I took two steps back. “I’ll just go run through my tasks real quick. You guys enjoy Moonshine.”
My heart hurt too much to look at any of them. Moonshine would go to a great family. She’d be just fine. That dog, though, when I held her, I felt more connected to her than the others. She always calmed in my hands and licked my face way more than anyone else’s.
Dr. Nathan had said, “I think this one might be yours.” But I’d just shook my head. I didn’t need any pets.
“I’ll go with you.” Bastian stood, his suit somehow not at all wrinkled. He undid his jacket and placed it on the back of a chair. Eyes on me, he undid his cuffs and rolled them up his forearms. “An extra set of hands for help, right?”
I cleared my throat, unable to look away from the tattoos on his forearms. He hid his markings from the world so well, I forgot he had tattoos there. The way they snaked up his skin, weaving around the veins that popped up had my mouth dry.
Jesus. I needed to get laid. I grabbed two plastic boxes of equipment, trying to clear my head.
He followed me out of the room.
“It’s really fine to stay with your brother. It’s nice they’re here to visit and I do this by myself all the time.”
He hummed. “Well, tonight, you have me.”
“I feel like this is a 180 from how much time we’ve been spending together,” I grumbled more to myself than him. I couldn’t help that my heart was beating too fast and how hyperaware I was of him walking behind me, probably assessing how I looked from that angle.
I stepped to the side and pointed to the kennels. “Some of the dogs aren’t as friendly.”
“I’ll be fine.” He slid his hands in his pockets and eyed the boxes in my arms. “Can I carry something for you?”
“It’s fine.” I sped forward but he still beat me to the door and opened it for me. The barking drowned out most of my crazy thoughts, and the way the pups leaped onto their wire cage doors had me rolling my eyes. “Oh, don’t act like you’re deprived, you guys. I’ve only been gone for a week.”
There were about 10 dogs that needed my extra care tonight. I pointed to a little white dog. “Tito needs a warm blanket and petting while he eats. Otherwise he won’t touch his food. Can you do that?”
“Is that what’s most helpful?” Bastian asked, completely accommodating.
I didn’t get his newfound desire to help or be a part of my day. I tallied my pups. Most would be a pat on the head and quick fix. “Yes, I have to clip nails, let out Darcy one last time, give a few pups some pills with food. Tito is the most time consuming.”
“I’ll sit with Tito then.”
I pulled keys from my pocket and opened the kennel door, eyeing his suit pants. “Maybe, um, I can get you a chair.”
He tsked and plopped down right on the cement floor next to Tito. “Don’t be ridiculous, Morina.”
I gasped. “Those pants will be ruined.”
“And then I’ll buy more.”
“It’s such a waste of money.”
“Not when I’m helping my new fiancé,” he singsonged without looking up at me.
Was this the new and improved Bastian who had finally decided to commit to this process? Did he expect me to do the same?
Our vows wouldn’t be true. Our marriage would be a sham and our lives would be under some stupid, weird contract. I set a candle from my box on a shelf near one of the windows. Lavender in the candles helped to soothe the animals. I lit it and played some rain music on my phone.
Breathing in the scent, I tried to tell myself I could do this with him. Faking should be easy. Except with him here now, in my space, I wondered if we could handle each other in such close proximity. Why my body reacted to him sitting on a urine-stained cement floor, ready and willing to suddenly make this work after days was a mystery to me. It was one I didn’t want to solve either.
The nails that I hadn’t manicured or painted in months looked much too ragged as I peered down at them, trying to think of something to say to Bastian.
I mumbled a quick thank you as I walked past and got to work on the animals.
Each had a different personality. The kittens sprung up and purred for as long as I would stroke them, some purrs so loud that they shook the kitten’s whole body.
Some of the pups, on the other hand, didn’t even lift their heads when I came in to pet and feed them. Darcy actually pranced away from me. The poodle in her was proud enough to avoid even the little bit of attention she got from me. Still, she wagged her tail when I took her out back to go to the bathroom and threw the ball a few times.
Finally, once the kennels had calmed from our company and all the animals were taken care of, I returned to Tito’s cage. Bastian leaned against the brick wall with Tito curled up in his lap. He rubbed the puppy’s head back and forth. Both had their eyes closed.
Glimpses of what Bastian must have been to those he loved showed through his absence of these past few days. Suddenly, I was warm all over staring at him.
“He needs someone to sit with him, and it seems you don’t mind a pup sitting with you either.” I leaned against the kennel’s metal doorframe.
“He ate all his food,” Bastian murmured, still rubbing the dog’s head. “You’re right though. Wouldn’t continue eating unless I was petting him.”
Why was I more than warm now? Did big, masculine men showing love set off an internal beacon for women?
I stuck my hand in my jean pocket and felt around for the small blue crystal I’d slid in there. This was supposed to push tranquility. I was hoping for more like tranquilizers for my libido. “All pets have their quirks, I guess. Just like all us humans have ours.”
“What’s your quirk, Morina?”
The question shouldn’t have meant much, but Bastian was analyzing me.
“I probably have so many quirks that my quirk is having too many.” I cleared my throat and pushed off the metal frame, picking up Tito. He whined as I set him down in his bed and covered him with a little blanket we’d made for dogs that liked to snuggle in. “We should go get Cade and Ivy. I’m all done here.”
“Why don’t you have a dog?” Bastian still sat on the floor like he was in no rush to move and wanted to chit chat with me all day long.
“Because… I don’t need one. I have all the dogs and cats and pets when I’m here.”
“Sure, but then they go to a permanent family. Do you get attached?” His large hands threaded together and the big gold ring he always wore glinted under the flickering lights.
“I mean, yeah. I like all the animals, but I don’t have enough time to give them a good home like the families who come in here do.”
“You told me the first time we met that you don’t travel.” He managed to rise up from the ground like a god.
My eyes narrowed. “So what?”
“So a dog can be at home for 8 hours while you work the food truck. That’s the norm for a pet, I would think. What do you mean about not having time? Or is there another reason?”