3
YELENA
Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Clutching the blanket in tight fists, I repeated the words. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Except it failed to work. Panic burned up my throat. I gasped for breath. The words transformed to no magic. No magic. No magic.
The darkness pressed against my skin, sealing me inside my body, blocking me from the warmth and light that was my magic. All my senses had been stolen along with my magic. Sounds, sights and scents gone. A bitter taste all that remained.
No magic. Cut off from the lost souls, disconnected from the wildlife and severed from my colleagues, I’d been rendered useless. No magic.
I stayed on the hard floor of our bedroom huddled under the blanket. My thoughts buzzed with misery. When the sun rose, a bit of relief eased the chaotic terror that had consumed me. My vision worked after all.
A loud bang on the door broke the early-morning quiet and Kiki’s piercing whinny cut right through my conviction that all had been lost. Hooves pounded on wood and I staggered to my feet.
I’m okay, I said. No response. My heart twisted.
“I’m okay,” I shouted over another barrage.
Kiki stopped. But for how long? I grasped the handrail and eased down the steps. Sharp hunger pains stabbed my guts, but I aimed for the door. Kiki’s mostly white face peered through the window. A patch of brown circled her left eye.
As soon as I opened the door, she barged in, almost knocking me over. Not hard to do since I hadn’t eaten in over a day.
I wrapped my arms around her neck. “I’m fine.” Leaning my forehead against her soft hide, I opened my mind to her. Nothing. I breathed in her scent—a mix of dry straw, cut grass and earth.
“I can’t... I don’t have...” Why was it so hard to say? “My magic...is gone. I can’t talk to you.”
Kiki snorted.
“Yes, I know I’m talking to you, but we can’t communicate.”
She pulled away and gazed at me. And while her thoughts didn’t sound in my mind, I understood her sarcastic, what-do-you-call-this look. Then she nudged me with her nose as if prompting me to explain.
Her actions snapped me from my scatterbrained panic. Logic wrestled raw emotion aside and I considered. What happened before my magic disappeared? A lovely evening with Valek, but we’d had a number of them throughout the years without consequences.
And before that? I touched the still-tender area on my upper chest. “The poison! How could I be so stupid?”
Kiki nodded in agreement.
“Thanks,” I said drily. “Now I just have to figure out what poison blocks a person’s magic.” Curare fit, except I’d have been paralyzed and I would have recognized its crisp citrus scent. “The arrow.” Perhaps a few drops of the poison remained.
Kiki followed me to the stable. Poor girl hadn’t been fed grain in over a day. I filled her feed bucket before searching for the arrow’s shaft. It didn’t take long to figure out Valek must have taken it with him.
Valek. Should I join him in Ixia? It’d be safer. And without the taint of magic, the Commander would welcome me with open arms. Ambrose’s aversion to magicians started back in his childhood. Even though he had a female body, he insisted he was male. He dressed as a boy and changed his name. Terrified that a magician would “see through” him, he banned them from Ixia and executed any found within the Territory when he gained power. Plus it didn’t help that the corrupt King was also a magician who had abused his power.
When I accepted my Soulfinding abilities, I discovered the true nature of the Commander’s dual personality. His mother died in childbirth, but she’d refused to leave her newborn son. She had just enough magic that her soul remained with Ambrose, turning him female. I’d offered to guide her to the sky, but the Commander felt her presence aided, not hindered, him. For now.
The Commander’s stance on magicians in Ixia had loosened a bit since he learned of his own magical beginnings, but he still had a long way to go.
Besides, traveling to Ixia wouldn’t help me discover what happened. My condition could be temporary and if so I was freaking out for nothing.
Searching my memories, I reviewed the list of poisons Valek had taught me when I’d been the Commander’s food taster over eight years ago. None of them had side effects that matched my symptoms. Then again, Valek wouldn’t have been worried about a substance that blocks magic. But would he know if one existed? Possible.
How about the Master Magicians? I groaned. First Magician Bain Bloodgood! His knowledge of history and magic was unparalleled, and if he didn’t know about this poison, he’d hunt through his stacks and stacks of books until he found it.
Feeling much better, I returned to the cottage to eat and pack. I checked the hearth and coals in the washroom, ensuring all had been properly extinguished. When I closed and locked the door, a pang of regret vibrated in my chest. Because of the attack, Valek would insist on moving. I rubbed my fingers on the stones. Fond memories swirled. The distance to the stable seemed to stretch, growing longer with each step.
Once I reached the stable, I saddled Kiki. We didn’t use reins or a bridle and normally, I’d forgo the saddle, but the saddlebags were stuffed with enough food and supplies to last a week. I paused. Had Valek and I ever had a full week to ourselves? No.
Kiki grunted, jarring me from my thoughts.
“What’s wrong?”
She jerked the girth’s latigo strap from my hand. I’d pulled it too tight. It took me a moment to understand. It was easy to saddle a horse that instructed you on how tight to make the saddle. I wondered how many other things I would need to relearn—a dreary prospect.
I fixed the girth and mounted. “Back to the Citadel as fast as possible, please.” That remained the same. I’d always let her find the best way and set the pace.
She galloped through the mud. The bright sunshine of midmorning failed to lift my spirits. I scanned the forest, seeking predators. A bird screeched and I ducked. I drew my switchblade when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. And I flattened, hugging Kiki’s neck when a thud sounded behind us.
After a few hours, Kiki stopped for a rest. I stayed by her side, keeping my back against her and my switchblade in hand. Invisible dangers lurked in the forest. A whole army of ambushers could be waiting for us downwind and I’d have no warning.
Panic simmered. I was weak, vulnerable and an easy target. When Kiki stopped for the night, I didn’t light a fire, and the few uneasy hours I slept were spent between her hooves.
By the time we reached the northern gates of the Citadel two days later, I started at every noise. Never had I been so glad to see the white marble walls that surrounded the Citadel reflecting the sunlight. The guards waved us in and I worried. What if the guards conspired with a group inside? What if we were mugged?
I twisted my fingers in Kiki’s copper mane as we crossed through the rings of businesses and factories that occupied the center of the Citadel like red circles around a bull’s-eye. A bustling market lay at the heart of this section. Skirting the crowded stalls, Kiki headed toward the Magician’s Keep, located in the northeast quadrant.
People hustled through the streets, talking, laughing, arguing as they attended to their morning chores. I stared at them. No thoughts or emotions reached me from the crowds. To my senses they had no souls. A horde of walking dead.
I leaned forward and whispered to Kiki, “Faster to the Keep, please.”
She increased her pace, weaving through the busy streets. The logical part of me understood that the shouts and curses following our passage did not come from soulless dead people. However, that knowledge didn’t stop my trembling hands or rapid pulse.
Shocked, I realized my magic had influenced how I viewed the world. I barely remembered how I had interacted with my world without magic. I wouldn’t have thought I relied on my power so much or used it to connect to the people around me in the past six years. Yet, I felt as if I’d been wrapped in a thick black cloth from head to toe. The cloth had holes for my eyes, ears, nose and mouth, but the rest of me remained swaddled.
I eased my tight grip on Kiki’s mane when the Magician’s Keep’s grand entrance loomed. Elegant pink marble columns supported scalloped arches that framed the two-story-high marble doors. The doors were always open, but they were guarded by four soldiers, a magician and a wooden gate.
They straightened as we approached.
“Good morning, Liaison Zaltana. Back so soon?” asked the sergeant in charge.
“Yes, Mally, an urgent matter has cut my vacation short. Is Master Bloodgood in his office?”
She turned to the magician...Jon from the Krystal Clan.
Jon peered at me, questioning. “Can’t you—”