The beach is one of my favorite places - when it's empty. Today it's overflowing with people. Emma parks in a distant field and we pick a spot on the sand between several other sun-seekers. I lift my face and breathe in deeply. The sound of the ocean fills my ears, as the salty breeze lifts my hair. Emma throws down the towels and smooths them out. While Em runs off to change, I lay down on the towels in my tank and cutoff jeans, adjusting my sunglasses so they're in the right place. As I lace my fingers behind my neck, I close my eyes.
This is perfect. It'll give me time to think, to decide what I want to do before I see Cole again. Part of me wants to ignore the whole thing and not deal with the drama, because since I met Cole I've noticed that is the one thing he promises - lots of drama. I'm not sure if I'm up for that. Especially with the way my life is. I have plenty of drama on my own. Kicking it up a notch with Cole might make my head implode.
You're a coward, Anna, a voice whispers in the back of my mind. Maybe I am. Maybe Cole's not the right guy, but as soon as I think it, I know that's wrong. Cole feels right.
The sound of his voice makes me jump, "Anna," Edward says. His shadow falls over me. I squint up at him, wondering how he spotted me. I'm packed between tons of people and after what Emma said, I really don't want to talk to him right now.
I push myself up onto my elbows, "Hey. Em just ran to change. She'll be right back."
Edward stands there frozen, hands on his hips, wearing a blue swimming suit that shows off his body. He has a deep tan that suggests he's already been here for hours. I wonder if Emma knows he's here, if she's trying to make our paths cross. My stomach twists. That can't be right. She planned on staying out in the Hamptons, not coming here.
"I know," he says, running his hands through his hair. "Actually, I came to see how you were doing. It's been a while." Actually, it hasn't, but he seems sweet enough.
Making my hand into a visor, I press it to my forehead so I can see him. The sun is behind his back. "I'm good. Working a lot, but good." I pause and try to look at his face again. Something about the way he's standing makes me uncomfortable. I can't decide why. I clear my throat and ask, "How's school? Staying out of trouble?"
Raising his hand to his face, he grins down at me. I can see his eyes now. "School's fine. Good. I heard you were staying out in the Hamptons for the summer?"
"Yeah, for the internship, remember?" He nods. I don't understand why he acts like I never told him about it. I did. I remember the conversation. "I thought I already told you that?"
He smiles sheepishly, "You did. I just panicked and didn't want to walk away, yet. Anna..." his tone is too soft, beseeching. It kills me to hear it.
Before I can say anything, Emma walks up behind me and seems surprised to see her twin, "Hey, Eddy. What are you doing here?" She turns her head both ways, looking for the rest of his friends, but turns back to her brother with a raised brow.
"Just hanging out."
"Cutting class, no doubt," Em retorts. She grabs a huge pair of black plastic sunglasses from her bag and slides them on. Her black bikini makes her look like a super model. As I look around, I see many male eyes on Emma, no doubt wondering if they should try and talk to her.
My phone rings. I pick it up and look at the screen. Cole. I send it to voicemail. I can't talk to him now. Edward is watching me as the conversation with his sister commences.
"As are you, unless the paper fired you already - " He knew how to press her buttons. His words make Emma puff up, ready to fight.
"For your information, I got the job and Anna and I are out celebrating. So go dig a hole or something and leave us alone." She makes a face at him and points, indicating he should leave.
Edward smiles, "Is that so? Well, good for you, Sis. Good for you." He looks over at me and nods, "See you around, Anna."
I nod back, watching him leave. Part of me wonders if I made a mistake, if Edward was the right guy. It seems like a minor thing, after all, a relationship isn't just about sex. Most of the time a relationship is spent doing other stuff, stuff that I enjoyed with him. Internally, I groan. I sound like an eighty-year old.
Emma is leaning back on her hands, people watching. "There are a lot of hot guys here, Anna." Her gaze is locked on a group of young men a few towels down.
"Then go get them, Em. I'm not in the mood."
"Psh," she says, swatting me. "You're never in the mood. It just means you haven't found the right guy yet - one who lights a fire in your panties and makes your heart bounce around in your chest until it feels like you'll keel over and die."
