—Loyalty. Honesty. Courage.
—OK. You must answer the following statements with true or false. First one: You trust reason rather than feelings.
—You want me to answer that with true or false? It’s a bogus question. I know you want me to answer true, but sometimes you need to listen to your gut.
—Then it sounds like your answer should be false.
—But if I say false, you’ll think I’m an emotional time bomb.
—I might already be thinking that. I might also think you are completely heartless. You still need to answer with true or false.
—False.
—You often think about mankind and its place in the universe.
—I do.
—So your answer is true?
—Yes.
—You feel at ease in a crowd.
—False.
—You are usually the first to react to an unexpected event, like an accident.
—Hmmm…True. I guess.
—You like to assume responsibility for something.
—True.
—In a social event, you position yourself in the center of the room, rather than on the sides.
—That’s an interesting one. I can’t remember the last time I was at a social event.
—Let me repeat the question. In a social event, you position yourself in the center of the room, rather than on the sides.
—I don’t think I do. No…False.
—You have difficulty expressing your feelings.
—That’s another bogus question. It depends on the feeling. I have no problem expressing anger. I don’t think many people do. I could say the same about joy, gratitude, frustration, amazement. Things like love, fear, shame, desire, helplessness, now that’s another story.
—That is a very well considered answer to a completely different question. Now please answer this one with true or false.
—But I can’t. I just told you there is more than one answer.
—This is unfortunate because this is a true or false question. Average it out. Do you have difficulty expressing your feelings?
—Yes…or true! My answer is true!
—There is no need to get angry.
—I’m not angry.
—If you say so. You have a problem with authority.
—You don’t need a test to figure that one out.
—It is a question. It is part of the test.
—Oh. True…What? You’re surprised? I know, now you’ll ask me why someone with authority issues would choose a career in the military.
—This is an interesting conversation you are having with yourself. Can we move on?
—Yes, we can. I talk when I’m nervous.
—You believe in the existence of extraterrestrial intelligence.
—What?
—You heard me.
—…False. What could that possibly tell you about me?
—That you do not believe in extraterrestrial intelligence. Had your answer been true, I would now think the opposite.
—You’re very helpful.
—Thank you. I will now give you the beginning of a story and you have to finish it in one or two sentences. Do you understand?
—I think I do.
—Tommy sits on the doorstep alone…
—Really? You want to understand the depths of me and you come up with “Tommy sits on the doorstep alone.” That’s just stupid…Why don’t you just ask me what you want to know?
—We could be here for quite some time if you do not answer the questions. It is a very simple exercise; it should pose no problem for someone of your intelligence.
—Don’t insult me.
—I am not. I saw your file, remember. Your qualification testing shows you have an IQ somewhere between 125 and 130. That would make you moderately gifted. Therefore, as I said, it should not be a problem for someone of your intelligence to complete a small story in one sentence or two, even under a time constraint. Shall we proceed? Tommy sits on the doorstep alone…
—Fine…His friends said they would come get him, but they didn’t. Tommy’s making up great stories in his head. When his friends finally come, he doesn’t want to play with them anymore. Moderately gifted?
—Next story. On the way to the supermarket, Lisa found a lottery ticket on the ground…
—Do you come up with these yourself or did a team of psychologists create these little gems? I mean, would anyone really say they’d steal it? Then again, what if there’s no one around? It’s not like you can put an ad in the paper…
—I do not belie—
—Never mind! Sure enough, there was a name and address on the back. She returned the ticket to an old man who lived a few blocks down. When the man died, she found out he put her in his will and left her everything. Is that touching enough for you?
—Very well. I will now enunciate a word, and you will tell me the first word that comes to mind. What is the first thing you think of when you hear…War?
—Death.
—Luck?
—I don’t know…Friend.
—Defeat?
—Rise.
—Country?
—Gratitude.
—Father?
—…Loss.
—Trust?
—…
—Ms. Resnik?
—Fund. Are we done?
—We are for now. I have a few more questions, but they are not part of the test.
—And yet you’re still going to judge me based on my answers.
—I will, but in a much more subjective way. Can you tell me what a Night Stalker is?
—It’s a member of the 160th SOAR, Special Ops Aviation Regiment. It’s an elite force. They specialize in low-altitude night-flying operations.
—Are they good?
—They’re the best of the best.
—And you are one of them.
—I am now!
—Why now?
—I lost my flight status. I got a teaching job at the Sabalauski Air Assault School after I hurt my eye, but you already know that.
—So you teach them how to fly but you cannot fly with them?
—I know you expect me to see some irony in there, but I never could. It’s special ops. They don’t take women other than in a support role.
—Who is “they”?
—The US military doesn’t allow women in combat or special operations.
—How does that make you feel?
—How does what make me feel? That women can’t join special ops? I knew that when I joined the Army. There are still a lot of rewarding jobs for women in the military. Do you wanna know if I’m upset I can’t fly anymore? You bet I am. It feels like my legs were cut off.
—You like flying that much?
—Most kids want to become firemen, policemen, fighter pilots, astronauts. Most people change their mind when they get older. I always wanted…No, that’s not true; I wanted to be a princess. But I knew I wanted to become a helicopter pilot the minute I saw one hover over our house. I must have been five or six. I haven’t changed my mind ever since, never questioned my choice to join the armed forces. It’s who I am. It’s the only thing that really makes me feel alive.
—Could you fly if they let you?
—Could I? Yes. I could. I see fine.
—Let me ask you this. Why were you in Turkey?
—I’m really trying not to be a smart-ass here, but you’re making it difficult. You’ll have to be more specific.
—I mean why did they send you? This seems to be the type of mission the law is designed to keep women away from, and you just told me there is an entire regiment of people who specialize in just that sort of thing. Why did they send a twenty-four-year-old woman with an attitude for such an important mission and not SOAR?
—The commander knew me. I flew support missions for him in Afghanistan. And it’s NATO, things are a little different. In any case, all the commander has to do is call it recon, or support, then I can go. There are some really good women pilots in the Army. Good commanders find ways to use them.
—One last question. What if I told you I could get your flight status reinstated? What would you be willing to do?
—Anything.
—Be careful how you choose to answer. You might regret it later.
—Then tell me what I have to do.
—Would you be willing to put your life at risk?
—That’s a ridiculous question. Anyone who gets in a military helicopter knows they’re putting their life at risk.
—Would you be willing to put the lives of innocent people at risk?