TRACK 8: Full Bellies, Full Hearts
It took a lot of convincing for me to finally agree to leave the studio after our wedding ceremony. Mia didn’t want the guests waiting too long at the restaurant for us. I chased her up the stairs to the loft and into our bedroom. I helped unzip her, and then I watched her change into a casual white dress. She topped it off with a black leather jacket. That’s when I revealed the T-shirt I’d been hiding underneath my dress shirt.
“You are not wearing that to our wedding dinner,” she said with her hand on her hip.
“Tyler said you’d kick me in the balls when you saw it.”
“If you don’t take that off, I will.”
My T-shirt said “Buy Me a Beer, The End is Near” and then underneath the writing there was a picture of a ball and chain.
“It’s a joke. This couldn’t be further from how I feel.”
She scrunched up her nose and gave me the pouty face.
I moved toward her, pushed her hair behind her ears, and tilted her head up to look at me. “I honestly feel like this is the beginning of my life, Mia.”
“Me too,” she said. “I’ve just been really sensitive about stuff lately.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, sometimes I think it was the way you reacted when I told you I was pregnant. It made me think we were rushing into all this.”
I held her face in my hands and glanced past her into the hallway where June was pooping on the hardwood floor. I didn’t say anything; I focused my eyes back on Mia. “Listen to me. That kind of news is eye-opening for all men. Yes, I wondered how we would make it work and what it would mean for me to be a father, but then I remembered what Martha said to us in the café. She said we had everything we needed between us, and I think she’s right.”
I bent and kissed her slowly and for a long time. When I opened my eyes, hers were still closed and there were tears streaming down her cheeks. I wiped them away with my thumbs. “Baby, don’t cry. It’s our wedding day. We had awesome sex, we have two new, kickass instruments that are a hundred percent tax deductible, and we have a sweet little baby on the way.”
She looked up finally and smiled. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Mia Ryan. Doesn’t that have a nice ring?”
“Yes, it does. I guess we should get to the restaurant.” She pushed me away, looked down at my T-shirt, and pointed toward the closet. “Go change or my mom will disown you and probably kick you in the balls herself.”
“Fine.” I shuffled over to the closet and changed into a plain black T-shirt and black jeans. Mia liked it when I wore black. She would get this giddy look on her face and her cheeks would turn pink. “How’s this?”
“Perfect.” She giggled.
“Oh, hold on one sec. Come here, baby.” I grabbed her by the shoulders and moved her to the bed to sit, facing away from the door. “Stay here, don’t move.”
I cleaned up June’s poop in thirty seconds flat and then returned to Mia.
“What did you do?” she asked.
“Nothing. Let’s hit it, pretty lady.”
We got to Rosetta’s, a small American bistro in Brooklyn that we’d rented out for the evening. When we arrived, everyone had taken good advantage of the open bar and appetizer rounds. Tyler was already slurring and Jenny looked pissed. We greeted the guests and mingled with everyone until dinner was served. Mia stood up and addressed the crowd, something extremely out of character for her. I thought for sure she expected me to make the announcement. She took my hand in hers before she started her speech.
“Thank you, everyone, for being here. Will and I feel extremely grateful for having family and friends to share this day with.” She picked up her glass, raised it, and very quickly said, “I’m drinking apple cider because I’m pregnant! So cheers to family and making it bigger!”
“Cheers!” I said with the crowd and clanked my glass with Mia’s.
“How was that?” she said.
“Great, honey.” It may very well have been the worst wedding speech ever.
Two people immediately rushed our table—Mia’s mom and Tyler. Tyler arrived first, but Liz, who only came up to Tyler’s waist, stomped on his foot and then cut in front of him. She glared at us from the other side of the table.
“Mom, I was going to tell you.”
Liz didn’t speak; she just glared at Mia before turning to me. “You better take good care of them.”
I stood up and walked around the table to hug Liz. She started to cry but tried desperately to contain it. I brought her into my chest. “I love Mia and that baby more than anything. I feel like they’re a part of me. It’s the boundless, from the depth of our souls kind of love, can’t you see that?”
She sniffled. “The two of you remind me of her father and me when we were just starting out.”
“You’ve got that wrong, Liz.” I knew she was paranoid Mia would be like her and quickly grow tired of the musician way of life. “The reason you’ve got that wrong is because you assume Mia is like you.” Liz was one of the most pragmatic people I knew. She was a lawyer and she handled everything in life the way she handled her cases, and although Mia had a trait like that, Mia was much more spontaneous and artistic and adventurous than Liz. Plus Mia was a musician herself. “She’s like her dad too.”
She stared blankly at me for several moments until I finally saw the sparkle in her eye. It was a realization. She cupped my face and nodded. “You might be right, Will. I just want her to be happy.”
“We jammed for thirty minutes in the studio before we came here and it was the happiest I’ve ever seen her.”
“Okay, I’ll have to trust you.”
“Trust her too. Trust her judgment. She put me through a year of torturous hell, and she trampled on my heart at least fourteen times just to make sure we were right for each other.”
She laughed and I smiled—I knew that got to her. She was proud of her little girl for doing her homework. When I turned back to look at Mia, she was hugging Tyler. I had taken care of the angry mother of the bride and she was taking care of the piss-drunk and peeved best man. What a team. Mia’s mom kissed both of us and tried not to cry while Mia’s step-dad patted me a little too hard on the back, saying “Congratulations!” over and over again.
I found Jenny and Tyler talking quietly to each other in the corner, so I dragged Mia over to them.
“You guys okay?”
“I thought I was gonna give the speech?” Tyler slurred while sloppily hanging on Jenny’s shoulder.
“I told you Tyler, you can give us your speech now. It will be more personal that way,” Mia said, hoping to keep the drunk guy away from the microphone.
“I was just gonna say I love you guys.”
“We love you too,” Mia and I both replied
“We have some news,” Jenny said quietly.
No one said a word for several moments. I glanced at the champagne glass Jenny was holding.
“I’m drinking apple cider too,” she said.
“Oh my God, you’re pregnant?” Mia shouted.
“Yes,” she cried.
They were both blubbering messes.
“I know this one will stick, Jenny, I just know it.”
For everyone’s sake, I hoped Mia was right.
We left our wedding before most of the guests. We took a cab to the Ritz, where I insisted on carrying Mia through the main door into the lobby and then again into our suite. We spent the whole night naked and tangled up in each other. Sometime before sunrise, when the delicate blue light became visible through the window, Mia whispered to me, “Why do you think people do it?”
Based on what she and I had spent the last hours doing, my answer was easy. “Because it feels good.” I didn’t realize she was talking about something else.
“Why do you think people get married and have children is what I mean?”
“Because it feels good.” I pulled her naked little body toward me under the covers and threw my leg over her. “Doesn’t this feel good?”
“Yes, but we don’t have to be married to do this.”
“We’re married now, Mia, so I have no idea where this conversation is going, but to answer your question seriously, I think people get married because they want to share their lives with someone, because they want someone to experience life with.”
“What does that mean?”
I kissed her nose and tucked her into my chest. “It means the beauty and wonder that I see in you every day colors each page of my life and makes it more vibrant. You make my experiences more meaningful.”
She nuzzled her face into my neck and murmured, “You’re such a cheese ball, Will, but you’re going to be the best husband and dad.”
And then she sank down under the covers and delivered on her promise.