"That could take days," Kaden said, his brow furrowed. "Is there somewhere we can stay while we're here?"
"Take your pick," I said, spreading my arms wide at the empty houses. Of course, breaking into someone's abandoned home and crashing there felt wrong. I shook my head. "I suppose we can go back to my childhood home. I might as well see if there are any clothes or shoes there I could use."
Kaden's eyebrows darted up at that idea. "I would very much like to see where you grew up, little wolf."
I sighed, as the sea air whipped at my hair. "Don't get too excited. I didn't exactly have a happy childhood there."
He took a wayward strand of hair and tucked it behind my ear. "I don't care. It's still a part of your past. I want to know about all of it—the good and the bad."
I swallowed hard, turning my gaze toward the direction of my old home. Even though I dreaded returning there, something in my gut tugged me forward, and I became certain that I had to do this. No matter how hard it would be.
Chapter Nineteen
Kaden took my hand again, giving me the courage to start walking down the road toward the largest house in the village, nestled atop a rocky cliff overlooking the waves. The alpha would never settle for anything less of course, but the house wasn't so grand that it felt out of place in the town either. The two-story house was painted white and gray, with lots of windows so the ocean could be seen from every room. A narrow path led down to the private beach, but we passed it by and headed straight for the front door. There were no lights on inside, not that I'd expected to see any, but each step still filled me with dread as I approached.
The door was locked, but I kicked aside the rock that we kept on the porch with the spare key, and pushed the door open. Once I flipped the lights on, I just stopped and stared. It looked exactly the same as it had the day we’d left for the Convergence. Dad's coffee cup sat next to the sink with the expectation that I’d wash it when we got back. One of Jackie’s gossip magazines was splayed out on the counter next to the rest of the mail.
Kaden was completely silent, but I felt him hovering close to me as I walked through the living room. Jackie had redecorated the place recently, painting the walls stark white, then changing all the furniture to a modern gray, with black and white accents around the room. She loved to do this every few years to keep up with the trends, but to me, it felt staged. The room was spotless, with nothing out of place, like she wanted anyone who came into the house to think we had a picture-perfect life.
All sorts of emotions bounced around inside me, and I couldn't focus on any single one of them. In a way, it was nice to come back to this place where I'd spent most of my life. This home was all that I'd known, and I did have some happy memories inside it. Of course, they'd all been with Wesley, and at that thought, the heavy weight of my grief nearly crushed me. There were bad memories too, of course. All the times my parents had been cruel with their words or their hands. Or in other ways, the more subtle yet more painful ones, like when Wesley got Christmas presents and I didn't. Or how he was in every single family photo hanging on the walls here, but I was nowhere to be found.
Being back in this house made me so angry, and sad, and relieved that they were gone, and guilty for feeling that way, and so many other emotions I didn't even have a name for. I nearly bolted out, too overwhelmed by it all, until Kaden rested his hand on my lower back as if he knew I needed his support.
"Breathe," he said. "If it's too much, we can go."
I nodded, taking a long, slow breath, and pushed through the turmoil inside me. I wasn't sure I'd be able to sleep in this house tonight, but we should at least visit my room before we left. "I'm all right. Thanks."
I drew my shoulders back and set my jaw as we headed up the stairs. My parents' door was closed, which I was thankful for—I didn't need to see anything in there. Wesley's old room, which Dad had converted to a guest room, was open, but I kept going until I reached my door at the end.
My room was the smallest, barely larger than a closet. It was also bare except for the bed, nightstand, and dresser, with nothing on the walls. I glanced around, an odd sense of nostalgia washing over me. How many times had I walked in here after a long day, cradling my camera and thinking about how I wanted to escape all this at the Convergence? Well, I'd definitely escaped, though not at all how I'd expected.
I shook the memories away and got to work, rooting through my drawers for anything I'd left behind. I'd taken all my best shoes and clothes to the Convergence in the hopes of moving to a new pack, but I found a couple of things—a ratty pair of underwear, some socks with holes in the toes, and two t-shirts that were slightly too small for me. A pair of worn flip-flops peeked out from under my bed, along with an old My Little Pony backpack from when I was a kid. Better than nothing.
“This was your room?” Kaden asked. He sounded almost shocked, as if he couldn’t believe I’d been living in a place like this for the first twenty-two years of my life.
“Yeah, why?” I suddenly realized how small it was, and how worn-down the clothes I’d put in the backpack were. Compared to the wealth on display in the rest of the house, it was pretty shameful. Maybe he'd never realized just how different our upbringings were until now.
“It’s so…” he paused. “Lifeless, compared to you. So bare. You really lived here for the first part of your life?”
“Yeah, although most of my possessions are missing,” I said wryly. “I lost them at the Convergence. Not that I had much to begin with. My parents never let me be myself, not really. I was always more of an unwanted guest in their house, the half-breed that Dad liked to pretend didn't exist. A mistake that was better out of sight, out of mind.”
Kaden let out a growl, and his hands were balled into tight fists, anger radiating off him like heatwaves. “You should never have been treated that way,” he said, with such vindication that it shook me. “If he wasn’t already dead, I’d challenge him as alpha right here, right now."
“Down, boy,” I said as I punched Kaden lightly in the arm. But even as Kaden glowered at me, I couldn’t help the smile that lifted my lips. I was secretly pleased that he’d be willing to do that for me.