“Let me in, Ev.”
Hayes didn’t realize how much he was asking with that single request. And yet, I wanted to tell him. To unburden myself of something I’d carried with me for years. I hadn’t ever spoken of it. Not even to Jacey when I went to live with her. My mom had tended to my wounds, stitching my lip and wrapping my ribs, but only after my bruises had faded and the stitches had been removed did she take me to my sister’s.
“After my father’s sentencing, Ian was angry. He took it out on me.”
Hayes’ eyes hardened. “He hit you? You were only eleven. He was a teenager.”
I remembered how big Ian had seemed at the time, towering over me as his boot made contact with my ribs.
“How bad?”
The two words were rough, grating over my skin. “Split lip. Broken ribs. Probably a concussion.”
Hayes’ fingers dug into the arms of the chair, his knuckles bleaching white. “No one called the goddamned sheriff?”
“That’s not how my family operates. It’s why they were so angry with me. They didn’t think that what my father had done was right, but they thought I should’ve waited until my mom came home so she could’ve talked Dad down or gone to get Allen.”
“If you had waited another couple of days, Shiloh could’ve died.”
“I know,” I whispered. “The only thing I regret is not going sooner. I’d take the beating again if it meant she was okay.”
“Fuck.” Hayes pushed to his feet and began pacing. The back deck wasn’t large, but he used every inch.
I rose slowly, setting my tea on the chair. I moved into his path, stopping Hayes in his tracks. “I’m okay.”
His rough hands came up to frame my face as he bent down and got close. “You’re not okay. How could you be? All I can think about is what you’ve had to endure. And the words I threw at you the first day I came up here. I’m so fucking sorry, Ev.”
I tipped my face forward so our foreheads touched, then just rested there and circled his wrists with my hands. “I am okay. Or I will be. I stuffed a lot of this down. Haven’t dealt with it the way I should have. But I’m facing it now. It’s not easy, but it’s good for me to be back here.”
Hayes was silent for a moment, the only sound that of his ragged breathing. “You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.”
“It’s just twenty breaths—”
“It’s not only twenty damn breaths. It’s you. Whatever’s running through those veins that makes you stronger than everyone else.” Hayes tipped up my face so that our lips were only a breath apart. “Ev?”
“Yes?”
“I need to kiss you.”
I wanted it so badly. The feel of his mouth on mine. To know that I wasn’t alone in that moment. I was the one who closed the distance. His lips were softer than expected, the pressure so gentle, it was as if he worried that I might break.
But the moment his tongue slipped into my mouth, everything changed. Hunger and need took over. We were both searching for something, yet not quite sure what that was. My fingers fisted in his t-shirt, and I pulled Hayes closer until I wasn’t sure where he ended, and I began.
An owl cried out in the night, likely swooping down in search of a snack. It was a bucket of cold water dumped right over my head. I jumped back, my hand going to my mouth. My lips tingled as I took in the man before me. I waited for him to say something about this being a mistake. He didn’t. He simply stood there with a grin curving his mouth.
“That—that—we shouldn’t have done that.”
Hayes moved in closer. “Why not? You hiding a husband here somewhere?”
“No…I just…it’s too complicated. There’s too much water under too many bridges.”
His hands came back to my face, his thumbs sweeping across my cheeks. “I don’t give a damn about any water. You and me, that’s what matters.”
I would’ve given anything to believe that. But I knew it couldn’t be. Whenever something reminded him of who my father was and what he had stolen from Hayes’ family, it would kill something inside of him. And I couldn’t stand around and watch that happen. So, I did the only thing I could. I ran.
29
Hayes
“You’re whistling.”
I stole a glance at Young in my passenger seat. “So?”
“You never whistle.”
I turned my focus back to the road, but my neck felt hot. “Guess I have a tune stuck in my head.”
I could feel her gaze on my face, studying me. “Something’s different.”
“Is this your weird mom radar going off?”
Young chuckled. “Raising two little hooligans definitely helps the spidey senses. What gives, boss?”
I shifted in my seat. What gave was that I could still taste Everly. The tea and the hint of mint from her toothpaste. She might have hightailed it back to her room and left before I’d gotten up, but that didn’t change anything. There was something between us. “Guess I’m just in a good mood this morning.”
“Fine. Keep your secrets.”
I would. This wasn’t something I was ready to share with anyone. And I knew moving forward would be more akin to dismantling a bomb than pursuing a woman. Everly was right. It wouldn’t be easy. More than a few moments would be complicated. But I couldn’t walk away, either. She seemed to pull me in. And each layer she revealed tethered me to her. Amazed me and sliced at any sort of defenses I’d built up.
The wheel creaked as I adjusted my grip, Everly’s pale face flashing in my mind. She’d given me a gift last night. The most precious thing she had—her truth. But that had me resisting the urge to betray the oaths I’d taken and search out Ian Kemper for myself.
“How’s Everly doing?”
Young’s voice cut through my spiraling thoughts. “What?”
“How is Everly after what happened? She hanging in there okay?”
“I think she’s doing as well as she can be.” But I knew that what had happened—the attack and the note—had brought on those nightmares last night. “I’m hoping there’s something on the note. I asked them to bump it to the front of the line.”
Young raised a brow. “Calling in favors?”
“We have to figure out who’s behind this.” We hadn’t had a case this serious in years. Certainly never a serial offender stalking our county.
“I know. I’m just giving you a hard time because I know you like her.”
“What?” I almost drove off the road.
Young gripped the handle above her head. “Hell. Please don’t kill us because I know you have a crush.”
“I do not.”
“You sound like my five-year-old.”
I clamped my mouth shut. Anything that came out now would sound like an idiotic denial.
Young grinned. “Now you’re giving me the silent treatment, huh?”
“She’s a good woman. And I’m going to leave it at that.”
“Fine. I’ll let you off the hook for now. Give me the rundown on what we’re driving up on.”