“Oh dear gods!” Archie snapped. “It’s not like that!” He shuddered violently. “I’d rather die!”
“Why would you think something that disgusting?” Theo started to slap Urian’s arm, then glanced at the guards and lions before reconsidering. “It’s not the same as a feeding! Besides, if I were going to sleep with a man, I’d pick someone a lot better-looking than that oaf! Uh! He’s revolting! I’d at least go after Davyn.”
Urian scoffed. “Well, how would I know how you share a soul? I’m not a Daimon!”
Theo rolled his eyes. “Soul exchanges are completely different.”
“How so?” Urian had always been curious how it worked. It was the one thing no one would ever go into. Rather the best-kept secret of their people.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. It’s something you have to be shown when you’re ready.”
Urian moved closer to Theo so that he could study him to see what else might be different about his brother. “So what’s it like?”
They both sobered.
“I don’t know how to describe it, really.” Theo didn’t move as Urian fingered his ear. “My powers are heightened now. In ways you can’t imagine.”
Archie made a face. “For one, the souls are loud.”
Theo nodded in agreement. “I now know why the treli go mad. You can hear the human in your head all the time. It’s like the worst sort of nagging wife.”
“Aye.” Archie sighed. “They beg and whine and barter. And you can’t escape the sound. It rattles in your brain.”
“Is there anything you can do to quiet them?”
They shook their heads. “Solren says it’ll get fainter as they weaken and the soul dies. That we have to pay attention as that will tell us when we need to hunt again. So for that reason, we want them to be yelling loud and clear in order to maintain our life.”
That was terrifying. His own inner monologue was loud enough at times. He couldn’t imagine having something inside him trying to outshout it. “And there’s no other way to live?”
They shook their heads.
Archie scowled. “What about your wife’s people? How does it work for them?”
“Their goddess bonded them to fire demons to preserve their lives. I don’t recommend it, either.” Especially given some of Sheba’s more particular vicious mood swings whenever the demon in her acted up.
Archie glanced over to the guards. “So are they Apollites?”
Not anymore. Even their young were different from what Urian was used to. “The Marzanni are a different species … more akin to Daimons. With some differences.”
Theo arched a brow at that. “Such as?”
“They don’t age the way we do, but they’re not immortal. They can still have children, at any point.” Unlike Daimons, who couldn’t have children. Once they ceased to be Apollites, they lost their fertility.
“Can they walk in daylight?”
Urian shook his head. “No one has thwarted that part of the curse yet. At least not to my knowledge. Though I’ve heard of some who’ve tried.”
All had ended in disaster. It seemed Apollo was determined to make sure no one with a drop of Apollite blood would ever again see the light of day.
“Majesty?” Niva nervously cleared her throat from the doorway shadows. “Forgive my interruption, but my lady bid me to remind you of your duties.”
Ever his horny mistress. He sighed. “I’ll be right there.”
She scurried away.
“Duties?” Archie mocked. Then he sobered. “Truth. Are you happy?”
He couldn’t honestly call what he had here happy. While it wasn’t miserable or abusive, he’d only ever been really happy with one person.
Xyn.
And since she wasn’t here and he was never able to see her …
“I’m content.”
“That’s not happiness, Urian.” Theo passed a concerned glance toward Archie.
How he hated the fact that his family could read him so easily. He’d never been able to hide anything from them. No matter how hard he tried. “You two worry like old women. But I would ask one thing before you leave.”
“That is?” Archie cocked his head.
“Would you escort my children home to their mother? They’ve been missing her and I know they’d like to see her.”
“Sure.”
Urian inclined his head to Archie before he went to ask Niva to gather them for the journey. Nephele in particular had been begging to see her mother. Keeping them away from Xanthia had been the shittiest act of spite he’d ever done in his life, and given some of the things he’d done to his older brothers as a boy, that said a lot.
But the truth was, they’d been the only part of his marriage to Xanthia that he’d enjoyed. And they’d been the one thing that had kept him sane here with Sheba and her people. A balm against his loneliness and his own homesickness.
Especially where Sarraxyn was concerned. He’d needed them as a distraction so that he didn’t dwell on how much he missed his friend.
Nay, not friend. The only woman he’d ever loved.
The one woman he could never have.
And the thought of being here without his children …
Heartsick, Urian sighed. It wasn’t fair to Geras and Nephele, and he knew it. They didn’t belong here and they were miserable. He was being selfish and it was time for them to be with their mother. Not their stepfather.
“Baba!”
He paused at his bedroom door as he heard Nephele’s call from the other end of the hallway. Her voice echoed off the stone as she came running toward him. Even though she tried not to show it, he saw the excitement on her beautiful face as she neared him.
“Are you really taking us home?”
Those words were a fist to his gut. How he wished, but if he went home, he’d never return here either and that would cause a war between their people.
Urian sighed at the tears that choked him. “Nay, love. My brothers are here. They’ll take you and Geras back to your mata.”
“Oh.” Her voice mirrored the same disappointment he felt. “What about you?”
Pain swelled up inside as he fingered her blond braids. “I have to stay here with the Marzanni. But if you wish to stay in Kalosis, I won’t force you to return. I shall miss you terribly, though.” His voice cracked on that last bit. He would miss them every day.
Tears welled in her eyes as her lips trembled. With a sob, she threw herself against his chest.
Closing his eyes, Urian held her there as he fought against his own tears. He really did love his children. He always would.
Geras came running and threw himself against them so that he could pout over the fact that Urian wouldn’t be joining them.
His heart breaking even more, Urian held them until he heard Sheba calling for him to join her from the other side of the door.
Damn it. He shouldn’t have to choose between her and his children. But life was never fair.
And it seemed to take a special joy out of racking his balls.
“I have to go and your uncles are waiting.” He kissed them each in turn. “Take care. I shall come visit as soon as I can.”
“I’ll miss you, Baba!” Geras said.
“Miss you already, scamp.” Urian chucked him on the chin, then wiped away the tears on Nephele’s face. “Be good for me.”
“I will. You take care, Baba.”
Her words made his heart swell and ache. Every time they called him that, it tore him apart and made him glad that in spite of how it’d ended, he’d married their mother. For them alone, his hell with Thia had been worth it.
He paused to watch as they walked down the hall. Geras glanced back to wave and Nephele to blow him one last kiss.
Urian returned both gestures with a heavy heart. I hate change. He always had.
That was the worst part about being an Apollite. Change came fast and furious for them all in their pathetically brief lives.
Twenty-seven years just wasn’t long enough for anyone to live and die. They were gone before they had a chance to begin.
Game over. Why? Because his own grandfather was a selfish ass. Why did people have to be so selfish and cold?
What a world it would be if others could look around for three seconds each day and realize that they weren’t the only ones in pain. That everyone suffered.