He’d learned to function in a state of comfortably numb where noth ing touched him anymore. As he often joked with Davyn, “Behold my fallow fields of the fucks I do not give.”
Yeah, that was his current real estate, and he liked that address where pain didn’t reside within him. Where agony didn’t claim a permanent part of his soul.
And yet, even now if he closed his eyes, his skin tingled from the sweetest memories of Xyn’s touch. His heart lightened at the prospect of hearing her laughter.
Seeing her vibrant green eyes light up when she saw him.
No one had ever made him feel like she did.
Strange how all the women of his life had played vastly different roles. Xanthia had used and kicked him. Sheba had treated him like a pet to be pampered and played with. Phoebe had loved and needed him and been dependent on him for her very survival. She had made him feel like some mythic hero.
And Xyn? She had stood at his side as an equal warrior. She had been his best friend.
He’d loved them all, but only Xanthia had ever taught him animosity because of her treachery and betrayal.
Brogan took his hand. “Are you all right?”
Urian swallowed hard against the raw fear and hope that choked him. Honestly? He hadn’t been all right in a long time. And this new surge of bullshit after having buried his emotions for so long was really the last thing he needed. Especially right now. But he wasn’t one to confide his feelings to anyone. Never mind someone he just met. “Sure.”
The light in her eyes said that she knew better. Still, she smiled kindly. “If you say so.” Squeezing his hand, she returned to Blaise to help him walk.
And Urian moved to stand near Brandor and keep him from harming Blaise for being so close to his sister. “I know, brother. Just remember, when we find Medea and Falcyn, you have to return the favor before I rip the dick off that bastard.”
Brandor choked. “Pardon?”
“You heard me. Every time Falcyn looks at her, it takes everything I have not to do something completely suicidal.”
*
“Fetch me Maddor. I don’t care what whore you have to pry him off, bring him to me within the quarter hour or it’s your balls I’ll be dining on!” The fey bitch shoved him away, then headed away.
The captain of the guards turned on his companions with a hiss. “You heard her! Fetch the mandrake!”
“Fuck you.” Varian du Fey slid his knife straight into the lung of the bastard in front of him and held him upright until he stopped struggling. Only then did he use his powers to remove all traces of the fey’s existence.
“Damn, V. That’s so cold.”
Wiping the blood off on the sleeve of his jerkin, he sneered at his hellhound companion. “Oh, like you wouldn’t have bitten his throat out, then licked your own balls.”
“Probably the former, but never the latter. Too many others willing to do that for me.” Kaziel grinned at him. “At any rate, killing an Adoni on an errand for your mother seems a bit reckless when we’re supposed to be keeping a low profile. And to think Aeron and Nick accuse me of being rash.”
“You are rash, my friend. So rash, it’s actually creeping down your neck.”
“Those are the hives I get from being this close to you when you’re doing something profoundly stupid.” Kaziel glanced down the hallway to make sure no one else was around. “Damn shame to be this near to your mother and she didn’t recognize you.”
“You’ve no idea. But I wouldn’t put anything past her. The main thing for now is that we find Blaise and let him know what’s going on. You go find them.”
Kaziel hesitated. “What about you?”
“We still need more information. I’m after the dragons to see why my mother was so insistent on them, and especially Maddor. That’s not like her. Which means there’s something peculiar there and I intend to find out what.”
Kaziel inclined his head to him. As he started away, Varian grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a dark alcove.
They’d barely vanished into the curtained shadows before two men came down the hallway, grumbling. They paused right in front of their hiding spot so that they could examine each other. “You don’t think we’re infected, do you?”
The dark-haired fey bit his lip. “I hope not. They’re feeding the infected to the gallu.”
Cursing, they went on their way.
Varian didn’t move for several heartbeats as he digested that news. “Damn you, Apollo.”
Something cold brushed against Varian. Quicker than he could think, he drew his dagger and lunged.
The shadow beside him solidified into a man who quickly disarmed him and tsked. “Careful, coz. I require dinner before someone daggers me.”
He rolled his eyes at the shadowborn demon who had eyes of steel. And like his very soul, his shoulder-length hair that he wore pulled back into a short ponytail was neither light nor dark, but strands of varying shades that were trapped squarely between his two dueling natures. Shadow was fearless as a rule, and he was the most evil thing that stalked the darkness and called the deadliest night home. “Careful, demon. You tread on treacherous ground to be sneaking up on me.”
“Sorry about that. But I’m here to let you know Apollo’s closing the noose around the dragons, trying to get the dragonstone before Helios. Otherwise, all is lost.”
“I already knew that.”
Shadow growled at him. “I saved your life. Let’s not forget the good part.”
“Are you done harassing me?”
“Not even close.” He flashed a cocky grin at Varian. “I’m also here for your portal key.”
Varian laughed. Until he realized it wasn’t a joke. “Are you crazy?” Without a key, he’d be trapped here.
“Probably. But our friends have no way to walk through the portals, back to their world.”
“Can’t you get them through on your own?”
He shook his head. “Shadow walkers can only pass through alone. Without a key, they’d be trapped and forced to wave at me on the other side.”
“Well, that sucks.”
“More than you know.” Shadow held his hand out. “Give it up.”
Grumbling, Varian pulled the dragon key from around his neck and handed it over. “How am I supposed to get back?”
After pocketing the key, Shadow clapped him on the arm. “You’re resourceful. Surely you’ll think of something. I hear that you’re good in a crisis.”
“You’re such a bastard.”
“’Course I am. Suckled on the tit of all evil itself.”
There was never any shaming the rank demon. He thrived on insults for some unknown reason.
Disgruntled and annoyed, Varian sighed. “And here I thought you were some master thief who could steal a key from anyone you wanted.”
“I can. Unfortunately, they tend to miss such an item quickly and form a search party for it. Last thing we need is them finding our comrades before us. If Falcyn’s stone falls into our enemies’ hands…”
There was that.
And Varian’s stomach tightened at the thought. Shadow was right and he knew it.
Which also made him think of something else. “Question?”
“Not an oracle, but you’re free to attempt it.”
“How is it the sharoc can’t detect you?” Varian had a hard enough time eluding their detection whenever he ventured here on his missions. He’d never understood how Shadow managed it.
“You want secrets I’m unwilling to give.” He passed a gimlet stare to Kaziel, who was being unusually quiet. “The two of you aren’t the only ones with pasts you don’t want disclosed.” And with that, he vanished.
Kaziel crossed his arms over his chest. “You trust him?”
“I don’t trust anyone, other than my wife and children, but he’s never given me a specific reason not to. Why?”
“Just thinking of something Aeron always says. I’d sooner trust my enemy than a friend, as I can afford to lose an enemy. But killing a friend over betrayal burns twice as deep and thrice as long.”
“Your point?”
“No point, really. Just something about that demon makes my hackles rise.”
Varian couldn’t agree more. “Don’t worry. Like you, my bite is much worse than my bark.” And he’d taken enough lives to prove it. If Shadow betrayed them, Varian would have no compunctions about laying open his throat.