The sun had not yet risen by the time Kit made it home, and Charlie was twisted into a pillow, one leg dangling off the bed. Kit hovered at her side for a moment and longed to sleep next to her, absorb her warmth and easy rest. It shouldn’t be so hard for a mother to hold her daughter, but it was.
She shook Charlie awake.
“Get yourself together, we’re going to help Doc.” She went over to the closet, pulled down a canvas bag, and tossed it at Charlie. “Might pack a few things just in case she needs us to stay the night.”
“Jesus,” Charlie said, squinting, and covered her eyes. “What the hell for?”
Kit wasn’t prepared to explain herself. “Someone did something awful to Warbucks,” she said. “She needs us.”
Charlie sat up. “Warbucks? Oh my god.” She pulled her arms inside her T-shirt and stretched it over her bent knees, just waking up to what Kit had told her. “What kind of a sicko would hurt a horse?”
Kit just shook her head, hoping she was wrong about Manny, certain that she wasn’t.
“Doc must be really messed up about it,” Charlie said, clearly looking for the rest of the story. “But why would we stay over there? Doc doesn’t need a babysitter. She’s got bigger balls than any man in town.”
Kit ignored her, wishing for once Charlie would just go with the flow. She trotted down the stairs and put a few things in a duffel—a flashlight, some ammo, her shotgun. Charlie appeared at the top of the stairs.
“You’re bringing the gun?” she said. “This is insane. How about a toothbrush? Why won’t you just tell me what the shit is going on? Why do you always act cagey all the time? Maybe you got something to hide.”
“The fuck do you mean by that?” Kit snapped, climbing the stairs. Her daughter seemed to be trying to connect dots that didn’t go, and Kit didn’t appreciate the scrutiny in this particular moment. Charlie retreated to her bedroom.
“Nothing, I don’t know,” Charlie mumbled. She picked her jeans off the floor, sat on the bed and pulled them over her feet, then jimmied them up to her waist.
“Are we talking about something that ain’t being said?” Kit asked.
Charlie smoldered. “I’ve been hearing all sorts of things about you.”
Kit waited for her to go on. It wouldn’t be the first time that people in town had talked about her. But there was a bruised quality to her daughter’s voice that worried Kit.
“It’s garbage, really,” Charlie said. “Sandy likes to think she knows stuff but she’s a liar. I fuckin’ hate her.”
“Sandy?” Kit said, impatient to get moving. She cared none too much for Sandy’s opinion of her. She took Charlie by the arm. “What did Sandy say? Why are you being so mysterious?”
Charlie backed against the wall and shook her head, disbelieving. “Me, mysterious? You’re mysterious. You’re a fuckin’ puzzle wrapped up in chains and padlocked and dropped in the middle of the ocean! Why didn’t you tell me about Manny until he came a-knocking on our door? I shouldn’ta had to wonder who my father was or where you came from or any of it. I should get to take that shit for granted but I can’t! If you were any kind of mother, you’d know that kids shouldn’t have to question Did my mom really kidnap me from my dad? Is my mom a criminal? because that’s fuckin’ ridiculous, but that’s exactly what’s on my mind right now.”
Kit let go of her arm, leaving a yellow cuff where her hand had been.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m wondering right now,” Charlie said, her eyes full of tears, “and by the look on your face maybe I don’t have to wonder anymore.”
Kit felt her guts collapse. She shuffled words around searching for a way to explain. How could she tell Charlie any of it? “I didn’t kidnap you, exactly,” she said.
This seemed to make Charlie even more angry.
“Exactly? Roughly, then? You basically sort of kind of kidnapped me but not exactly?”
“You were mine—” Kit reached for her. Charlie dodged.
“Yours? I’m not property, yours or anyone’s. You can’t just cheat me out of having a father, I don’t care why you did it.”
“That’s not what I meant—I thought I was doing the right thing.”
Kit could see that Charlie was trying to understand, but she couldn’t figure out a way to connect. It was as if Kit were on a rope, swinging toward and away from her daughter, and she couldn’t stop the motion, all she could do was hang on.
“Manny’s been here for two weeks and the whole town loves him. We’ve been here since I was born and what do we have to show for it? You’re the town nut and I’m the town nut’s freak daughter. My life is so messed up. Because of you no one wants to come near me.” Charlie started to cry into her hands. “Maybe you want to be alone,” she said. “But I don’t.”
What really hurt was that Kit knew her daughter was right. She had always wished for more for Charlie. Friends, hobbies, family, a proper childhood. But Kit always got in the way. She was guilty and she should make it right. Maybe all she needed to do was go to Charlie, hold her, tell her everything would be okay. Red’s words from long ago came to her like a commandment: Be there for her little spirit.
But how was she supposed to start being a different person all of a sudden? She didn’t know how to make Charlie feel better or give her advice or listen to her feelings. She couldn’t tell her about the doctor in the trailer, or the day she came running into Pecan Hollow. There wasn’t a way to make any of this right. All she could do was keep her daughter safe. Kit pinned Charlie’s wrist behind her back.
“Maybe you’re right,” Kit said, as cool as she could. “Maybe I’m terrible and everything’s fucked. But right now, you’re coming with me.”
Charlie broke away and tried to throw the bedroom door between her and Kit. Kit wedged herself in the jamb and pushed her way back in. She took Charlie by the waist, flipped her upside down over her shoulder, and carried her down the stairs.
“Let go a me! Let go!” Charlie screamed too close to Kit’s ear. Kit clenched her teeth and kept a hold of Charlie’s thrashing legs. Charlie gripped the banister and nearly toppled them both, but Kit managed to jerk loose and bring them safely to the truck. She opened the passenger door with her free hand, dumped Charlie in the truck, and slammed the door behind her.