“And did they also tell you not to help her when she returned?”
I hesitated. “Not explicitly. But they made it clear in their actions they weren’t going to.”
“And don’t you think you should have followed their lead?” she pushed.
“Begging your pardon, ma’am,” I said, “but I thought my duty was to follow your instructions, not those of my fellow residents. Since neither you nor any other instructor told me not to help Renee, I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. In fact, I thought acting compassionately toward another human was something right. I apologize if I misunderstood.”
She scrutinized me for a long time, and I met her gaze unblinkingly. “You say all the right things, but I wonder if you mean them. Well, then. Let’s get started.”
With a push of the button, the screen came on, showing a typical picture of happy Moroi.
“What do you see, Sydney?”
I frowned, realizing she’d forgotten to inject me with the nausea-inducing drug. I certainly wasn’t going to call her attention to it, though. “Moroi, ma’am.”
“Wrong. You see creatures of evil.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I said nothing.
“You see creatures of evil,” she repeated.
This new turn of events left me uncertain how to proceed. “I don’t know. Maybe they are. I’d have to know more about these particular Moroi.”
“You don’t need to know anything except what I’ve told you. They are creatures of evil.”
“If you say so, ma’am,” I said cautiously.
Her face remained tranquil. “I need you to say so. Repeat after me: ‘I see creatures of evil.’”
I stared at the Moroi in the picture. It showed two girls, close to my age, who looked like they might be sisters. They were smiling and holding ice cream cones. Nothing about them looked evil at all, unless they were about to force that ice cream on some diabetic children. As I mulled this over, the armrest on my right suddenly clicked. The top of it slid back, revealing a hollowed out compartment below that was filled with some sort of clear liquid.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“Do you see creatures of evil?” Sheridan said by way of answer.
I must have taken too long to answer, and Sheridan pushed a button on the remote control. The restraints that held my arm in place suddenly began to move, lowering my arm down. It stopped just as the bottom of my arm grazed that liquid and then began raising my arm back up.
Grazing was all that was required, however. I cried out in pain and surprise as a burning sensation spread over where my skin had touched the liquid’s surface. Whatever chemical was in it made it feel as though I’d just touched a pot of boiling water, searing my exposed flesh. Once my arm was away from the liquid, the pain began to slowly ebb away.
“Now then,” said Sheridan, far too sweetly after what she’d just done. “Say ‘I see creatures of evil.’”
She didn’t even give me a chance to respond before repeating the same procedure, letting my arm stay down a bit longer than before. Despite that, I was more prepared and managed to bite my lip to stop from crying out. The pain was there all the same, and I exhaled in relief when after a few moments, she raised my arm up and allowed me a small recovery.
It was short-lived, and she soon said, “Now say—”
I didn’t give her a chance to finish. “I see creatures of evil,” I responded quickly.
Triumph lit her features. “Excellent. Now let’s try a different one.” A new image came, this one showing a group of Moroi schoolchildren. “What do you see?”
I was a fast learner. “I see creatures of evil,” I said promptly. It was ridiculous, of course. There was nothing evil about these Moroi or the subsequent pictures she then began showing me. I’d vowed to myself in solitary that I’d play whatever games it took to get me out of here, and if she needed me to parrot back this lie in order to make up for helping Renee, I’d gladly do it.
A Moroi couple, more children, an old man … on it went. Sheridan flipped through face after face, and I responded accordingly. “I see creatures of evil. I see creatures of evil. I see—”
My words fell short as I stared up at two more Moroi—two Moroi I knew.
Adrian and Jill.
I had no idea where she’d gotten the picture, and I didn’t care. My heart leapt as I looked into their smiling faces, faces I loved and had missed so terribly. I’d imagined their faces countless times, but there was no substituting the actual image. I took in every detail: the way the light played off Adrian’s hair, the way Jill’s lips curved in a shy smile. I had to swallow back a wave of emotion welling up within me. Maybe Sheridan had meant to punish me by showing them, but it actually came off as more of a reward—until she spoke again.
“What do you see, Sydney?”
I opened my mouth, ready to recite that inane line, but I couldn’t do it. Looking into those beloved faces, their eyes sparkling with happiness … I couldn’t do it. Even telling myself it was lie, I couldn’t bring myself to condemn Adrian and Jill.
Sheridan wasted no time in acting. The chair’s device lowered my arm into the liquid, farther than it had before, so that my arm was immersed about halfway. The shock of it caught me off guard, and it was made worse by her leaving my arm there even longer than before. Whatever acid was in that concoction burned my skin, setting every nerve on fire. I yelped at the pain, and even after she raised my arm, I still found myself whimpering as the effects lingered.
“What do you see, Sydney?”
I blinked back tears of pain and focused on Adrian and Jill. Just say it, I told myself. You need to get out of here. You need to get back to them. At the same time, I suddenly wondered, Is this how it starts? How I become like Keith? Would I start off by telling myself that what I said was okay, so long as I knew it was a lie being used to avoid pain? Would that lie eventually become truth?
At my silence, Sheridan lowered my arm again, dipping it even more than before. “Say it,” she said, her voice devoid of any human emotion. “Tell me what you see.”
A low moan of pain escaped my lips, but that was it. Internally, I tried to give myself a pep talk: I won’t say it. I won’t betray Adrian and Jill, even with empty words. I thought if I could just withstand the pain a little longer, she’d give me a reprieve like before, but instead, she lowered my arm even farther so that it was completely immersed in the liquid. I screamed as I felt it sear my skin. Glancing down, I expected to see my flesh peeling away, but my arm and hand only looked pink. Whatever this compound was, it was designed to feel like it was causing more damage than it was.
“Tell me what you see, Sydney. Tell me what you see, and I’ll end it.”
I tried to fight against the pain, but it was impossible when I felt like I was being burned alive.
“Tell me what you see, Sydney.”
The pain built and built the longer my arm stayed submerged, and finally, feeling like a traitor as I met the eyes of those I loved, I blurted out, “I see creatures of evil.”
“I didn’t hear that,” she replied calmly. “Say it more loudly.”
“I see creatures of evil!” I yelled.
She touched the remote, and my arm was lifted and released from its liquid torture. I started to breathe a sigh of relief, and then suddenly, without a word of warning, she dunked my arm again. I screamed at the pain, which lasted about ten more seconds until she brought my arm up again.
“What are you doing?” I exclaimed. “I thought you said—”
“That’s the problem,” she interrupted. Through some silent command, her henchmen returned and began unfastening my restraints. “You thought. Just like you thought it was okay to help Renee. The only thing you need to be doing is what you’re told. Do you understand?”
I glanced down at my arm, which was a dark, angry pink but in no way showed the true extent of what I’d just undergone. I then looked back up at Adrian and Jill, feeling guilty for my weakness. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Excellent,” Sheridan said, setting the remote down. “Then let’s get off to your next class, shall we?”