a trip I can’t even enjoy.”
“Shut up and tell me where you are.”
A soft laugh escapes me before I have a chance to kill it. “This is our exact problem.” I keep my voice low just in case he is looming too close to the glass doors surrounding our villa. “You continue to order me around like some disobedient housewife, and I continue to push back.”
“If you don’t tell me where I can find you—”
“I’m lounging outside by the pool.”
Our call disconnects. The pace of my heart increases with each second that ticks by. My ability to hear is drowned out by the whooshing sound of blood in my ears.
The hairs on my arms rise at the sound of the sliding door opening. I refuse to look over my shoulder at Declan, so I keep my eyes glued to the starry sky despite the burning sensation spreading across my skin from his assessment.
Declan doesn’t move for a whole minute. I consider him to be an expert when it comes to torture, given the way he makes me wait on pins and needles while he says nothing. While I have always admired his ability to make people crack under pressure, today I find it unbearable. I almost give in to the temptation to look over my shoulder and check on him, but I stay strong.
The wind conceals my sigh of relief as the sliding door glides shut again.
Declan’s shoes clap against the wood deck, the thudding matching the staccato of my heart. He lingers close by as if he wants to keep his distance.
I expect him to yell at me. Part of me thinks I deserve it after walking out on him in the middle of an argument. I know it wasn’t the most mature thing to do, but I’m only human. While it takes a lot to make me explode, once I do, hell hath no fury like an assistant scorned.
The rebellious part of me stands by my decision, knowing something about him needs to give. I’m not a robot. I have feelings and dreams and a hope that I won’t spend the rest of my life assisting him to achieve his goals while putting mine on hold. And if he can’t see that, then maybe it’s time I move on from my position.
I might have tried and failed before when I applied for a job transfer, but that’s what life is all about.
“We need to talk.”
My eyes slide from the stars to his face. I open my mouth to speak, but the words seem to get trapped in my throat. I’m not sure what to say. Declan isn’t the type of man who wants to talk. That alone puts me on edge, and I become unsure of myself.
He takes a seat on the chair parallel to mine. Unlike me, he doesn’t lean back, instead choosing to remain in an upright sitting position. The shadows cling to him like a cloak, concealing most of his face. I don’t need any light to know he is focused on me. My body does the job for me, sending a shiver down my spine that has nothing to do with the temperature outside.
“I’m sorry.” His voice can barely be heard over a gust of wind.
I turn my face away, shielding him from seeing how my eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.
He must take my silence as quiet approval. “I made a mistake.”
I might need to take up learning sign language because I have officially lost the ability to speak. Declan doesn’t apologize, and he sure as hell doesn’t admit when he is wrong. That should serve as my first warning that something is off between us.
“I don’t want you to quit.” His admission hangs between us.
“Why? Because it would suck to find a replacement?”
“No one can replace you.”
Who knew one statement could do a whole lot of damage to my heart? It beats harder as if it wants to respond for me. “I can’t do this anymore.”
He sighs. “I know.”
“I deserve better.”
“That was never a doubt.”
I tilt my head. “I’m not happy.”
His reply doesn’t come instantly like the others. The silence eats away at my calm fa?ade, and I find my fingers tapping against my thighs in a nervous pattern.
“It was wrong of me to make you work on your day off.”