‘An honest and prosperous tradesman. I could support you in the style to which you are accustomed. I would not dare seek the hand of a lady such as you if that were not the case.’
‘Oh Edmund!’ My little sister’s lower lip quivered so piteously that I almost started to cry myself. Only the knowledge that this fuzz was all about nothing but a load of romantic balderdash kept me from losing my dignity. ‘I have told you this a thousand times. The wealth of your family does not matter. It is the position of your family that troubles me. I know you to be good and kind and loving, but that counts for nothing with my aunt, who holds rank and pedigree above everything else. If she were to discover my love for you, the son of a common tradesman, we would be separated and never see each other again.’
‘So this is it? This is why nobody must know of our attachment?’
‘Nobody. Not even my dearest sister Lilly, the one who after you, Edmund, I love most in the world, knows of this, my dark and sinful secret. I have kept it close to my heart and have been most cunning in concealing it from the world.’
Covering my eyes with my hand, I slumped back into the grass. Yes, most cunning indeed - conducting a secret romance in the back garden of your family home. I mean, my dear little sister, how would it be possible for anyone to discover you there, or listen in on you?
Poor Ella. She would have a few nasty surprises coming for her in the real world.
I lay on my back, continuing to listen to their conversation. Some part of me was expecting Edmund to make dark and demanding overtures to my sister. I mean, he was a man, after all. But there were only flowery professions of love on both sides.
A lot of them.
A really great lot of them.
Maybe Edmund was actually a nice fellow. I had certainly thought so before this evening - before I had discovered he had his eye on my little sister. Maybe I should not immediately start to think of him as a ruthless rake. From what I could hear, he seemed decent enough, if a little soppy. Maybe I wouldn’t hit him with my parasol just yet.
‘But tell me, my dearest Ella…’ he began, frowning slightly. I raised my head. This didn’t sound like another one of those silly love-confessions. ‘Might we not confide in one person at least? Your elder sister, Lilly I think her name is, of whom you have spoken so fondly?’
‘Oh Edmund! How I would love to do that, to pour out my heart to my dearest sister!’
‘Which one was she, by the way? I have never yet had the pleasure of being introduced to any of your family, I just saw them the other day on the street.’
Ella smiled. ‘She was the one who returned your greeting. The only one. Oh, if only I could tell her how much joy she gave me in that moment! How I would love to disclose my love to her, to share with her my happiness!’
‘Then why not do it? She might be sympathetic to our plight.’
I chewed my bottom lip thoughtfully. Hmm. Maybe, fellow. If you behave.
‘She might also be a valuable ally, my dearest. The word of so good a lady as you described is sure to have weight with your aunt.’
Oops. Not so much luck there, I’m afraid.
I looked at Ella through a gap in the bushes. She looked slightly apprehensive. ‘Err… I don't know whether telling her about us would be the best idea. Lilly is a wonderful person, only… sometimes I think she is a tiny bit prejudiced against men.’
What? Me, prejudiced? Me?
‘Prejudiced against men, my love?’ Edmund frowned. ‘I don't quite understand. Has a man wronged her in the past?’
‘Not as such. I think it’s rather that she thinks all men wrong her just by breathing.’
Edmund looked even more puzzled by this.
‘Why?’
Ella leaned closer to the fence. Looking quickly around her as if she were going to say something very naughty, she whispered in a voice so low I had to strain my ears to catch the words: ‘You know, I think she secretly wants to be one. A man, I mean.’
My mouth dropped open. Of all the ridiculous…
I was seriously considering marching over there and giving my little sister a piece of my mind! ‘Wants to be one’ indeed!
‘How very strange,’ Edmund commented, still puzzled. I glowered at him from behind the bushes. What did he know? He was allowed to vote and to work for a living, and he didn’t have to conceal the fact.
‘That’s what I thought,’ Ella said, nodding eagerly. ‘However, I may be mistaken. And I really shouldn’t be saying such things. It is not very kind of me, after all, to insinuate that my own sister is stark raving mad. Really, deep down, she is a very gentle soul.’
Really? I certainly didn’t feel very gentle at the moment!
‘Then why not reveal the truth to her? She might take some time to get used to the idea, but once she got to know me that would surely change.’
Don’t be so sure.
‘Maybe, but… her reservations regarding men are not the only reason for keeping my silence,’ Ella confessed. Looking around, she continued in hushed whispers: ‘I have a feeling that if I reveal this dark secret to another soul, somehow it will be revealed to all the world. Sometimes I feel as though there is a sinister figure in the shadows, watching us and listening to every secret word we say.’
Well, well. My little sister was more intuitive than I would have believed. I had to admit I rather liked being called a sinister figure. It had an interesting ring to it.
So what are you going to do now, sinister figure in the shadows? I asked myself. You’ve just discovered that your little sister, whom you thought pure as the driven snow, is in fact head over heels in love with some man and is conducting a secret romance in your own back garden! What are you going to do about it?
The first thing that popped into my mind was telling my aunt. That would put an end to Edmund’s nefarious activities, and my little sister would be out of danger.
But then… I never told my aunt anything out of principle, and so far it had worked fine for me. Maybe I should be guided by my experience in this case.
Besides, looking at the expressions on the two lovers’ faces as they stared at each other… it somehow made me feel guilty for even considering to bring an end to their nocturnal meetings. Me, feeling guilty! I never felt guilty! Even when I did something for which I probably should feel guilty. And in this case I wasn’t, was I? I was only trying to protect my little sister.
‘Psht.’ Edmund stepped nearer to her. His hands closed around the iron poles, too. Their fingers were only inches apart now. ‘Do not be haunted by such dark thoughts, my love. No one is listening. Our secret is safe.’
Hmm… Was it?
‘We should be talking of happier matters,’ Edmund continued, smiling at Ella in that mushy way that made me want to find a bucket to stick my head into. ‘We have so little time together - I want to know about your day. You had a big day, today, didn’t you? Your first ball.’
‘Oh how I wished you could have been there,’ Ella sighed, her voice so revoltingly infused with soppiness that it gave me an intense wish for a bucket and a quiet corner. ‘I would have loved to dance with you.’
‘So would I, believe me, my love. But tell me how it was. Were you much admired? I wager all the other ladies were green with envy at your beauty.’
‘No, of course not!’ Ella blushed, though actually Edmund wasn’t so far from the truth. ‘Both the gentlemen and the ladies were very considerate, particularly our host.’
She began to tell of the ball: of how they had been welcomed, of how grand everything had been, of how Sir Philip himself had been so condescending as to dance with her. At first Edmund smiled, but every time she told of how Sir Philip had come back for another dance, his smile waned a little.
‘This… this Sir Philip sounds like the most attentive host I have ever met.’
‘Yes indeed.’ Ella smiled sweetly. ‘Only think, Edmund, his attentions still continued when I had left his house. He sent me a bouquet of flowers.’
Those words, however, did not have the positive effect on her lover my sister obviously expected them to have. He paled and took a step back.