I stare at her blankly. I do feel like that about one guy. That is the problem. I laugh and shake my head, "Do me a favor and just take the guy you're picking out for me, too. I seriously doubt he'll mind." I'm joking, but Emma has a devilish smile on her face.
"We'll see about that." She stands up and brushes the sand off her lean legs. Without another word she strides toward the group of guys playing volleyball. Her sights are set on a man that is clearly my type and not hers. I straighten and watch her in horror as she stops behind him. The guy turns and looks at Emma and then back at me. He nods, listening to her and then smiles at me. I return his smile, but feel foolish. Emma is a dead girl as soon as she comes back.
They talk for a few minutes. The guy is forced out of the game when his friends resume it without him. He follows Emma back toward our spot and says, "You're friend here invited me to join you for a little bit."
"Mmm," I eye Emma and mouth, I'm gonna kill you, when the hot guy turns to look at his friends, but she just swats her hand at me.
"I'm Jesse. Jesse Oden."
"Anna Lamore," I reply feeling silly. Jesse looks like he's in his early twenties. It's clear that Emma is telling me to stick with guys my own age. I hate it when she does stuff like this. I decide to curtail the whole thing, "Listen, Jesse - I don't know what she told you, but - "
He smiles down at me. "She didn't tell me much of anything. Just that you were her friend and I was your type. So I thought I'd come over, say hi, and see if we hit it off. If not," he shrugs, "no harm. Right?"
I'm shooting daggers at Emma, who's standing behind him and nod slowly. Why does everyone need to prove a point with me lately? Am I that thick? Internally, I moan, but he's too nice. I smile at him and nod, "Sure. Why not?"
As it turns out, we have a lot in common and soon I find I'm laughing and talking to him because I want to, and not for any other reason. Emma runs off into the surf after a few minutes and leaves us alone on the towel. Jesse sits down next to me. He is my totally type - dark hair, blue eyes, and completely breathtaking. His smile is so perfect he could be on a toothpaste commercial.
Goosebumps pop up on the back of my neck. For some reason I feel uneasy, but it has nothing to do with Jesse. I shiver, and brush them away. Turning, I look around through the mass of people. It feels like someone is watching me, but I don't see anyone staring. There are people everywhere. It's stupid to get spooked like this, but I can't help it. I ignore the sensation and go back to talking with Jesse. He makes me smile.
"No way," I say, shocked, pulling my feet closer to my bottom, "when did you graduate?" I wrap my arms around my knees as I talk.
"Last year. Oh, I know where it was! I sat in front of you in art history with Peters. I thought you looked familiar." He is convinced he saw me on campus, but I can't place him. That isn't abnormal since the university is huge. So are the classes. However, in this case, I am just obtuse.
"Oh my god! That was you? That was you!" I laugh, shaking my head. "Small world, huh?"
"Apparently so. Good thing for us, right? I mean, what are the odds? Out of all the places to park and then set your towel, what are the odds it'd be by mine?" He flashes me that movie star smile. Jesse is so sweet.
"Well, it must be fate, because I have no luck."
"I think you might have a little," he leans closer to my face and brushes a kiss against my lips. I'm stunned, but I don't move. A thousand thoughts rush through my mind and each one stems from Cole. I feel caught in the middle. Jesse is the kind of guy that I would go for. Emma did well, but I don't want to give up on Cole.
I don't kiss him back.
Jesse hovers for a moment, his warm lips waiting for me. When I don't kiss him, he pulls back. Jesse smiles and runs his hand through his hair, looking at the waves in the distance, he says softly, "Guess it's not the right time for us, is it?" Through lowered lashes I glance up at him and shake my head. "Well, whoever he is, he's lucky. I hope he knows it." He pushes off the towel and stands. "I really liked meeting you. If my luck changes, let me know."
He hands me his number, and I take it.
I watch Jesse walk away and wonder what I'm doing. I just turned down an awesome guy after Cole made it clear he doesn't want to be with me. Staring at the waves, I decide that I have to find out why. There has to be a reason. It makes no sense for Cole to have that little moment of truth scene and then douse it with outright rejection. There has to be an explanation. Part of me shies away and doesn't want to hear it, but I can't leave it alone. I can't leave Cole alone. There's something about him that captivates me, something worth fighting for.