Charlotte glanced at the decomposing corpse. He wouldn’t force himself on anyone again. That knowledge filled her with a frightening, savage joy.
“The word on the street said Tuline wanted revenge but was too afraid to take Voshak on directly. I approached him and offered him a chance to get even. We bargained.”
His voice dripped with derision, as if he were describing swimming through sewage.
“We came to an agreement. He would sell me the cipher, and I would see to Voshak’s death. When I met Tuline in the woods to deliver the payment, six of his men ambushed me.” Richard smiled. It was a hard, humorless grin. “Tuline took a few moments to astonish me with his cleverness. He had deliberately engineered the rape of his own sister.” Richard paused. “He thought this plan up, talked it over with Voshak, then he did it. All to draw me out. The level of depravity is mind-boggling.”
It made her want to retch. “What happened?”
“I left him in two pieces.” Richard leaned forward. “When Declan came to me with this proposal, he told me that this mission would consume me—and it has. He chose me for many reasons, in large part because I have nothing to lose. My family doesn’t need me now. My wife left me. I’m childless.”
An old pain stirred in her. She was childless, too. “I’m sorry.”
He paused, momentarily off-balance. “Thank you.”
An awkward silence stretched between them.
Richard cleared his throat. “I chose this road deliberately, and when I started, I thought I was worldly. I wasn’t. I’ve seen atrocities along the way that would horrify most people, and I committed some because I had to be as ruthless as my enemy. There is no room for mercy or compassion in this quest, and there is no turning back. It changes you, and should I survive, I’m not certain that I’ll be capable of normal life. Make no mistake, my lady. I’m a monster. Don’t follow me. It’s a one-way trip. Sane, kind people aren’t meant to take it.”
“How about mass murderers?” she asked. “What’s the policy for us?”
Richard shook his head. “Go home, my lady.”
“My home is burned to the ground.”
“These people are ruthless, cruel thugs. Think of what you must become to hunt them.”
He didn’t understand. “Look around you,” she said softly. “I came to the Edge to hide from my magic. I ran because I have an obligation as a healer to contain it and prevent it from hurting anyone. I needed to be someplace where my power was weakened and nobody knew me. Someone had injured me, and I wasn’t sure I could hold my emotions in check and not seek revenge. I came to the Edge alone, and I had nearly starved to death when éléonore found me. She saved me, Richard. I rebuilt my life. I was content and this”—she indicated the corpses with the sweep of her hand—“had fallen dormant. And then they killed her, and they killed Daisy.”
Her voice snapped, and she swallowed. “She was only twenty-three, Richard. Twenty-three. She had barely started her life, and they crushed her and ripped out her sister’s heart. Every time I close my eyes, I see Tulip wailing over her sister’s body. I can’t undo it. I can’t just let it go.”
“You have to try,” he said. “Vengeance will eat you alive.”
“It’s not about vengeance.” She shook her head. “It’s about stopping them. You’re trying to warn me about the road, but I’m already walking it. Have you heard of the Healer’s oath?”
“‘I swear to hold the human body sacred,’” he quoted. “‘I will apply all my effort, all my magic, and all my knowledge of procedure and remedy to preserve life, to treat malady, to ease suffering. I swear to knowingly do no harm through the use of my magic or craft. I will prescribe no remedy when none is needed. I will not seek to improve on Nature’s design for the sake of vanity, knowledge, or human passion.’”
“How do you know that?”
“One of my relatives was a certified Physician,” Richard said.
“There is more,” she said. “‘Should I break this vow through my ignorance, I will surrender myself to the mercy of my peers. I will accept their judgment and my dishonor, and should they convict me, I will cease to practice medicine. Should I break this vow by deliberate action, I will know that I have betrayed myself. I will have drowned my teachers in guilt and cast doubt and suspicion upon my students. Let my name be a bitter taste on the lips of those who knew me, let my countenance be that of dishonor, let me fade into nothingness and be forgotten, save as an example of failure and weakness, for I would become an abomination in the eyes of the world.’”
He waited.
“I’m a certified healer from the Ganer College. Today I killed human beings through the use of my magic. I did it willingly.” The words tasted foul on her tongue. “My life is over. Do you understand? I sacrificed everything I was so I could do this because it’s my responsibility as a peer of the realm and a human being to destroy this human cancer before it hurts anyone else.”
She pointed to the dead bodies. They lay there, silent and accusing, evidence of her fall from grace.
Charlotte turned to Richard. “I own the consequences of my deeds. I have nothing to lose. I need your knowledge and expertise, but I’ll keep going, with you or without, and I won’t stop until the slave trade is broken. You can benefit from this alliance, as can I. Think what an asset I can be. Don’t let my sacrifice be wasted.”
*
RICHARD leaned back. She was looking at him, waiting for an answer.